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 Post subject: Re: Bob's Weekly Progress
PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2009 6:39 am 
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Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:40 pm
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Location: Florida
I was concerned yesterday, because I had 6½ beers in the house and since I got home early, I took my Nal at 1PM. So, I began drinking at 2PM and it didn't take much computation to figure out I'd run out before bedtime.

What to do? Well, I decided to stay home and just see what would happen. By 6PM, 4½ beers were consumed; I had gotten engrossed in another project which kept my focus most of the afternoon, which took my attention away from drinking. Now there were only 2 beers remaining for the rest of the night!

After supper, I got another beer to drink and nursed that until I fell asleep on the couch. I never got to that last beer. This is different behavior than pre-Sinclair. I would drink everything in the house in those days.

So even though my drinking levels are higher on Nal, and I have the benzos weighing me down, my drinking pattern is different at 9 weeks in.

Bob

_________________
Code:
Pre-TSM~54u/Wk
Wk1-52:40,42,39,28,33,33,43,40,36,30,34,30,30║30,38,13,25,4,22,12,6,9,5,9,3,5║6,6,5,4,9,6,0,9,2,2,5,4,4║3,4,5,3,4,2,6,2,6,4,8,2,2u
W53-91: 4, 2, 2, 2, 3, 2, 1, 5, 4,17, 0, 0, 0║ 3, 0, 3, 0,3, 0, 2,0,0,0,0,0,0║0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,0u
"Cured" @ Week 21 (5 Months),         Current Week: 97  (23rd Month)


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 Post subject: Re: Bob's Weekly Progress
PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2009 7:29 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 09, 2009 2:10 pm
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Location: Chicago, IL
Bob - what a great end to your somewhat rocky week - that's the nal working through the benzos for sure.

Very happy for you - keep at it!


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 Post subject: Re: Bob's Weekly Progress
PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2009 11:07 am 
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Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:40 pm
Posts: 962
Location: Florida
Thanks, folks for your observations and encouragement.

I was so frustrated and impatient this past week. My wife feels that way too, which doesn't help. Even those who are closest to us, often ask what the heck are we doing and why isn't this method having any effect? Patience, we answer; and sometimes the slow changes that we see are not enough for us to remain patient ourselves. Self-doubt creeps in and we all know how that feels.

Anyway, another month and I'll probably be exactly where I am now and even more frustrated. I just have to focus on the definite changes I am seeing.

Bob

_________________
Code:
Pre-TSM~54u/Wk
Wk1-52:40,42,39,28,33,33,43,40,36,30,34,30,30║30,38,13,25,4,22,12,6,9,5,9,3,5║6,6,5,4,9,6,0,9,2,2,5,4,4║3,4,5,3,4,2,6,2,6,4,8,2,2u
W53-91: 4, 2, 2, 2, 3, 2, 1, 5, 4,17, 0, 0, 0║ 3, 0, 3, 0,3, 0, 2,0,0,0,0,0,0║0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,0u
"Cured" @ Week 21 (5 Months),         Current Week: 97  (23rd Month)


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 Post subject: Re: Bob's Weekly Progress
PostPosted: Sat May 16, 2009 11:38 am 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 4:58 pm
Posts: 557
Location: European Country
with you again bob! I awoke yesterday with still a hangover from Wednesday's drinking, and although I "nursed" myself on Thursday with wine, it did not appeal to me. On Friday morning I awoke and realized I only had two bottles of vino left and started to think of what to do to replenish the supply for the weekend.

But on Friday I just did not "feel" like drinking, and wine sounded very "sour" to me. I did drink about two small glasses in my 24/7 period.

Now it's Sat am and I am up and not drinking! This is GREAT!

Oh, I do so hope I have turned a corner. Let's keep going....we are not there yet.

_________________
Previous units :
100 -140- for years trying to limit

TSM since Feb 09
60-70 Units
AF Oct 22, 23, 24, 25, 26
week 33- 5 units!
week 34 -20 units
Nov 2 AF
week 44 (?) 60-70
One year later Not Cured. But able to limit my units somewhat better.


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 Post subject: Re: Bob's Weekly Progress
PostPosted: Mon May 18, 2009 3:32 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:40 pm
Posts: 962
Location: Florida
Monday...

