Thanks for your reply Revert, you make me feel less insane! I am under tremendouse stress professionally and personally, makes it hard to take on this battle. I plan on doing 50 mg in the a.m and 50 late afternoon. I'll post those results. That's what my therapist originally suggested even tho he doesn't know TSM, however he is intrigued now and supports my method of choice. He thought Nal alone would defer my craving, but understands my choice of process of extinction. Thx for your reply, means the world to me.

Thats really great you have the supportive therapist, and that he is open minded about learning about TSM. That should go a long ways in making up for the lack of support @ home. Plus you can count on your pals here on the Forum, who REALLY know the score and what we're all going through. Yes, TSM can be quite a long haul but the statistics say our odds of success are very, very high which is motivating to remember when feeling discouraged. 50 2x's/day sounds like a good solution...fortunately, Nal seems to be a safe drug (aside from the SE's). Nal on!

Great news, PJB that you are feeling more positive. And you're right, the support we all find here is so wonderful...especially those who don't get it at home. I know my DH would want to help but he's too into his own thing to be with me over a longer time...he forgets after a few days and things just go on.

But I've been doing more reading in the Q and A section, about what this process is all about, how extinction really works, and how addiction has nothing to do with anything else that's going on in our lives - even though addiction, and unhappiness/stress may all be going on at the same time. This makes me personally feel better. I'm just an addict!!! I'm not an addict because I'm crazy, or stressed, or unhappy - these things might be in my life even if I had never taken a drink.

So this frees us up to deal with the drinking. What comes after that is whatever it takes to "fix" other stuff.

PJB you are luck enough to be working with a therapist - so you can work on a two-pronged approach. And how fortunate that he is beginning to understand that extinction is a separate process from your other "work." Have a great week coming up and look forward to hearing more from you.

And Chrissie you're right about naltrexone being safe. Dr. Eskapa says it's safe and non-addictive even at higher doses than we would ever consider.

Hi All,

Well today starts my week at entering month four. I've have doubled up on my Nal, 50 in a.m. and 50 before I leave office. It seems to have helped. I'm happy to report I'm not drinking a drink every morning before work, and have replaced that with working out more to prepare for a couple of 8K runs I have signed up for. Interesting, the first day I doubled up about 4 days ago, I had not drank all day and took my second nal before I left the office. I went home and decided to have some wine before my boyfriend gets home ( I usually have a good hour window each day). Normally, I do as my therapist says and no longer hide my drinking from him even when he can do the math with the morning drinking. However, given his reaction to my progress at this point, and the continual monitoring and controlling, I decided to "sneek" again. I don't like that because it SCREAMS alcoholic behavior. I would must rather just put it all out there, the good and the bad. Nevertheless, I proceeded to drink about 2 1/2 to 3 glasses of wine and my body said no way. I vomited up all the wine, my body just simply wouldn't accept it. I never vomit, ever so I was shocked but was in acceptance. Kind of felt a confirmation that double nal is better for me. I liked that I got it out of my system. Later that evening after dinner, I did drink three beers over the course of about 4 hours. I'm just happy that I am obtaining my first goal and that was to stop morning drinking. Additionally, when the weekends come, I'm even able to wait till noonish to start my weekend drinking which I try and pace but usually end up with an average of 8 -10 drinks throughout the day and night. My units have crept up just a bit, but to me that far out weighs the diminished daily morning drinking and the delayed morning weekend drinking. Thanks for reading, chat soon and hope all are doing well.

P.

Question for the group. I had just posted and then was reading some recent posts and given the combined input from folks on the forum, I now have a BIG question. As Iv posted in the past, I'm a daily drinker and morning drinker (1 or 2 beers or wine). Please read my last post to see where I'm at. Prior to me now doubling my Nal daily, I used to take Nal at about 5:30 a.m. have a couple and get ready to drink. I was under the assumption that Nal continues to be in my system, so that's why I would just start drinking my 3-4 drinks after work. Am I incorrect in that the Nal is not supportive for a 24 hour period? If that is the case, it might explain why progress isn't outstanding or at least could be better. Now I'm afraid I might have been doing the method incorrectly for these nearly four months. Ouch, scary, can anyone advise with your thoughts.

Thanks P.

So glad to hear that something has kicked in for you regarding the morning drinking. If you feel it's because you have begun to add another dose of naltrexone to your system that's a good thing.

As for your question. I'm not as conversant with all the details as others and they will chime in - but from my limited understanding you are covered for 24 hours with one dose - HOWEVER as the amount of coverage would diminish towards the end of that time it does make sense to me at least that a second dose would be better than starting to drink near the end of that coverage.

So IMHO it's a good thing to double up if you drink at both ends of coverage. And as a matter of fact some of the older-timers found they had greater control at 100 mg than at 50 mg - that they were able to feel a boost forward with the higher dose. Why don't you continue and see if this new control holds?

