Hey Got the Gene, I find that I am having to learn to process emotions without the alcohol and it isn't easy. Take pride in going through the counseling relatively sober!

Hey Keek,
I'm wondering if your bad reaction to drinking recently was actually a Nalover? It's been my experience, now that I've tapered off my intake, that I can get a Nalover w/ very little alcohol...as little as one glass of wine.

Working thru the emotional stuff can be hard....but I've found the several books on alcoholism helpful and it makes it much easier realizing everyone has problems....everyone is dealing w/ something...and there are people out there dealing w/ stuff much worse than what I'm dealing w/. Putting it all in perspective helps.

Looking at your signature, your numbers look great. Wishing you continued progress!

So it looks like having a few AF days before taking the Nal makes one experience the initial SE's all over. So much for trying to do as many AF days as possible and then using the golden rule....ICK. Makes me wonder if I shouldn't take a small amount (say 6 mgs) on a daily basis just to acclimate. Perhaps this would tone down those nasty Nalovers. I think I read somewhere that low dose Nal is also used to treat Fibromyalgia: Do I see a light at the end of this tunnel? Yep!

Tonight I must admit I was craving a drink. I almost talked myself into going to get a vodka tonic, all in the name of extinction. I had to divert myself with some hot chocolate and this forum. There is a lot of information on this site, so here is a big thank you to all who have shared their trials and tribulations.

On the tail end of day 4 AF for this week. Right now I am trying to plan which day I want to drink because I'm afraid the nalover might ruin the following day. Hubby and I are planning a get away weekend, So the question is: What day can I least afford to be hungover? I'm thinking Saturday cuz I just have to make it through a mindless Sunday morning. Feeling very anxious just thinking about it. Insert deep breath ......Time to shut her down and go to sleep.....zzzzzzzzz

Well the nasty nal-over totally scared and discouraged me and I managed to slide right back into old patterns of drinking without the Nal way more than I should. Wow, can I justify the alcohol without the Nal: " I mustn't be an alcoholic since I can go AF and not have any withdrawal symptoms." Guess what? If I don't have cravings, then why do I want to down a bottle every three days or so? I suppose this is a clear sign of the deprivation effect. I do come real close to going the AA route on hangover days. Fortunately, I've only had three since the last post. My hubby has been saying that I am doing great with being able to go 3-4 days AF and that I told him that this TSM was going to take some time. He doesn't want me to throw in the towel because he knows how resistant I have been to AA. I know I need to take the Nal..So here I am going AF for a couple of days to clear my system of both the alcohol and vicodin. Let me admit right here and now that I don't really need the pain pills and ibuprofen would do just fine. Yes the weather bothers me but It is the pain of the hangovers that I have primarily used it for. OUCH, that hurt.

I plan to acclimate to the naltrexone in a couple of days by taking a low dose (3mgs). Then I promise to work this program the way it is suppose to work. Now here is an AA thing (moral inventory) Yes, I am one of the most noncommital humans that I know. Another AA motto: Keep coming back...It works if you WORK it. Now I need to figure out my units for the past couple of weeks. Thanks to all for helping me to not feel so lonely in the nasty battle. Hugs, tears, and hope, Keek

Grrrrrrr....got logged out again after a long post on another thread.....This forum is starting to piss me off! I think if I submit a long post half way through composing it and then edit it to finish, it is less likely to be lost. I will do this in the future to see if it works.

Maddening, I know! Almost enough to drive you to...I dunno, overeating, or something

I haven't had that problem (getting logged off when posting) but a lot of people do, and you can always compose in a text editor and paste in when you're ready...we don't want to miss hearing what's going on w/ you!

It has been a very interesting week. Last week when I posted I had had a couple of AF days under my belt. Friday night came and I was thinking " do I just do another AF (which would have been the smart thing to do) or do I take a little Nal, say 10 mgs and drink. Nal + drinking won, so I think I drank about 5 units - One with dinner, stopped at store and drank two....Didn't realize that I hadn't drank the third and thought I needed more, so back to store for drink 4 & 5....Felt horrible the next morning, but I did leave drink six and seven in the fridge. I didn't think I'd be drinking over the weekend because I had a 1/2 marathon to run... I drank a glass of wine without Nal and 3 after the race, but that is only because of the way I was feeling after Friday nights indulgence. It was not my best race, but I did finish to tell about it. The drinking on Friday definitely affected my performance and I am still tired. Funny, If given a choice, I'd still take drinking over running....Right now I'm "managing" both, just not very successfully!!!. Monday was spent AF driving and resting. Yesterday I slept for 11 hours. Last night I decided to get a 3 unit box of red wine at the store..I took a little Nal and drank the wine. I didn't notice it while drinking, yet I was able to convince myself not to go get more. It did take a little willpower. I was soooooo proud this morning when I woke up. The problem was that I woke at 3 feeling a bit wired, so I showered, etc. thinking this is what it feels like to drink "normally". Then by 6:30 a.m. I kinda hit a wall and felt nauseous, so I crawled back under the covers and half slept til 9. All day I've been in a slump, so I found a project to make myself feel worthwhile. Nightstands are almost finished being stained. Tonight I just about talked myself into drinking without any Nal and saying the hell with it. "If I'm going to feel like ****, I might as well get a good buzz beforehand!! ".....Baby steps.....I went to the store to get my 4 drinks, but.... I took a little Nal (remember, I'm titrating up and if it helps to extinguish, then who am I to argue). I just finished drink number two and am still feeling blah, but am happy that I didn't give up on it. I had to say to myself Nal? AA? Possibly Rehab? and then I remember that I am on this Forum for a reason. I just hope I don't feel horrible tomorrow morning. I'll let y'all know. Keek

Yeah, I woke up feeling great this morning with a good nights sleep. Now, I think I'm ready to up my Nal to 12.5 mgs. I plan on taking the next two days off and then have a couple of drinks on Saturday night. I am a little apprehensive because the "kids" are coming to visit and I don't want to feel miserable on Sunday like I did the last time we were together. Since this TSM is a priority I am going to have to chance it. They know I am working this method, so I'll just have to be honest with them. What I have learned so far: Hydrate well; eat; wait an hour and a half for the Nal to kick in (for me). Also, I think wine seems to effect me worse than vodka. I hope you all are "well". Keek Now I'm going to read some of your posts. Thanks again for posting!
I wish we could make notes in our signatures to explain the ups & downs and SE's of Nal.
Oh well.

Keek, I am in awe....how you can run a 1/2 marathon w/ a nalover or hangover is nothing short of amazing. Heck, how you can run a 1/2 marathon period is amazing. I'm gearing up for a 5k tomorrow w/ my son and I know that will wipe me out
Reading about your various attempts, the good thing underlying it all is that you are keeping at it. One day, something will happen and you'll cross a threshold; we all hope that is sooner than later. Keeping a few AF days in a week is great (important to address the daily habit thing) and the fact that you just buy what you'll drink is good. Hang in there; we are cheering for you!

Keek, I appreciate your detailed, explanatory signature w/ the mgs. of Nal, in addition to aus...I know you've done TSM in the past; did you have this much trouble w/ SEs and were you able to get up to a tolerance of 50mg? The SEs are a big drag, and I admire your determination and perseverance in spite of them! TSM is very worthwhile, so steady on