I don't know that it'll be helpful to you, but technically I'm now on my second NAL effort. The first time was in the middle of my boozing, and before I had heard of TSM. I took a NAL every morning for about six months, then just went about my boozing, "outdrinking the NAL" as you've phrased it. Truth for me was that at that point I hadn't REALLY decided I needed to fix myself. It took a couple more major blowups with my wife, and continuing physical consequences, before I really signed on to the idea of sobriety as I understand it. First I did five months AF with quite a lot of AA* and a little SOS, and worked hard to not reject EVERYTHING they had to say because of the various things about their program I couldn't/wouldn't accept. Now I've started TSM, cautiously working my way from zero up to only a few drinks, occasionally. Three weeks in, it's going okay; hope I'm still saying that a year from now.

(*BTW, at that point I had been nibbling around the edges of AA for about seven years with no real success; it was only after I committed to fixing myself that I was able to filter out my objections to AA and absorb some of the good stuff. It's there, just too bad they have to cloak it in all those things that so many like me consider to be show-stoppers.)

But as I've posted elsewhere here, my belief is that it ain't just about endorphins. The science is very convincing that that's an important factor, and that TSM can fix it if I do it right. But buried among all that AA mysticism I recognized the vitally important idea that I also have to fix the way I handle my day-to-day problems, because drinking them to death was definitely not the answer. As part of my TSM I'm trying to stay hyper-aware of any bad feelings, avoid any drinking at all on days when they're present, and examine them really closely for less destructive ways to handle them. WHY do I feel that way? Who did what to cause it? Is it really as bad as I imagine, or am I blowing it out of proportion? Is it really that person's fault, or did I do something to bring it on myself? Is it something within my power to fix? And even if it is, Am ***I*** responsible for fixing it? Who says so, besides me? You get the idea, I hope; my inability to deal with certain of my feelings led me to the simple "solution" of drinking, and if I'm not going to do that any more, I have to find a better way or my head might explode. Sometimes I actually find a workable solution for a bad situation, other times just the process and the time it takes allows some of the negative energy to bleed off so I can declare an AF day or two before taking my next NAL.

Don't know if any of that will strike a chord with you, but if nothing else it sure helps me just to write it down. Good luck on your TSM journey, hope you and I will be high-fiving each other somewhere down the road.

Hey Skylar,

Don't get down on yourself. I know how easy that is. When I'm feeling like that I'll read a post from somone who has a lot more time in than me & it makes me feel better. I did 40 units this week and feel kind of proud. We'll see what happens next week.


btw
I noticed that a lot of people have their unit history on all their post. How do I do that. I've just been going in weekly progress and spelling it out week to week. Can you help me out with this?

Thanks

JC

Hey, Skylar and all,

Hope you don't mind me jumping in here, but as is often the case, reading posts can be therapeutic and I always read things that sound like I wrote them....so many common experiences.

I am also on my third time trying TSM. I started on 9 April 2012. I have been keeping a drinking log ever since I started the first time (even when I wasn't taking the Nal) so that part is ingrained. There have been a few lapses, but I just posted on Poinks thread that this time I've been more diligent about compiling the numbers into a spreadsheet/chart. I didn't do that the first two times and it very well could be that there was some slight downward trend that I just wasn't noticing, so I gave up. I think the longest I lasted was 5 months. I haven't seen any recently, but I remember reading posts that suggested that because Eskapa's book says something about possibly seeing results in as little as 3 months, we get that number stuck in our heads. With little or no progress after 5 months, I figured I must be one of the 20% or so, for whom this wouldn't work. Then you jump on the board and read people's posts that repeat the mantra: "hang in there." This time I'm committed to seeing it through.

I am apparently one of the lucky ones. I have never had any side effects from the Nal; at least not nausea. Any other "side effects" I might have are easily attributed to drinking too damn much. I take 50 mg in the afternoon (usually). Some days, I'm watching the clock for the hour to be up, so I can crack open the first beer, or pour the first drink. I have a reminder on my calendar at 7pm to take a second one. So I'm at 100mg/day. My doctor willingly wrote the 'script and knows I'm using TSM, but quite frankly, I don't think he knows anything about it other than what I've told him, and I have yet to find any MD/counselor/therapist that knows the first thing about it. In fact, when I was looking for one, and described the protocol, they gave me attitude. It's mystifying to me that any professional in the addictions field would turn their nose up at something that has such promise.

Keep slogging away. Write it all down. The best we can hope for is a long-term downward trend towards (fill in the blank....zero, control, indifference. Everybody seems to end up in a different, albeit better place).

Cheers,

NJ


JC,

To add your numbers at the bottom of your posts, go to the User Control Panel. There is a button in the upper-right corner of the board. There you click Profile (or edit profile) and then Signatures. Its something like that. I'm sure you'll find it. Then when you post, make sure the check box at the bottom that says "Attach a signature" is checked.

Thank you for the words of encouragement jconley and TSMINNJ.

You're absolutely right ellpee, it's not just the endorphins. The Sinclair Method is working for me, I can say that for sure now. A small example is that I don't like to go to brewpubs any more; that used to be my absolute favorite way to spend a day. Go get some food and spend $5/beer. I can't fathom spending $5 on a beer, brewpubs are not fun anymore. This is a small but significant indicator to me that The Sinclair Method is working for me. Something I hoped for before because the book says that those with a sweet tooth find the best success. In the past, when I've tried to quit cold turkey, I develop a craving for sugar that almost rivals my craving for alcohol, perhaps even near equal except that I can indulge my sugar craving.

