HF: Wow!!

What a great, great accomplishment. You really worked for this thing, friend. I hope all struggling TSMers will read your thread and see the hard and discouraging times you made it through, and see that control/cure is possible even when it seems very far away.

I have so much admiration and gratitude for the honest way you shared your experience, gave and took support, and generally contributed to this community.

I'm smiling as I watch you down the final stretch.

Congrats, HF. It sounds like you are in a really good place. I must admit I'm rather jealous, as I feel like you started months after me (and with many more years of drinking under your belt) but obviously I am mostly quite happy for you I feel like I'm really stuck in a rut right now, and certainly any indifference to drinking that I was building up has vanished. I love/hate drinking just like before. Is there any advice that you feel could help? Anything that pushed you along your way?
Thanks in advance

Hi, EL! Actually, it was your advice that helped me! I instituted moderation techniques. The next piece was adding a heavier beer and then forcing AF days. I found I could do them with ease!

Plus, for some reason, this time when I drink again, it just doesn't taste the same. I think the longer I stay away, the easier it's going to become. I ran across a few others who had to force the AF days after six months and found they were further than they had thought. I think that's where the moderation management comes in.

Any time you want, PM me. If I can help, I would be pleased. After all everyone here has done, if I can help, please let me know.

After reading your post in Chrissie's thread and looking at your number I had to come and read your progress. I am impressed and encouraged this morning. I had a pretty heavy weekend of celebrating and paying dearly this morning. As I was telling Chrissie I would consider myself cured if I could consistently keep my numbers in the teens. The hardest thing for me is keeping a positive attitude, especially when hung-over. Then I want to drink the next day just to feel better. Discovering what was key for you I am going to put this into the plan this week. Making a serious effort for the moderation techniques and forcing more AF days.

Thank you so very much for being here a all the support you give! We do feel better helping others and putting their needs to the front!

Smiles, Zippy

For the week, I am 3.5 units, 5 AF days. On Friday, I had been looking forward to a beer and dinner all day. I went to a marginal Chinese place and had a beer. I was hungry and tired, which are bad for me. I drank the beer and ordered another. I left at least half of the second beer on the table. I went home and drank tea. I went to Applebees on Saturday, 5 May and had two margarittas. Crappy Applebees margaritas, and I couldn't even tell the thing had alcohol. This is my lowest week ever and I didn't set out to do it.

I had been promising to start going to the gym. I completed my first good work out in almost two years. I ran about 1.5 miles, did some light calisthenics and hand weights. I will be doing the same tomorrow morning. First time I am going back to a morning work out!

That said, what I am posting about is my sleeping. I slept an average of 9 hours of sleep during the week and 10 and 11 hours Friday and Saturday nights. That's a lot.

Fantastic news, HF! I'm plodding along and feeling a bit discouraged so your accomplishments are a ray of hope.

Well, there you go. You now have got alcohol on the back burner and now have time and energy for quality of life issues (not to mention "fun"). Thanks for such a good report, HF!

Hi HF - your reports keep getting better and better; it's great to see, my friend.

Thanks for reporting on your sleep schedule. Mine was a little sporadic over the weekend due to trying to sleep of my ridiculous Saturday hangover.

Good luck with the gym!

-H

Hello. Hope all is well with everyone!

I had a very high stress time last week, an event which was extremely emotional. I tested myself both for drinking and my beliefs. I also chose to face it without nal. I did this because I wanted to test how far I have come and how much nal works. During this time, alcohol flowed freely, as much as I wanted. If one looks at my signature, my last week’s total was 27. That was my binge. I was unmedicated. I was uncontrolled.

I am still paying for this as we speak, as my consumption is still up. But, still only about 1/3 of my preTSM drinking. Just shows it doesn’t take much to upend the progress I have made. Nor my assertion I have only regained control.

After this, I won’t try this again. However, I had to test to see what would happen. Were it not for my trusty spreadsheet, I wouldn’t know.

Hi HF,

I have been catching up with you with interest, especially your last post because I am also thinking about experimenting drinking without Nal. I came across a man called Stanton Peele who believes that most people display addictive behaviour at some point in their lives, he says that most of those people take control of their addiction unaided, that only the minority seek treatment.

Peele says that addiction is not a disease, that it's not a medical problem but a "life problem", and gives an example of Vietnam vets who stopped using heroine (I think) when they came home from service.

Basically Peele says that the people who seek treatment suffer most because they end up in a 12 step ideology, which he says is dangerous, because it forces a person to self identify as a hopeless addict who cannot control his habit. Causing them to loose faith in their own ability to control their lives.

Whether we agree or not intellectually, I think we subconsciously absorb this message because, well, there is no other. Even we here at this site who are following TSM, even those who have gained control, probably believe that without Naltrexone, we would return to uncontrolled drinking. To the best of my knowledge, any member of this forum who has tried drinking without Naltrexone has reported a (albeit slow) return to abusive drinking.

Why?

Is it because our endorphins aren't blocked any more? Or is it because we don't believe we can control our drinking without Naltrexone? because "once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic' is so ingrained in us that it has become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Could it be that we have been able to step outside our belief enough to try an aided treatment to regain control (TSM) but not far enough to try unaided? These are some the questions I am asking myself at the moment, sparked by Stanton Peele.

A while ago you said:

.

To do something like this, one has to believe one is capable of doing it, one has to have confidence in that ability, and I think that confidence in our ability to change our behaviour is THE most decisive part of succeeding or failing. We are what we believe, even if, or more likely, especially if we aren't consciously aware of that belief.

Well, that's the theory I am considering testing. Do I have enough confidence to go it alone and drink responsibly without Naltrexone?

I'd be most interested in your thoughts on this. If you're interested, I started a thread about SP here: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=2930

Best,

Curi.