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 Post subject: I know I can't declare someone else cured, BUT...
PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 11:57 am 

Joined: Wed Dec 01, 2010 7:34 pm
Posts: 521
Location: Denver
When I started TSM on 12/1/10 I followed with interest our member Toxic Girl. She posted here and then just stopped, but she also had a blog about her TSM experience. I followed that, but she stopped posting on that December 2010. I just popped onto her blog and found this....exciting.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011
It Might be a Magical Pill, but You've Got to Believe.

©2011 Amy Luwis
It's been a year since my last post which might be some kind of internet record for time-in-between posts, but I hardly visit blogs, so I could be wildly mistaken. In my mind, I had abandoned my blog for various reasons never to return—mainly because I felt that I had said all that I could say on the subject of TSM and my experiences with it. But after another year's adventure, I felt the need to write a wee bit more....

Last December's "cured" state was short lived. As the months rolled on, my drinking sadly and predictably slowly increased. I was back to drinking every single night and the only consolation was the fact that I wasn't polishing off a whole bottle of wine like I did in the old days...TSM progress? I continued this pattern with little fanfare, dutifully popping my naltrexone, waiting an hour (many times only 30 minutes), and then drinking. This continued until July 2011 when once again, a serious physical issue forced me to take a closer look at what alcohol was doing to my body. I had a choice, continue to drink for that short-lived buzz, quickly followed by overeating, fatigue, and depression OR stop drinking and heal my body and avoid surgery. I chose the latter or rather it chose me because I did not want surgery.

Once again, like my last self-imposed abstinence, I felt myself crippled with fear with the thought of not having a wine glass welded to my hand by 6pm every night. And just like last time, this fear was hugely inaccurate. I simply started, 6pm rolled around, I stared into the abyss, and then made myself a cup of green tea and never looked back. It's now been about 5 months without any alcohol.

I have to admit that I was pretty down on TSM this past year. I felt abandoned, betrayed, duped, and angry. And just when I was finally ready to throw in the towel and declare TSM a load of hooey....it starts to work! Lo' and behold through the months of TSM twists and turns, mini miracles, confusion, rage, and setbacks...all along I guess that pink little pill was tinkering in my brain and doing its job. I say this with 90% confidence because who know where I will be in another year? All I know is the "right now", and right now not drinking is effortless—I could take it or leave it—as all fellow alcoholics know, THIS IS HUGE.

The biggest reason I believe TSM is working for me is simply because stopping drinking was so effortless and not drinking is also effortless. I've also been through many triggers, from stress to funerals to close proximity to hotel mini bars and these too have been easy to breeze through. I could not say this pre-TSM whenever I abstained. Abstaining before "enrolling" in TSM was coupled with extreme WANT. I'd sit and watch others drink with such longing in my heart and eyes (think Puss with the big eyes in the Shrek movie series) and I thought, "how am I going to get through a lifetime of mini torture sessions? I'm bound to blow torch someone very soon."

So there you go, for now I'm 5 months sober, my health has greatly improved, and I don't miss alcohol. I repeat, I don't miss alcohol which is absolutely freakin' awesome! As I type, I have 4 bottles of wine sitting on my coffee table (a gift from in-laws) which would normally be a temptation too hard to resist, but they sit there like a neglected senior citizen in a home. I don't want anything to do with them....for now.

To all my dear fellow alcoholically challenged friends out there in this mysterious, frustrating universe—don't give up, don't ever give up. Happy 2012! I'll keep you posted!

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 Post subject: Re: I know I can't declare someone else cured, BUT...
PostPosted: Thu May 10, 2012 5:57 pm 

Joined: Tue May 01, 2012 3:33 pm
Posts: 21
I would love to hear a follow up from toxicgirl.
Her blog was brilliant and done in a very funny way.
I for one related every step of the way.
toxicgirl,if yer reading,it didn't work for the chocolate did it?

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 Post subject: Re: I know I can't declare someone else cured, BUT...
PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2012 10:41 am 

Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 2:29 pm
Posts: 574
Location: Midwest USA
This was really interesting and encouraging to see. Thanks for posting it.


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 Post subject: Re: I know I can't declare someone else cured, BUT...
PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2012 1:55 pm 

Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 10:22 am
Posts: 47
H.R. Awesomesauce.

Pre-TSM: 100 units/week, 0 AF/days
Wk 1: 82 U, 0 AF
Wk 2: 73 U, 0 AF
Wk 3: 86 U, 0 AF

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