And don't worry about the sneaking. Don't forget you would not be doing that if your friend was a little more patient and understanding. You would just go ahead and have a drink when you wanted one. So your sneaky behaviour is really you just trying to protect yourself from the hassle you'd get if you were more upfront. Be kind to yourself and let naltrexone do its job - if you are patient with yourself, and try to stay calm and peaceful maybe your friend will pick up on that and follow your example. If you are constantly being pushed into panic mode it can't be going you any good.

Thanks for the response Revert, I do feel 100 is best for me at this point, and I don't have any side effects whatsoever. Yesterday, before I left the office I took my second dose, and got home around 4:00. I was cleaning the house and doing laundry, and since my boyfriend was having a beer, I decided to have one as well. Normally that would last no more than 10-15 mnts. I only drank half and put it back in the fridge. About an hour later, when I was almost done and decided to take a break and finish the beer, I told my boyfriend "in case you are wondering, this is still my first beer," he responded "I didn't say anything." I told him thanks, and that since he doesn't go on this forum as far as I know, that he would see my progress has improved at this nearly four month point. I have also cut down significantly on smoking, because smoking and drinking go hand in hand for me. This has been great since I'm a runner and like to stay fit. I'm happy with where I'm currently at. Finally, thanks for your input about the hiding and guilt. You are correct it is self protection and guilt and shame can be very destructive and throw you in a tailspin. My therapist works diligently with me on that subject, and has told my boyfriend, and me to never hide the drinking because it's simply immature and the outcome for me destroys my self esteem. I will continue on the new dosage, and hopefully my units we decrease further at which point hopefully my boyfriend will see that the process may be slow but in fact works.

Naling it up!

P.

ok, time to step it up! Thought after a heart fetlt card and conversation I would gain the support I have desired. Tonight I had to go to a dinner party for one of my boyfriends bosses. I ran around since 5:30 this morning, taking care of dogs, worked out, went to work and then major juggling financially for my lawfirm. Came home, on my second round of Nal and needed to become the beautiful girl on his arm (after taking care of the perfect gift to bring to his bosses new Mansion on the water) woopdeedoo not so much. Went to the party, I socialized well, wow they were even serving my favorite wine. Later there was even finer wine served, but it tasted like ****. Nevertheless, I drank a couple. Came home and all hell broke loose again about TSM. I asked that he log on to the forum, read my posts and others and it was met with complete resistence. I finally said, if you are not in this with me please leave, it will be better for my progress, I dont know how long it will take. I simply asked if he really did his research on TSM and the forum and he said he refused to go on an online forum of drunks looking for reasons to continue to drink. I told him, PLEASE look at my stat and please look at my string of posts and those of others. He is simply stubborn and I said do your really think AA is better, I'v tried that, hated it and the rate of success is 10%. Nevertheles, big fight, and I cant do it anymore, Iv asked that he move out because he is a hinderane to my success. It will be hard but, I have one goal in mind, its not running record time in races, running a succeseful business, it's to get my alcoholism under control. Im a beautiful, intelligent and beyond giving person and unfortuntately an alcoholic. This is my path, you all are my strenghth. Isnt that weird, a world of people that I dont even know I feel closer too. He agrees AA is a joke, so I say why cant you trust me in this method and participate in this process, and truley Im alcohoic forever, but have been beyond sucessful. Why cant I just get support where needed most. Thats why im done. soory for the typos, just trying to get it all out. Please gain me strenghth to depart from a relationship that i KNOW will never have the same goal, that being my life.
P.

I'm sorry PJB that your life is filled with such turmoil!! But you are right in that maybe some peace in your home with help you. It's hard to stick to a new method of reducing/quitting drinking when you have this negative reaction from your friend.

It's hard to understand why he won't even log on to TSM and see what it's really all about but there are many husbands and SOs that are not interested is this because it DOES seem like an excuse to drink. Especially SOs that have been through the heavy drinking/bad consequences times with us.

But look at it this way, if he loves you but just doesn't get it, when you have true control you can show him that - and you may be able to resume your relationship with a new outlook.

We are not strangers to you because we are all in the same boat and we have the same feelings and struggles - that does create a bond. You have our full support here in your quest to control your drinking and improve your life!!!

Thanks Revert, its been a bad morning since he left for work at 4:30 yet another dragged out screaming match as he left and then driving to his work. I simply stated that I will not continue to be with him or anyone that is unwilling to support my choice for recovery. He just thinks I can simply quit at any time and pick up and be a normie. I'm not there yet even though Iv improved. It doest matter. These battles are killing me. Yes as you say we admit we are addicts, but more importantly diligently trying to work on an obvious issue. He continually uses the fact that I drink as the sole problem to our relationship, when in truth it is not. He has anger issues and even thou Im alcoholic, I still remain the breadwinner, provide for a beautiful lifestyle and carry the financial load. I intend on simplifying my life by selling my yahct and living a life on my own until Iv reached my goal of be on the cured list. The worse part for me is that yes, I drink daily, but not so much that it impacts my health, career or all my many personal responsibilities. Can't a girl get a break here for GOD's sake! Oh such is life, nobody said it would be easy.