Hi
I am in the UK and my husband is an alcoholic. He is being trying recovery: conselling, AA and medication for the past 18 months.
For the past 8 months he has been working the 12 steps of AA with a mentor and taking campral. This has helped him a bit. From drinking around 60-70Uk units over 4 days a week to 30-40 Uk units over twice a week.
I have been reading the forum for the past couple of months and finally we persuaded our local GP to prescribe naltrexone. He has been taking it for a week. The first 3 days 25mg and now 50mg.
Last year he lost his job for drinking at work and he was fortunate enough to find another one a few months later. 6 months into in and today he has been suspended for the same reason and he will be sacked most probably next week.
I am still confident about the sinclair method and supporting him but I am burnt out. We have two little girls and I do not want him drinking at home with them. We are considering for him to move to Germany with her family for a few months and see what happens. I do not know what is best. The girls will miss him, me too. I do not want to punish him but I do not now if I can carry on and maybe it is better for both some space and time. If he stays I think maybe I am enabling him and in a year time we will be in the same situation. If he goes, maybe that is the end and we will never be back together as a family.

I am on my own. My family is abroad and does not know anything about his problem and I do not have many people to confine into. Please any comments or advise would be most welcome.

Tricky situation to contend with, especially with the girls involved.

From a medication point of view, Campral combined with naltrexone would be a good combination; campral to assist in maintaining abstinence and naltrexone to limit amount consumed when binging. Campral needs at least 3 months before it can be considered to have been tried. I'm more enthusiastic about Campral than naltrexone because Campral happened to help me a lot and naltrexone at that time didn't....however this is my experience and others will have different and I'm done arguing with people.

From a motivational point of view, I've sometimes found AA helpful but I have found Rational Recovery much more helpful. I would recommend it highly but beware, its a no-nonsense approach, and it won't paint your husband in the best light- it puts the burden of responsibility in his hands and will basically make the argument that your husband is just being self-indulgent and selfish. Make of that what you will.

From a personal point of view, I can only sympathise, its tough. Its up to you how you view your husband- you can see it as him being the victim of a biological affliction or you can see it as him being an ass or maybe a bit of both. You have to be pragmatic though, and you can't have a functional family that has an actively drinking alcoholic, that would be absurd. You didn't sign up for this!

Summary: I'd recommend (if it were say, my brother was the alcoholic and his wife I was advising) Campral + Naltrexone + Abstinence+ Psychiatric review + Rational Recovery + ?zero tolerence

Best Wishes

Thank you spacious for your comments.
I have read your other post on the board and I think you have made very valid contributions.I am aware that the sinclair method does not work for everybody. He has been taking campral for eight months and although it has helped with the cravings he still drinks although less. He is still getting sacked for drinking at work tough.

Abstinence we tried for the past 18 months and he is unable. I agree he needs psychiatric help as only with medication I do not think it will work out. It is always me trying to find solutions. I do not think he has touched rock bottom yet.

I talked to a friend who thinks that is a good idea he goes to his family in Germany as he does not have a support network here. He lost his friends due to alcohol. Maybe in 15 days he is back begging me to take him and I do not want that I want him to recover.

This evening I am meeting with a couple of very supportive friends to try to work out the possibilities and the pros and cons.

Hi there, kesita. I've lost a job due to my problem with drinking as well. In my case, I never drank at work, but I had absents there and that made me quit the job. Nowadays I'm at another job, thank god.

Sorry to hear about the problems your family is facing at the moment. I just wanted to remind you that the Sinclair Method takes months to become effective. In my own case, I didn't feel ANY diminishment in my binges before two months of continuous use of Naltrexone with TSM. So, don't expect "daddy" will get rid of this terrible disease in a few weeks.

Maybe he has already traveled to German, maybe he's still with you and the girls. But whatever the case is, try to understand that the medicine will take some time (months) to start showing significant effects.

I wish you the best, and please let us know what has happened to you guys.

Hi
Just an update. Husband did not go to Germany, he spent a week in hospital and when he came out he started to take antabuse and continued taking campral.
It is now four months sober. I just hope he continues sober. It is the first time he manages this long. Before he did not manage more than three weeks tops so I am optimistic although it is still early days. I can not wait to six months and then hopefully a year. I do not know what is the difference this time. Maybe he achieved his rock bottom. The antabuse helped him a lot the first weeks. It took out the possibility of drinking and it seems as his brain knew he could not drink he did not have strong cravings. He is very organised with his pills, he prepares the morning ones before going to bed. He continues working the steps in AA with a mentor and he seems very committed to recovery and working his "inner turmoil". He will continue with medication a few more months and then see what happens. What he does now works for him so he wants to continue. He looks healthier, he is much more fit physically. He cycles for an hour a day. He says that mentally and he is not there yet. He can see that his memory is not what it was due to years of drinking.

When I first posted the situation was so bad that we could not wait 6-9 months to see any progress with naltroxane (he only took it for a month). We are trying to get our life back together, just having a bit of peace really. He started a new job a month ago and he is much calmer. My anxiety levels are much lower although having said that last night I dreamt he was back drinking and woke up crying in the middle of the night. But in general I am much happier and less of a nervous reck.

I will keep you posted of his progress.( fingers crossed)

Kesita

I'm glad to know about you guys, kesita. IF it becomes necessary, please let him try the Sinclair method. Best regards!