Hi Kekede,
To have your units tally in your posts, go to the "user control panel" and then click on "signature"; you can input your unit counts there and they will be posted every time you add to the forum.

I see some similarities b/w you and me wrt your battle w/ alcohol.

I find it helps to just handle "today"....get thru the day....and not to make lofty long-term goals wrt alcohol. Secondly, I find it helpful to read different resources about alcoholism....it's helped me think more about my own relationship w/ alcohol. Right now I'm reading "The End of My Addiction" about a doctor who eventually cures his alcoholism w/ baclofen. Even tho I'm not trying to do exactly the same thing, I can relate so some of the experiences and I get some snippets of help. Last night I read about the AA acronym HALT = Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired = the 4 situations that exacerbate and foster alcohol cravings....I had never thought about that before...but found that useful; yes, those are the 4 big triggers for me. I need to be more aware of this.

I think it's too bad your husband is discouraging you from going to AA. Even tho AA may not be the right long term path, your wanting to go means you are reaching out for help. We all need help in this quest to control our drinking. This forum and reading all these books is how I'm doing it; I also have a few referrals to therapists that I'm looking into. You may not think it realistic to go the abstinence route (that's my feeling), but AA can give you some tools that will help you along the way.

I landed in a long AF run and am looking to introduce alcohol back into my life on an occasional basis. It may be as early and the next couple days. When I do, I will take a Nal beforehand. For me, I know this process will be a loooong time thing.

Take care and stay with the forum.

Got the Gene, Thank you

OOps....Just spilled a full coffee onto fairly new carpet...oh well. All in all, it has been going by pretty well the last couple of days. I almost ordered a wine Saturday night and my hubby said, "you're the one running in the morning". I managed to order sparkling water. Got by yesterday, after the race, without having to celebrate. Of course, I was exhausted, so that helped. Perhaps I can get addicted to running. Next time I feel like a drink, I'll just put the tennies on and head out the door. Sounds good, I know........Oh! if were just that easy...

I realize why AA seems to center around all the negative stuff that happens with alcohol. BECAUSE we forget the bad and just focus on the feel good feelings we get with it. Right now I'm just trying to be healthy

Well, yesterday I started out thinking I was going to do another AF day. Then, the evening hit and I wound up at the store buying a couple of Club Vodka Tonics. The good news is that I only bought 3, which is probably equivalent to 6 drinks and there isn't any other booze in the house. The bad news is that I am not using the Nal because my Fibro has kicked in and I tweeked my back after running really hard on Sunday. So much for becoming addicted to running! I just don't handle pain very well and need the pain pills in order to function. I have tried using NSAID's, but they don't do the job. Besides, alcohol seems to be my drug of choice and I have never abused the Rx meds. So this is how I feel this morning: I'm not going to dwell on the negative because it just puts me in a very depressed mood. I have managed 4 days in a row AF without feeling anxious and if this is the best I can do, then maybe I'll just try to improve on that. As long as I can give my liver a couple of days to repair itself, I think I'm in a better position than I am drinking 5-6 drinks per night. This is what seems to work for me. When I saw my psychiatrist last week, he said that the Naltrexone could be what has been making me feel so "raw" and teary-eyed lately, and It is quit possible that the Nal contributed to my Fibro kicking back in. I'm not sure if I will try to get back to the Nal or just work with counting units at this point. If I get the pain under control, then perhaps I'll give the Nal another try in order to determine if it is in fact contributing to the depression.

I am headed to the FP doctor today to get some baseline blood work done. Also, I plan on taking Got the Gene's advice and read up on some more self-help material.

Thanks to all of you who continue to contribute to this forum. It is good to know that there are others like me who I can go to for advice, sympathy, and motivation. I'll try and post my progress (and hiccups) on a weekly basis so that I am accountable. 'til next time, Keek

Hi Keke,
So sorry to read your fibro has flared up again. I am very impressed at your running!!! Wish I could send my body out with you!!
Thru all the ups and downs, continue to count your units (even when/if you are not taking your nal). I have done so since February and it is very satisfying to look back at the results....where I am now vs where I was back then. Even when you are having a rough patch, you'll probably see some good progress and you'll be buoyed by that.
4 AF days in a row is huge and you should feel good about that. You'll need to make sure the Nal isn't interfering w/ your other meds and once that is cleared continue to take the nal before drinking.

Regarding posting unit tallies, go to "user control panel", then "profile", then "signature"; you'll come to a screen similar to the one where you'd post and update. Just write what you want to be in your "signature" and then click submit.

Thanks for posting and keep at it. You have lots of support here!

I just typed a monster of a post and it said I needed to log in....but I am logged in. The story in a nutshell: I'm going to AA tonight or tomorrow morning. I am having my nephew come over to talk the talk. I am still scared s$@t less that I can't get this demon under control. I am going to try AF for a while and MAY introduce alcohol at a later date. I'm going to have to look around this board to see if others have had reasonable success with going AF and then trying the Nal on occasion. What is going through my mind right now is "why do I ever want to pick up another drink after it has caused me so much pain"

Hmmm, This forum seems to be a little bewitched lately. I swear I had another self post and a reply from got the gene. Oh well, here is the latest. I never made it to an AA meeting on Saturday, but I did go to a fairly new self help group called Lifering. Basically, you talk and cross-talk about what you did the previous week to remain sober. I am looking for meetings to attend throughout the week and in places I plan to travel in the next couple of weeks. I also plan on calling Women For Sobriety to see if they can email a list of meetings to me. All of the programs are sobriety based and encourage participants to not take that first drink. It is good to know one can have a life without alcohol. However, our American culture sure glamourises alcohol consumption. I met a senior who said she had the same situation as I do with regards to being able to AF for about 10 days when the cravings and self-talk about not being an alcoholic hit. I got her phone #.