I thought about the past week. Every single morning I wanted to go for an AF day, after the successful 2 days of AF days last Sunday/Monday. As soon as I started drinking (1 hour or more after Nal of course), I went right back to my 6 beers per evening habit/addiction. The only difference was that, usually after 3 or 4 units, there was a lull where I could have stopped if I had invoked a bit of willpower. Anyway, that never happened, so I drank a 6 pack of Guinness every single night for 6 nights. This week? Who knows? I'll just stick with TSM and continue.

Today, I found something quite disturbing on a website, I stumbled on while googling, that caters to drug addicts who want to maximize the effects of these drugs. Some folks are experimenting with abusing Naltrexone in very small amounts to partially block opiate receptors so that when they take these pain meds and opiates, they won't succumb to receptor tolerance. So, at least one guy was having success with taking less than 1mg Naltrexone and taking Oxycontin daily with the euphoria it creates, and didn't have to increase the dosage for several weeks. The theory he presents is that the micro-doses of Nal squelches the addiction response, so a person can continue to take the addictive substance without having to escalate their dosage. So, I immediately knew where this is going to go... Naltrexone will be subjected to further regulation from the watchful eyes of our mothers... uhh, I mean governments. OTC status seems unlikely now.

Bob

_________________
Code:
Pre-TSM~54u/Wk
Wk1-52:40,42,39,28,33,33,43,40,36,30,34,30,30║30,38,13,25,4,22,12,6,9,5,9,3,5║6,6,5,4,9,6,0,9,2,2,5,4,4║3,4,5,3,4,2,6,2,6,4,8,2,2u
W53-91: 4, 2, 2, 2, 3, 2, 1, 5, 4,17, 0, 0, 0║ 3, 0, 3, 0,3, 0, 2,0,0,0,0,0,0║0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,0u
"Cured" @ Week 21 (5 Months),         Current Week: 97  (23rd Month)


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 Post subject: Re: Bob's Weekly Progress
PostPosted: Mon May 18, 2009 9:31 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:02 pm
Posts: 345
Bob, I find this very disturbing. If i recall my neuro molecular cell biology this may result in some serious brain damage to these people after the long term. I think the substances have different effects than alcohol and the pills contain other ingredients besides just the opiates. I think that is going to build a shitstorm in the brain. It reminds me of the several friends I have had that mixed al with tons of antidepressants and every other pill they could get their hands on. After a few years of this they all "passed on". One recently. In my experience the more a person throws into themselves at once, the more the body has to deal with and eventually it's a terrible result. As much as possible I try to keep things to a very minimum. The healthiest patients I had were the ones on the least amount of meds and I say this after 20 years of experience. If a person needs it, fine, but keep it as simple as possible. It is just what I have seen. Hope you are doing well and I wish you all the best. :)
I went through a really bad time 11 years ago on perscription drugs. I was taking around 13 different ones at once and had to go to a hospital in the end to get "cleaned out". Long story. I was 100 pounds and almost incoherent by the time I went in. This all came to a head after 6 years of abuse ( of the drugs). I have been clean of all that stuff except Nal now for over 10 years and feel awesome but it took tons of work. I had to learn how to eat again and everything. So I am a bit biased. Both from my old job and my personal experience and loss of friends. Cheers. Doing awesome now. Sorry for the long post.


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 Post subject: Re: Bob's Weekly Progress
PostPosted: Thu May 21, 2009 1:58 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:40 pm
Posts: 962
Location: Florida
Well, I began the week with my usual 6 pack a night drinking regimen, the decided to take an AF day on Wednesday. It was delightful! I can't wait until I have a whole lot more of them. I thought this morning I would continue AF days through the weekend, but then thought better of it, since extinction will be stalled. So, I will be drinking this evening. Tomorrow, I think I'll do another AF day, then drink Saturday, than an AF day on Sunday; in other words alternate days. I don't plan on making that a pattern indefinitely, but the AF days are just so uplifting and make me happy. Also, I've never done alternate drinking/non-drinking days ever. I have never been capable of doing so. Perhaps I am strong enough now to push the dying cravings down every other day.

We'll see. It kinda breaks up the treatment monotony.

