AsRealityTurns Weekly Progress

AsRealityTurns · **Posted:** Mon May 04, 2009 8:25 pm

Thanks Waiting, I just have these mood swings, need to wait them out, but sometimes they are large monsters, and overwhelm me. Yes, now I see, I did have a good Saturday, but as the perfectionist, I want it all. And the drinking does not help that at all. I am ready to be finished with this. But as you say, perseverance furthers so hopefully shall I.

I am very needy as I am not getting support at home, so I very much appreciate all and any of your care. Thanks to all that are in this struggle with me.

AsRealityTurns · **Posted:** Wed May 06, 2009 8:54 pm

Just wanted to note, my depression has lifted and I am back in the race! I usually am ok with it but this time it really grabbed a hold of me, and you who know me more personally can understand, but I am back up and keeping with the method.

Drank some wine today but did not want it, but drank it anyway, (I mean a part of me wanted it but a part did not) Does that happen to you? And of course I feel better with the drug (AL) in my system. I am making sure to take the Nal, so

REALLY! Isn't this a drag to have this on our minds so often of our day and life?
:roll:

AsRealityTurns · **Posted:** Sat May 16, 2009 12:22 pm

Just a quick update:

I had a bad week and drank alot, back up to high levels and drunk twice. Wine only, have not bought nor drank vodca in weeks.

Now I seem to have gotten it out of my system and yesterday did not feel like drinking but drank two small glasses of wine anyway and it did not taste good, now today it does not appeal to me at all. Maybe, just maybe, this will be an AF day, that would be wonderful and amazing and that would make me feel better.

I hope so and I hope this means I am turning a corner in this AF quest.

Very low energy, it is almost the dark of the moon and I always have low energy, feel very much like the gravity is pulling me down. So I just go with the flow. But I am not depressed, and I am resuming the intake of baclofen during the day as I had been mostly taking it at bedtime. It does seem to help with my mental state.

I do have a difficult time with scheduled meds and vitamins so I am trying to be more diligent.

Been awake now for three hours and the thought of wine just turns me off, wish that thought would stay with me forever! And I am going to try to hydrate more, making water with lime, or mint leaves, or cucumbers. Plain water just does not appeal to me.

I have a good formula for a liver cleanse and I will post it up soon. I will post in in a new forum: Liver Cleanse.

Best to you all, have a great weekend!

AsRealityTurns · **Posted:** Sun May 17, 2009 12:44 am

WOW!I HAD AN AF DAY!

I am so happy! I actually managed to get through a whole day with nothing to drink at all, just did not feel like it and I even was at a dinner party where wine was served and I did not even get a hint of longing for any.

I knew I felt like that this am, and I did not take Nal, I hope in the depths of my deepest hopes, this may be a turning point for me. If not I am so glad for this one day, and it means alot because I have been on a week roll and I never in the past have been able to stop the roll, I would lay in bed and be so sad that I was so addicted to this AL.

Well that's my happy report!

I also want to say something about my depression. I do not understand the depression because I am a very up and happy person. What a difficult thing depression is.

LaBear · **Joined:** Wed Apr 08, 2009 8:09 am **Posts:** 437

Wow, that is totally wonderful!!!!! I know you have had a very rough week as I have read your posts. I am wondering if the Baclofin had anything to do with it? Sounds like it. There was someone else here taking it, but the way that he was taking it was confusing to me, like every hour. Can you elaborate on how you are taking it now? Sounds like a winning combo. I am also wondering if you were on any benzo's before and how you tapered off before the Baclofin? Any help in this matter would be greatly appreciated. Congratulations again on not wanting or having the wine. That is a huge change!!!! GREAT~If I were there I would be over the moon. As far as the depression I think that a lot of the depression we may feel is actually due to the alcohol and once the numbers are down one would feel much better.

craving · **Joined:** Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:50 am **Posts:** 246

AsRealityTurns,

I am feeling totally happy for you that you managed to get an AF day!

More good things to follow - keep up the good work!!!

All the very best to you!

Goin4More · **Posted:** Mon May 18, 2009 6:53 am

ART, you so deserve this success! Congratulations on the first of many AF days to come! I'm right behind ya. . .

AsRealityTurns · **Posted:** Mon May 18, 2009 12:53 pm

So after my AF day, I had a good Sunday I had anxiety because I was having a group over for lunch and although I love entertaining, and do it with ease and art, I was "trying" not to drink while I was preparing the meal. I took 10 mgs of baclofen, and tried to calm down, but within a half hour, I poured a glass of wine.

As the lunch progressed, with no wine served, I did not think, nor miss it at all, nor did I sneak out to drink a glass (you know what I mean?) That, dear friends, is absolute progress!

So the day went and it was only later in the evening when I had a few more glasses, amounting to maybe a bottle yesterday.

This am I awoke, and knew I did not have to drink immediately. I managed to wait 2 hours, and took my nal first.

I wish I was having faster and better results, but I am appreciative of these small steps.

LaBear - Yes maybe the bac is helping me, I am going to try to regulate it and see if that is indeed assisting me. In regard to benzo's, as I think the Dr. is suggesting the use of zanax is not compatible I do try not to use them, but I succumb in the early am if I am not sleeping. Small amounts, but still I use it. I have not had any in three days, and with the lesser amount of AL ingestion, I am sleeping better.

waiting - I KNOW! hard to imagine especially where I was at last week. Thanks for the cheerleading!

craving - How I wish my numbers were as low as yours but I know we all have our capacity so it is all relative. Thanks for your thoughts, it really does help, knowing you are there with and for me and for yourself.

G4M - Yes, thank you too, we are going to get there slowly but surely, just as we got ourselves here. At least we are the ones that are "working" on it, we are not in denial any longer and we have a plan and a method.

XXO TO YOU ALL!

p.s. it is maybe possible, I just might get the week number down to 35 for this week!

Elfern · **Posted:** Mon May 18, 2009 2:45 pm

ART , just want to say BRAVO
for that AF .

AsRealityTurns · **Posted:** Mon Jun 01, 2009 6:25 pm

Hello dear friends! I am still here and I have been working on a rather fun project and am just about to hit my deadline,

So, a quick report, I am uping my baclofen and it is helping me to at least sleep better, no 1/2 .25 mg zanax for one week, and I really want to not use it in the middle of the night and the baclofen is REALLY helping me in my sleep.

And on My Way Out I am following the threads about baclofen so I am going to up my dosage and do it simutaniously with my nal. Ok I am my own guinea pig, but hey! whatever works, I want to shake this beast. Pretty much doing well, continue not to have ANY episodes of inebriation what so ever. And not waking up in the middle of the night and drinking, that's a real plus. The use of the bac is making me a little mellow and lethargic but I am working on my projects and it does not seem to be stopping me, but not really feeling to up to my exercise routines, but I can miss that a little bit, did get to the yoga and it was, as always uplifting.

Just the fact I am working on an art project is fabulous and I am brimming with other ideas, so not only am I making progress with the naltrexone in regard to my state of inebriation, but my creativity is bubbling and that dear friends is the most important reason for me to NOT DRINK. I do NOT like lethargy. (know what I mean?)

by the way marbella is posting on MWO and she is doing well too.

That's it for now, emotionally I am am 80% stable and as a 99% ' er that is not quite enough for me, but I am working on it.

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