The freelance life is difficult indeed. Though times are hard, EL, I'm glad the boozing is leveling out.

EL, I've been freelance almost all of my working career, and it has been a mixed bag. The first 10 years were fat city, but technology and the economy can change things quickly, and in every which direction (good & bad). I'm getting towards the end of my career and in looking back recently I realized I would have probably been better off financially if I'd stayed w/ the large corporation where I learned my craft. HOWEVER...I have loved the freedom, and would do it all over again!!! It's very rewarding, being entirely responsible for yourself. But there are other factors - such as raising a family - and kids were never on my "to do" list...that can be hard w/ the freelance life. Also, health insurance has gotten to be a major, major factor

Sounds like our boy HF has been able to advise you about the finances...I hope so. Incorporating has some benefits, but requires more paperwork, reports, etc.

Hi EL,

Sorry to hear about the tax situation for 2012. It seems like an awful lot of money to pay with an annual salary of 35-40K. Although I'm sure your accountant has looked at all the possible deductions to get you the most tax benefit possible. But it may be worth a second look in the area's of "business use of home" and business expenses on schedule C. Perhaps some things like business mileage or other expenses were overlooked. I've been a freelance accountant for many years and do my own taxes. Its a frustrating experience to be sure. But each year I struggle to find the most deductions from my home office possible. The freedom and flexibility can't be beat, but the tax consequences are a big PIA! If I can help in any way, PM me and I'll try to assist. As for reading posts, hey life gets busy and its amazing that you keep up with TSM like you do. I've been MIA for a couple months. Sorry about that. Anyway, it sounds like the drinking for you has leveled out. Good for you!

Best wishes,

Hi guys, checking in. I'm insanely busy (which is good for business but also depressing when I think about the money I'll have left after taxes....:/ )
Professionally, things are going great. Got a book translation deal, got a running contract with an academic journal, etcetc. More than enough to keep me busy, stimulated and hopefully...fed.
Personally things are -ok-. My boyfriend is away in Russia for a 6.5 week stretch this summer (he's always gone in the summer but this is actually a pretty short trip for him). So I'm doing all right without him - had some bouts of loneliness but mostly just sat with them, watched movies, went to bed early and well...felt lonely. Did not resort to massive amounts of booze at those times.
On the other hand, this is also the summer of 6 yes count them SIX weddings, 4 rehearsal dinners, and 3 bachelorette parties for me. (Fun fact: I am actually missing an additional 3 weddings and 2 rehearsal dinners). This is kind if insanity for drinking. I've made it through 2 weddings and rehearsal dinners so far but things are good. I mean, I drank enough to have a painful hangover the next day, but I managed to a) keep it together on the night of b) not black out or do anything stupid c) have a semi-normal work day when needed the following day. And actually, I enjoyed myself without feeling terribly compulsive about the drinking. The twinge was there for like, 2 minutes at the end of one wedding - it was 2am and I would have totally drank some more - but when I brought the idea of stopping by a bar up jokingly my boyfriend nicely said nope and that was that. Makes me feel like a lot of this drinking is habit.
Bad things (maybe?): I've basically crapped out on remembering to count (and write down) my drinks. So I'm not entirely sure where I'm at. But in all honesty, I feel good and maybe it's ok that I'm taking it a bit less strictly? I went to a 4th of july party yesterday (yes, on the 3rd - I had to work today) and was kind of planning/worrying about drinking (too much) and I ended up having a fine time with like...maybe 3 drinks over the whole evening. Without any self-control imposed. So I'm feeling like maybe I need a looser grip on this TSM process and just let it work its magic.
Other bad thing: it's 100 or more degrees every day for like, two weeks here in NYC so I have literally done NO exercise Outside is just too hot and taking the subway to my gym is.. just too hot. I know, I know...

Sounds like you've been busy in a GOOD way, and just getting back to your regular life. Thank you for describing your various challenges and how you've coped w/ them. It all sounds highly...NORMAL. Six weddings??? Yikes, you've got a wide social circle, and wait 'til they start reproducing! though baby showers are less booze-conducive...

Yep, we are in a similar place, Habit & Rebellion being my biggest obstacles. We can do this, GF...we ARE doing it!

I hear ya' on the heat: this global warming is starting to get on my nerves...

