Hi Sticky -- I'm so sorry TSM did not work for you. You stayed with it a long time. I hope you can find a way to a stabler and healthier life. There are other approaches to alcohol addiction that can work. You have a lot of good things to fight for. Wishing you the best!

Hi Sticky,

You gave this such a great effort, and I'm really sorry that TSM didn't work for you. It's tough to see you ending the program, because I look at your numbers and you're almost always under 30 units with several AF days. But in the end, it's all about how you are feeling, and if "bag lady" is making a reprise appearance, then something is definitely still wrong.

Like Tiller, I wish you the best of luck in finding something that works. You've been a great source of support to me, personally, and I really hope everything works out for you and your family.

Take care.

-H

Well...I'm very sorry to read your post, but surely understand. You have responded to nal - which is encouraging - but maybe it can't get you to where you want to be with alcohol, or maybe the time line is too long, and involves too many risks. You've given this a very good effort and helped a lot of us along the way. The Sinclair Method is relatively new in the scheme of things, and pretty imperfect. I bet there are more - and better drugs - being developed, and some others will become available SOON. I truly believe that! In the meantime, I'm glad you have a solid network of friends in AA and I hope you'll keep us posted.

best to you, Sticky -

I have read your posts and thought that overall you were showing a lot of improvement. I hope that if you drink in the future you still follow the golden rule. Try something else? Certainly. Add another dimension? Whatever it takes. But please keep on with the nal an hour before you drink...if you do.

Being abstinent isn't really all that hard. STAYING abstinent is. If you drink....take nal. There are stories of people who achieved control after two years.

In your case it is completely understandable that you would look for another answer. I just think it can't hurt to keep taking the nal.

Sticky,

I am so sorry this hasn't worked for you. I hope you find something that does. You have my best wishes!

Hi Nicky - When I popped on the other day to the forum and saw that you hadn't posted for awhile I suspected you would be posting that TSM didn't work for you. It seems you and I got some relief from TSM, but like you it didn't work its magic on me either. It is frustrating I know and I too feel bad about it. I was sure that it would be the magic bullet.

I am still faithfully doing Nal + 1 hour + Al even though it seems I may have to try something else. I continue it because it does mediate my drinking a bit.

I wish you all the luck and anything else you might need to find your solution to this dreaded disease of addiction. Check in once in awhile and let me know how you are doing.

Half Glass

Sticky/Nicky - I decided to research one more person that had a distinct influence on me on this board...Toxicgirl. She has a blog and I had popped onto that several times only to see that she had never updated it and never returned here. Well, today I popped on again, and here is what I found. Based on this I really think you and I should continue....also there's Dee and Seeking1 who both had to go a long time before TSM worked for them.

TOXIC GIRL'S BLOG QUOTE
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
It Might be a Magical Pill, but You'v Got to Believe.


©2011 Amy Luwis
It's been a year since my last post which might be some kind of internet record for time-in-between posts, but I hardly visit blogs, so I could be wildly mistaken. In my mind, I had abandoned my blog for various reasons never to return—mainly because I felt that I had said all that I could say on the subject of TSM and my experiences with it. But after another year's adventure, I felt the need to write a wee bit more....

Last December's "cured" state was short lived. As the months rolled on, my drinking sadly and predictably slowly increased. I was back to drinking every single night and the only consolation was the fact that I wasn't polishing off a whole bottle of wine like I did in the old days...TSM progress? I continued this pattern with little fanfare, dutifully popping my naltrexone, waiting an hour (many times only 30 minutes), and then drinking. This continued until July 2011 when once again, a serious physical issue forced me to take a closer look at what alcohol was doing to my body. I had a choice, continue to drink for that short-lived buzz, quickly followed by overeating, fatigue, and depression OR stop drinking and heal my body and avoid surgery. I chose the latter or rather it chose me because I did not want surgery.

Once again, like my last self-imposed abstinence, I felt myself crippled with fear with the thought of not having a wine glass welded to my hand by 6pm every night. And just like last time, this fear was hugely inaccurate. I simply started, 6pm rolled around, I stared into the abyss, and then made myself a cup of green tea and never looked back. It's now been about 5 months without any alcohol.

