Congratulations -- it sounds like you are doing great!

Chrissie,
Sounds like you are doing well and like Mad Men, licorice, and bike riding we have something else in common...I love Son's of Anarchy!

Eric

Wow, that "11, 4AF" looks REALLY good! I just went on sabbatical from AA/SOS in anticipation of starting TSM next week, and numbers like that are my long-term goal, so you give me hope. To my surprise, after getting through five months completely NA with no really strong cravings, yesterday afternoon the liqueur bottles in the cabinet really started singing to me! Took a tiny taste of each, just a "fingertip dip" but sneaky, without my wife's knowledge, which of course was a main symptom of my bad drinking days. And after those tiny tastes, for a bit there was a certain amount of "boy, taking a long pull on each bottle would sure be great!" Have to watch that; part of my TSM strategic plan is to always drink in her presence or at least with her full knowledge. I'm speculating that it was kind of a temporary euphoric reaction over finally leaving 12-step cures behind me (last meeting was yesterday morning). But it sure reminds me my alcoholic mind hasn't gone away by any means. There's a lot more to this than just the endorphins!

Yes, I think I've turned a bit of a corner lately...I still really look forward to that first beer or two, but after that, it's just not that interesting. It's like drinking on a very full stomach...it just feels like calories.

Ellpee, I've been reading your posts w/ interest - it all sounds good to me. I think you are the first person I've read who is starting TSM w/ such specific #'s and behaviors lined up (right out of the gate), like not drinking when you're upset, only drinking in the presence of your wife, 10 units a week, etc. This is very admirable...however, it may be a little ambitious. Of course for a lot of us alcohol addicts there is no putting on the brakes once we start drinking, and though Nal surely helps with that - giving control - it might not be immediate for you! So I hope if you over shoot your goaled behaviors and #s that you won't consider yourself "failed" or be too hard on yourself. The #'s and behaviors you describe are great, but it takes most of us a while to get there.

I'm hoping when you start, you will continue posting regularly - good AND bad - so we can all learn together. I like your attitude, that's a real plus!

Oh yeah, I'll be posting a lot I expect. One of the good things I got from AA/SOS is that "sharing" is therapeutic; stuff that stays bottled up inside often just festers, or one lets one's own distorted thought processes lead him to poor decisions. But I hope there will be more good news than bad.

Chrissie, So I went and found your post (one of your first posts) like you found mine and what you said is just like what I said... Its kind of spooky to read what you said because it was like you were reading my mind, so I guess we are not alone in where we are at.

Good luck to you and my best wishes in your efforts and journey I hope like you don't even know how much I hope that it works out for you!!!!

Wow! U are putting up some really great numbers. You also seem to have some great techniques. I like the every other day AF. Hmmmmmmm....maybe I should add that into my mix.

Didn't mean to send

Glad u are doing well. I bet you are on the list sooner rather than later. Nal on.

Any hints on how you make it thru your AF days. Do you plan ahead for them?

Yes, I plan my AF days. Since I've been known to "bend rules" , having something as definitive as "every other day" allows no "interpretation" or wiggle room! As a daily drinker, it has taken me a while to be able to do this and the turning point was in assessing my "discomfort level" and realizing it was a tolerable 20%. Last week I'd say it had dropped into the teens! Encouraged by that, I'm now applying this self-assessment to drink moderately (2 - 3 units) on my "drinking" nights...how "bad" do I feel if I make myself stop there??? Eskapa told us to track our cravings, but I didn't do that for very long - it didn't seem important early on. But now "discomfort level" assessment looks at my remaining addiction AND resisting old, old habits, (perhaps the bigger factor at this point).

Oh yes, I forgot to say that I have some antabuse from earlier failed attempts to quit or moderate my drinking, and I have taken them maybe a dozen times in my TSM journey, when I seemed unable to get off of a run of drinking days; I haven't used any for a month or so. On AF nights, I might have a spasm of longing or feeling petulant, but I know it quickly passes.