Hi guys, I realize that I'm becoming less and less frequent of a poster here and although I feel bad about that...I think it's a sign of good changes afoot in my life. First of all, still quite busy professionally, without it being TOO overwhelming. Getting a better handle on the financial end of things, though I am also resigned to this year possibly being a tough one. There's always next year I suppose
In good developments: the bf is back, and it's nice to have a partner in (mostly non-boozy) crime. He's a really moderate drinker and we have a ton of shared interests, so it's really a lot easier for me to cut down when he's around. Other good thing: I've decided to do a sprint triathlon in 2013, so I am exercising 5-6 days a week, some usually running and swimming or biking and swimming. (I have yet to bike and run on the same day, I think that is the major challenge). I'm not interested in being competitive at this triathlon, I just really enjoy all three of these sports and I really wanted a goal to focus on that wasn't weight loss or something like that. I'll be THRILLED if I actually finish all three legs of the triathlon in the cut-off times, that's basically my only goal I finally bought a used bike (I'd been terrified of cars when on bikes for years and would only do spin classes and stuff) and it has changed my life. I feel like the whole city has opened up to me. That, and the discovery of a wonderful, FREE, almost EMPTY outdoor pool within a running distance from my house has really made my summer. I feel healthy and happy!!!
Am I still drinking? Yes, and sometimes too much. But here's where I'm at right now. If I exercise consistently, I almost never want to drink. The trick is not drinking too much on my "rest" days - because then I'm hungover the next day AND have to exercise and that's pretty terrible all around, lol. I went for a 7 am run and swim in 95 degree weather the other day on a hangover and I SERIOUSLY thought I was going to toss my cookies on the pavement.
The other thing I've noticed is that most of my over-drinking these days tends to happen at home, alone. I'm not sure what to make of this, but the last two times I've gotten drunk I went out with friends to happy hour, had a reasonable 3 drinks, felt fine, decided to have a fourth and final drink while watching TV at home and bam.! next thing I know it's 1am and I've had like, 4 more drinks instead of the one. I haven't gotten really drunk at the weddings and other big events that are sort of ear-marked as drinking events...it's been randomly being at home chatting on FB or watching TV. Wierd. Don't know what to make of it. The plus side? I am not putting myself in danger, not annoying anyone, and there's little to be embarassed or ashamed of. The down side? Drinking more alone seems more...troublesome to me. I was always a largely social drinker. I dunno. any input folks?
Thanks for being there, as always.
I have pretty much stopped counting drinks and I feel totally fine with that. Off the top of my head I would say that Friday-Wednesday (today) I've had maybe 7-8 drinks so far, and 3 AFs. I'll be drinking with friends tonight but yeah, my weekly totals are definitely in the teens these days.

Hi there, EL - lots of good stuff going on in your post.

Glad to hear that work continues to be busy, and I think the triathalon training is a great way to deter you from overdoing it the night before you exercise. I'm sure you're getting into fantastic shape.


I was intrigued by this statement. You should see what the bike culture was like in Copenhagen! Every single street had two bike lanes (some with their own set of traffic signals), and everyone rode their bikes everywhere...even to/from the bars. I wish the infrastructure of US cities (Portland, OR being the exception) allowed for less intrusive use of bicycles, because I always feel like an *sshole when I'm cursing these well-meaning people while trying to manuever around them in Providence.

You should have no worries about straying from the board. You're evolving as a member, and you've put a ton of time and effort into this place over the past year-plus.


It's like the Mountain Goats say (and I do believe I downloaded this song at your suggestion): "I am gonna make it through this year...if it kills me."

Best of luck to you, EL.

-H

Ok, it's like you read my mind Hesster - i LOVE THAT SONG SO HARD and it was one of my heavy boozing anthems as well....!!
And yes, biking could be better/safer than it is in NYC. I, however, am a ridiculously safe rule-follower, so I feel ok - I only ride on bike lanes, I always stop at red lights, I always stop for pedestrians, etc. Yes, I curse at assholes parked in the bike lane as well but there are a LOT of recreational places in the city that are car-free, suprisingly

Hi El,

Seems like you are in a great place. I totally agree with what you say:

"If I exercise consistently, I almost never want to drink."

It's the old endorphins again!

I'm really pleased for you... but what's happened to the weekly Karaoke? Surely you are still keeping you real passion... right?

Take care,

Andy

hi all,
It seems strange to think that I used to post here all the time, because now I barely post at all I feel kind of bad about this but at the same time I think it's a good sign that I am moving on. I don't think I'm cured, and it's not like my drinking is problem-free, but I've had incident-free drinking since about April (black outs, bad behaviour, etc). However, I just went on a 2.5 week vacation and I must admit that I didn't take nal during that time. It was fine - it was great - I kept the drinking to the levels that everyone else was doing and had a great time, if a few hangovers. Came back to the US and had my 30th birthday party - took nal - disaster. Spent almost all the night puking and/or freaking out. Since then I've been afraid to take nal (seriously guys I puked like 6 times from maybe 4 drinks) and yet I have been drinking....and I see it creeping up again. But I am so afraid of the side effects. They're not as bad as getting drunk and doing something I regret, of course, but they are still rather bad for me