Bob

_________________
Code:
Pre-TSM~54u/Wk
Wk1-52:40,42,39,28,33,33,43,40,36,30,34,30,30║30,38,13,25,4,22,12,6,9,5,9,3,5║6,6,5,4,9,6,0,9,2,2,5,4,4║3,4,5,3,4,2,6,2,6,4,8,2,2u
W53-91: 4, 2, 2, 2, 3, 2, 1, 5, 4,17, 0, 0, 0║ 3, 0, 3, 0,3, 0, 2,0,0,0,0,0,0║0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,0u
"Cured" @ Week 21 (5 Months),         Current Week: 97  (23rd Month)


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 Post subject: Re: Bob's Weekly Progress
PostPosted: Fri May 22, 2009 3:53 pm 
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Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:02 pm
Posts: 345
Sounds great Bob. I hope the good stuff keeps coming!


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 Post subject: Re: Bob's Weekly Progress
PostPosted: Sat May 23, 2009 8:17 am 
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Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:40 pm
Posts: 962
Location: Florida
WTE, potato: "The best laid plans of mice and men oft go awry" - Steinbeck.

Well, no AF day yesterday. That "needy" feeling (that someone posted recently) regarding cravings hit me before I left work. I bought Guinness, got home, took Nal, waited 80 minutes and drank "only" 4 units, before I fell asleep. When I awoke at 9PM, I didn't want any more. I see an obvious pattern here; when I nap/sleep, I have no cravings for alcohol, after I have already had alcohol. I need to further test this hypothesis; If a nap, after getting home from work, will I have cravings? I will try that next week.

This morning, I am working on extinguishing the "day-off-so-I'll-drink-early" habit. I took today's Nal at 8:30AM and started drinking after an hour. I have had 1½ units at the time of this posting. I feel "society's shame" regarding morning drinking right now, but this is still a behavior I must extinguish.

At this point, I do not know how the rest of the day will go. Likely, I will nap after lunch. Since sleep often kills my cravings, I wonder if I will drink at all this evening. We will see. It's a day for experimenting with killing the demon.

Bob

_________________
Code:
Pre-TSM~54u/Wk
Wk1-52:40,42,39,28,33,33,43,40,36,30,34,30,30║30,38,13,25,4,22,12,6,9,5,9,3,5║6,6,5,4,9,6,0,9,2,2,5,4,4║3,4,5,3,4,2,6,2,6,4,8,2,2u
W53-91: 4, 2, 2, 2, 3, 2, 1, 5, 4,17, 0, 0, 0║ 3, 0, 3, 0,3, 0, 2,0,0,0,0,0,0║0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,0u
"Cured" @ Week 21 (5 Months),         Current Week: 97  (23rd Month)


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 Post subject: Re: Bob's Weekly Progress
PostPosted: Sun May 24, 2009 6:10 am 
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Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:40 pm
Posts: 962
Location: Florida
WTE, I too wonder if others have a similar response. And I wonder how much of it is the Nal, too. Often, I make drinking plans, take my Nal, then an hour later, I don't feel like drinking. I have read that others have this experience also. But, if we're doing TSM, we know we have to have a drink for extinguishing to continue. I can see why Nal was approved as an alcohol craving inhibitor.

Well, yesterday, I continued drinking through lunch until I had run out by 3:30 or so, after 8 units. I had a nap sometime in the afternoon and I awoke with no craving whatsoever. So the rest of the afternoon and evening were spent in that droopy state you get in after you drink and stop, then stay awake for hours afterward. I had a bad night's sleep, but still awoke refreshed.

I'm not making any plans for today. I'll just free-wheel and see where my emotions take me.

Bob

_________________
Code:
Pre-TSM~54u/Wk
Wk1-52:40,42,39,28,33,33,43,40,36,30,34,30,30║30,38,13,25,4,22,12,6,9,5,9,3,5║6,6,5,4,9,6,0,9,2,2,5,4,4║3,4,5,3,4,2,6,2,6,4,8,2,2u
W53-91: 4, 2, 2, 2, 3, 2, 1, 5, 4,17, 0, 0, 0║ 3, 0, 3, 0,3, 0, 2,0,0,0,0,0,0║0,0,0,2,0,2,0,0,3,0,0,2,0u
"Cured" @ Week 21 (5 Months),         Current Week: 97  (23rd Month)


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