I have to admit that I was pretty down on TSM this past year. I felt abandoned, betrayed, duped, and angry. And just when I was finally ready to throw in the towel and declare TSM a load of hooey....it starts to work! Lo' and behold through the months of TSM twists and turns, mini miracles, confusion, rage, and setbacks...all along I guess that pink little pill was tinkering in my brain and doing its job. I say this with 90% confidence because who know where I will be in another year? All I know is the "right now", and right now not drinking is effortless—I could take it or leave it—as all fellow alcoholics know, THIS IS HUGE.

The biggest reason I believe TSM is working for me is simply because stopping drinking was so effortless and not drinking is also effortless. I've also been through many triggers, from stress to funerals to close proximity to hotel mini bars and these too have been easy to breeze through. I could not say this pre-TSM whenever I abstained. Abstaining before "enrolling" in TSM was coupled with extreme WANT. I'd sit and watch others drink with such longing in my heart and eyes (think Puss with the big eyes in the Shrek movie series) and I thought, "how am I going to get through a lifetime of mini torture sessions? I'm bound to blow torch someone very soon."

So there you go, for now I'm 5 months sober, my health has greatly improved, and I don't miss alcohol. I repeat, I don't miss alcohol which is absolutely freakin' awesome! As I type, I have 4 bottles of wine sitting on my coffee table (a gift from in-laws) which would normally be a temptation too hard to resist, but they sit there like a neglected senior citizen in a home. I don't want anything to do with them....for now.

To all my dear fellow alcoholically challenged friends out there in this mysterious, frustrating universe—don't give up, don't ever give up. Happy 2012! I'll keep you posted!

Hi Sticky, I'm really sorry to read you're having such a tough time. I really feel for you as I'm sure many, many other posters do as well. Don't succumb to the bag lady! Have faith in yourself. TSM sure isn't perfect and there are other medications being developed along the same lines (nalmefene is one which comes to mind) however i don't think you'll achieve much by abandoning it altogether. You sound really down in your post- are you still taking an antidepressant? Maybe it worth talking to your doctor about changing that? There's heaps more I want to say but I am being pestered by little people so its hard to concentrate right now. I really hope things improve for you Nicky and that you get the help you deserve.

Oh Sticky, I'm so sorry to hear you are throwing in the towel on TSM. It is possible that it's not a magic bullet for you (it certainly doesn't seem to be for me, at least not at a dose that I can tolerate physically) but I do think nal is doing some good. I hope that if you continue to drink you will always take nal (and have some around in case the AA-abstinence route doesn't work 100%). I know you tried very hard but perhaps the story Chrissie posted can be of help. If I'm not mistaken, I've been doing TSM for about 13-4 months and everyone thought I'd be cured really early on because I'm a) young and b) my drinking wasn't THAT bad to begin with. And yet, here I am, still struggling with the occasional binge. Sometimes it makes me feel really down on TSM, especially when I realize that I occasionally still lose control. But then when I try really hard to remember what drinking was like BEFORE TSM and nal, I realize just how much of a positive impact they have had. I agree with WJ that it does sound like there is possibly some depression that is behind your recent post. I hope you get some relief through AA or meds or whatever it is you choose to follow. I really, really wish you the best of luck Sticky

Hi everyone

Thanks as usual for all the support. Yep, the alcohol negates the effect of my antidepressants if I binge, so I've been quite down.

I revisited the My Way Out site, where I first heard about TSM, and found a Kiwi mum whose daughter has been taking baclofen for a year and now hardly drinks. I saw the doctor who prescribed it today. I need to wait until I've finished antibiotics for bronchiits, have some blood tests, then go back and hopefully get a script.

So I'm feeling hopeful again. Have also visited a counsellor. She only advocates abstinence, but I will try and have a few weeks off anyway and get my health back.

Hubby and all my friends think baclofen is abstinence only, so I'm not going to mention the possibility of drinking yet. Because it stops the buzz, many seem to choose abstinence anyway.

A special thanks to EL, warrenjames, Half a Glass, Ketch, Chrissie, Zippy, HF, Tiller and Hess for all your support. Wishing you all the best. I'll check back in and let you know how baclofen is going if I get to take it.

Cheers
Sticky