But AF days elude me. Because as ellpee says, it's not all endorphins. I self medicate too. I need to work on that and am going back to my psych for anti-anxiety meds.

If The Sinclair Method is taking a long time to work for you, try to rate how sweet your tooth is.

I've managed 2 AF days so far this week. Woot. Of course, my biggest trigger hasn't been around this week. We'll see how it goes next week.

I'm starting to learn about the rollarcoaster of Nal. Up and down. Up and down.

I've also been experiencing unexpected side effects. I'm angrier as a person (more than usual anyways). And I'm starting to get panic attacks, usually triggered by being in open spaces. It's weird.

Glad to read you're sticking it out. I'm in week 7 now, noticing my units creeping up; last week was 16 units, well beyond the 10 I pencilled in as my goal at the beginning of TSM. Did have 2 AF though. As you can read in my progress thread, my main problem has been getting a thrill out of pouring doubles or sneaking an extra chug without telling wifey; something in my head is still hanging on to that "I'll show you!" attitude, even though there's no reason to feel that way. Wife is fully on board, would (I think) be okay if I was up front about it. Not directly relevant to your story, but just reinforces my half NAL - half head work approach to maintaining control and sobriety.

A good sign, I hope, is that after a four-unit cocktail Saturday I was completely disinterested in AL on Sunday and again today. When I think of the selection of good booze available right here at home, nothing appeals to me at the moment, something of a first. AND, though Sneaky Ellpee is still there in my head, it's now been over six months since I felt a really strong urge to buy a bottle when I'm running around on my own. That used to be my daily pattern -- come up with any excuse to get out of the house, and presto, next stop Walgreen's liquor counter. Never again ... I sincerely hope.

Good luck to you on the head work, seems like you've got the hang of the NAL part.

Week 1: 3u, 4 AF, avg. on 3 drinking days 1u
Week 2: 11.5u, 1 AF, avg. on 6 drinking days 2u (high 4u)
Week 3: 9u, 3 AF, avg on 4 drinking days 3u (high 4u)
Week 4: 11.5u, 3 AF, avg on 4 drinking days 3u (high 4u)
Week 5: 12u, 5af, avg on 2 drinking days 4u (high 5u)
Week 6: 16u, 2AF, avg on 5 drinking days 3u (high 4u)
Week 7: 0, ...

Sounds like you're making great progress, ellpee.

My rollercoaster is still rolling though I continue to not drink as much. I honestly don't think I can, I get drunk faster and the hangovers hurt more. AF days continue to allude.

An unexpected but happy consequence of this journey is that I'm eating less; I take a Nal when I get home and then eat dinner and I think that's had an affect on my relationship with food. I wasn't big on food until my early 30's (I was practically anorexic when I was in my late teens and early 20's) when I believe I started using it as an escape as well; at 5'7", I topped out at 182lbs. I think Nal has taken some of the thrill I learned from gorging on food away. I've lost weight, I haven't been this weight since, well, my early 30's. My blood pressure is better and I'll bet my cholesterol has improved as well.

Marching onward.

Hi again. I'm still hanging in there, glad to see you are too. Know what you mean about weight/BP. I'm not quite 5'9", and my boozing took me from around 185 up to a staggering 232 at one point. Started total AF in December, then TSM in mid-May, and just saw a 197 on the scale this morning. What a great feeling! BP went nuts too in the late 90's and I've been on two meds for it ever since, but in the last six months I've notice it is back to normal, avg. 130 over 80, even in the morning BEFORE I take the meds. So I'm hopeful maybe I can get off them soon, another great side benefit of getting a handle on the booze monster. Add those to the every-day benefit of waking up with no regrets and it's certainly well worth it.

As far as my TSM progress, pretty good -- averaging 4u per session with at least a couple AF each week. Still some weird head stuff to work on -- see my progress thread -- but life's pretty good overall. No strong cravings, although I was in the liquor department a couple days ago checking whether they had any decent German wines, and saw a lot of my old friends on the shelves -- you know, the ones where you can get seriously drunk for under ten bucks! Actually felt a little twinge of the old buy-a-bottle-and-drink-it-in-the-car urge, but had no problem at all reminding myself that that would be a very dumb, pointless thing to do.

Week 1: 3u, 4 AF, avg. on 3 drinking days 1u
Week 2: 11.5u, 1 AF, avg. on 6 drinking days 2u (high 4u)
Week 3: 9u, 3 AF, avg on 4 drinking days 3u (high 4u)
Week 4: 11.5u, 3 AF, avg on 4 drinking days 3u (high 4u)
Week 5: 12u, 5af, avg on 3 drinking days 4u (high 5u)
Week 6: 16u, 2AF, avg on 5 drinking days 3u (high 4u)
Week 7: 5.5u, 5AF, avg. on 2 drinking days 3u (high 4u)
Week 8: 11.5u, 3 AF, avg. on 4 drinking days 3u (high 3u)
Week 9: 14.5u, 2 AF, avg. on 5 drinking days 3u (high 4u)
Week 10: 0, 2.5, 0, 0, 2.5, ……

Over 6 months. Still drinking daily. Sometimes more, sometimes less. Still drink all day on the weekends. Could it be this isn't working?