I must admit that last night I was thinking that I would try this AF thing for a while and then consider re-introducing alcohol with the Nal. However, not drinking at all seems to be easier than trying to moderate. I may just be too afraid to take that first drink. We'll see what happens. I admitted to another family member that I have a drinking problem and he encouraged me not to take the first drink today. Come to find out, he has been clean and sober for over three years and the only time he went to AA was when he was court ordered. Now he says he just keeps himself busy. Hubby was home, when my sober nephew came over, and he confessed that he didn't realize how much I struggle with the alcohol. I then admitted to how much I sneak. I still feel a little "raw" today and couldn't sleep last night, but I sure feel better than I would if I had drank last night.

This forum is very therapeutic for me and I am grateful that it is available. Keek

O

Day 4 AF under my belt and Day 5 starting out well. The night before last I couldn't get to sleep until 2 a.m. and last night I fell asleep at 10:30. This morning I woke up at 3:30 a.m. with this list of pros and cons of drinking stirring around in my head. Needless to say the cons far outweigh the pros. However, I am contemplating TSM on a very controlled basis; as in once a week or two with one drink. My reasoning being that I want to not drink as opposed to continually fearing a relapse. I have to consider that I am in the first few days of a self-prescribed wagon and that I tend to be optimistic in the beginning. This has been my downfall in the past, so I'm not sure how to prepare, especially since I have committed to another family member and to my husband that I would try the sobriety route. So, if I do try to "Sinclair & extinguish" I will have to do it without their knowledge, at least in the beginning. My reasoning for this is that after reading through the posts, it seems as though the binge drinkers are the ones who have the quickest and most success. Also, I don't seem to have any physical withdrawal symptoms when I do quit. Ironically, when I have had a drink during the day, such as at lunch or after a race, I can stop after one or two. It's the night time "wires" that get to me. Anyhow, for today I plan to not drink. If anyone has an opinion on this dilemma, please feel free to pop in. Hugs, Keek

@ Gotthegene, Thank for the signature tutorial!!!!

Kekede,
Your drinking experiences seem to be somewhat similar to mine. I had no problem having a glass of wine or drink w/ lunch and then stopping; it was the night-time habit that spun out of control and into alcoholism.

Congratulations on day 4 AF...That is a very big deal!!! Keep taking it one day at a time. The first few weeks (if one gets that far) are tough. There's some detoxing taking place (and I found I got a lot of headaches). I'm still getting more headaches now than when I was drinking...but part of that could be the stress from marriage counseling (which is a real downer b/c I seem to be the one not "measuring up"...maybe I need to find more fault w/ my husband to even it up a bit ).

I've come across another good resource to read, "How to Change your Drinking: A Harm Reduction Guide to Alcohol". It provides all kinds of information and tips for reducing your intake as well as going abstinent. It's a good book to read as you try to work out where you want to go with this.

I agree, this forum is a helpful place to go to record your experience as well as to see how others are doing. Take care and wishing you a good Day 5!

This past couple of weeks have been very successful in TSM terms. I managed 8 days AF and then had 2 units of wine with dinner. I am trying to go primarily AF with a maximum of 1 day a week to drink. I am still of the mindset that I wish to get to the point where I can take or leave alcohol as opposed to the AA route. I attended 2 Lifering meetings and plan on attending more of these even though I will be moderating. The thing that I am most proud of is that I was surrounded with alcohol and still didn't drink (my sister-in-law drinks wine and I was staying with her for 3 nights) I just told her that I wasn't drinking. She was supportive and said that she would hide it if I wished. I then discussed a little of the TSM with her. The only time it presented a problem was when we went to happy hour and everyone sitting next to me had mouth-watering margaritas. I took a sip and just kept telling myself that the sparkling water was just fine. Besides, the sober nephew that I confessed my sins to was a couple of seats away from me and I was the designated driver.

On Saturday night I had made the decision to take 25mgs of Nal and then have a glass of wine with dinner. The dinner went well as I drank 9 oz of red wine with my meal and had a nice warm buzz going. I wanted more afterwards and went to the grocery store to buy a 3 serving box of Chard. They only had warm riesling so I talked myself into a bottle. I drank about 2 oz. It didn't taste right so I ordered a glass of a different brand from room service. I took two sips of it and it didn't taste so good either. I dumped all of it and went to bed feeling pretty sloshed. The next thing I know I wake up at 5 am feeling pretty damn ill. I'm not sure if it was because I had been 8 days AF or that I might have been dehydrated. I ended up drinking a 32 oz bottle of water within an hour of waking up. I took some ibuprofen and a B vitamin chew which made me feel somewhat human. Now I am on day three of another AF week with perhaps another planned drinking day on Friday or Saturday. Keep on keeping on! Keek