Hi, all. This is my story with TSM. Not really happy ending up to now, but I decided to talk to someone about this. I hope you guys are able to understand my situation. I just HAVE to talk to someone...

I did the TSM last year. My treatment took about 4 months only. And then I quit drinking! It wasn't a personal decision of mine, I simply started feeling no desire AT ALL. It didn't happen in the blink of an eye, it took a few weeks, but that obssession for drinking really vanished. Great.

Then I came back to my old job. Yeah, I managed to get a medical license and so I didn't lose it. But my big problem was coming back to that place and facing those workmates. I like most of them a lot, but it was -- and still is -- VERY embarrassing to me having to deal with them everyday. Because they not only saw the absurd of days that was absent at work, they all KNOW I had problems with drinking! To me, that's just TOO much...

Anyway, after about 2 or 3 months being a regular worker, I started feeling depressed about such situation. In the mornings I simply had no disposition to go to work. One day I managed to go there and tell them I was feeling down and was not ok to work. They gave me the day off. But this lack of will to go there didn't disapear. Until the day I didn't manage to go. And then I had a relapse...

Sad, but I think I won't manage to keep the job. Unemployement is knocking at my door by now...
I don't really care about the relapse. I am drinking these days without taking the medicine. But that doesn't worry me! Really. I trust the treatment, I experienced its "magical" results. It's amazing, you simply don't consider drinking anymore. Drinking is not an option, 'cause you just don't desire it!
But the perspective of becoming unemployed... Guys, that's killing my nights of sleep.

But I know I can't go back there. I just can't. I know I'll manage one or two weeks, but a day will come when I won't have willpower to go.
I really hope to come back here later and share with guys happier news. But, until that, I'd appreciate if anyone could just talk to me about this.

Sorry for the tough situation you're in. It sounds like a real drag. But I'd strongly encourage you to keep taking Nal before drinking. Everyone (or at least the vast majority) on the forum who has resumed drinking w/o nal came to regret it.

I wish you the best with the employment problem. Don't have any good advice -- except to find a new work environment if you can.

Did it REALLY work?

If it did...it will.

Can a little 50mg pill change everything? No.

Can you stay in that job? Probably not. Can you find another job? Probably so.

I have a good job. And do not want to lose it. And cannot transfer my skills to any other comparable job. I HAVE to try to keep this job.

What about you? Can you take some time off and find a comparable job? What would it take to do that? I have a good friend who just resigned from a job to avoid being fired. Gives her a few more options in the future.

You were there. You can get there again. Believe that and focus on that one thing. Get from where you are to where you were.

And learn from where you have been.

I don't know your situation and don't know if it's an option for you, but a change of job sounds like it might be what you need. I went through something similar, and when I was trying to quit drinking, two different therapists and a psychiatrist that I talked to all agreed that a job change was necessary, since the job was depressing me and driving me to drink. I took their advice, gave my 30 day notice and immediately felt a lot less stress and anxiety. That, coupled with the Naltrexone and strong support from my partner, has made it possible to quit drinking completely. So if changing jobs is an option, you might want to think about it.

Greeting!
I think the hardest thing is to lean how to work with what I call our triggers. Sounds like work is yours. Mine is a stressed out husband and two very active kids. There are many times when I would love to just numb myself with drink instead of facing reality. However, life marches on.

As far the the people at your work I can understand how you feel. Nobody outside my husband, mom and two close friends know about my fight with drinking. I have been lucky in that aspect. Please don't worry about what others think. I know that is easier said than done. I have come to learn that those people in your life who truly care about you will always be there for you no matter what. Everyone has their own problems and secrets. We just don't always see them. Remember you are important and you are working on getting better. Hang in there!!!

Thank you guys, thank you very much for replying my message! That really meant something to me.

About my job: I talked with my boss and she adviced me to take a "non paid" license -- I don't know the exact expression for this in English -- for a whole year. That means I'm not technically unemployed, I can go back to work whenever I want to, but I'm not working, nor receiving a salary.
About going back to THAT job, who knows the future? Well, just in case... But I'm 100% sure that wouldn't work. It wasn't a decision of mine to stop going, I didn't manage to keep going there. So, I'm pretty sure that going back there won't do me good.

Now I'm looking for another job. And I came back to TSM.

Again, thank you very much for answering. Really.

I read your original post again and have a new perspective on it now. Around the time you posted, I went through the same thing you went through -- after only a few months, I quit drinking too, in exactly the same way. One day, drinking sounded good. The next day it didn't. It looks like both you and I quit very quickly compared to some people who need longer with TSM for a positive effect.

I don't agree with most of the AA philosophy, but I do think one thing they say makes sense. They say that even if Naltrexone could work (I think it does work!), it would only remove the physical problems associated with addiction (the neural pathways in the brain reinforced by the endorphins created by drinking). According to the AA view, even if naltrexone might stop the physical need to drink, and maybe even the psychological need, it does nothing to cure the underlying spiritual cause. In other words, it may fix your drinking, but it won't fix whatever problem in your life caused the abusive drinking in the first place.

It sounds like for you, as well as for me, your work plays a major factor. A few days before I quit drinking, I quit my job. I hated the job so much and associated it with my drinking problem, and after I quit, I immediately felt better. I think it helped me quit drinking. I don't have any brilliant answers for you, but I hope you'll find some way to work through your non-drinking issues, since I think that dealing with them, plus the naltrexone, will be a long-term fix to the drinking problem.

Yes, Valancourt, the medicine cures the disease only. It doesn't fix other aspects of our lives. But that's what every medicine does.
After two months of sobriety I felt the need to talk to someone about how strange it was being sober for me. So I started going to a therapist. The bad news is, she never managed to understand the Sinclair Method, she kept insisting on an abstinence treatment. That's why I decided to quit meeting her.

"I hated the job so much and associated it with my drinking problem, and after I quit, I immediately felt better."
I understand your point, but that's not my case. I can't say I LOVE my job, but I definetely don't hate it. In fact, I really like most of my workmates, some of them were angels for me, very comprehensive and patient. My boss is such a sweet woman!

My problem with my job is that EVERYBODY there knew about my alcoholism. I mean everybody in that entire building, even people from other departments, even people that I know by sight only. That is the unbearable burden for me. Because alcoholism is, in my humble opinion, THE worst understood disease in the world. I mean, we alkies know it's a disease, but the rest of the world doesn't share the same opinion. After all, they have never heard of a medicine to treat it! Hence many people believe it's not a health issue, but pure irresponsability. That's why I didn't feel good there.

Thanks again for replying to my topic!

The one really positive thing I would take from the whole experience is to know that TSM worked for you and so, should do again. This alone would personally give me a big boost for the future.