You got THAT right... It seems like every Monday I think "this week is going to be REALLY LOW...I'm practically gonna QUIT." And then, through the week, the #'s add up - some from moderate evenings and then usually a blow out or two. Ah well, the blowouts are smaller, anyway...still.

It seems like I FEEL so different, but the #s haven't changed that much lately, and #'s don't lie; they spell P-L-A-T-E-A-U.

Chrissie

That's not a bad place to be, especially when we think about how far we've come!

We've come a long way baby!!!

Smiles everyone have a great week!

Zip

Yes indeedy, a LONG ways, baby!

I really appreciated reading your State of the (Zippy) Human Address. It's good to look back and see just how far you've come. In a lot of ways, these 6 months on TSM have just shot by, and just think! we never have to do that first 6 months again...we are getting ever closer to our goals!

I hope some doctor came through for you and you have refilled your scrip. You have a good week, too, and keep on a'SMILIN'.

Chrissie

Hi Tiller

The plateaus are frustrating, but overall your units are trending downwards and looking good.

Nal on
Sticky

What am I doing?

Last night I got the urge to go out and buy a bottle of vodka. So that's what I did. Then I watched a movie until late and drank a third of the damn thing. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Paying for it now with a day that I can't afford to waste (work piling up) but am nonetheless doomed to being slow and blue. I worry that I'm losing my traction. I haven't been exercising as regularly, in part because of a lot of travel.

I know this is a long journey. Just feeling discouraged today.

OMG. Unfortunately, we are once again in lock-step. I overdid it last night, in spite of the fact I had a dr's appt. this morning...a fasting one, such that I couldn't eat anything this morning to feel better. And this is my beloved dr. I think so highly of, and I'm in there w/ a smallish hangover. Talk about dumb, dumb, dumb.

Remember a few weeks ago I went out to dinner and had a Sambuca, and declared it to be deadly? Well...when I was buying wine for the Easter diner, old Lizard Brain talked me into buying a fifth of the stuff. I guess it seemed kind of "Eastery", since it tastes like licorice jelly beans. Actually, I've been fairly moderate with it - maybe 2 oz. a night, but STILL...this is really not conducive to moving towards my cure, and a far cry from my sporadic "beer only" pledge.

But then I've also been thinking that it's probably reasonable to expect a little subliminal self-sabotage going on - that Lizard Brain would be dragging it's feet. After all, we're giving up a VERY long-held habit...that WAS a lot of fun, right up to the point that it became "unfun".

I still feel like Grownup, TSM Chrissie is ultimately running the show and will prevail. I mean, I have Nal on my side (or my back). So Tiller, I'm confident you are going to prevail also, and the worst is behind us! Still, I understand where you are today. Hope you feel better - I do. I wasn't going to write about me today but reading your post inspired me.

Self-sabotage I really did myself in last week and paying dearly for it today. I really needed to hear, opps read, your positive posts. Certainly giving me some ray of hope right now.

It's been all I can do just to keep myself going the past couple of months. I'm putting up a fight this week and getting back what I gave away to the bottle. It's time to roll up my sleeves and get dirty with this program. I'm not going to let the lizard win!!! I am tougher than lizard will ever be.

Zip

Hi folks:

Nipit's declaration has me both encouraged and reflective. We started about the same time last Aug/Sept. The difference in experience is interesting, and I think reflective of the fact that Nipit is more of a binge/wine drinker and I've been more of a daily liquor guy.

Nipit's thread is a quick and useful read.

8 months in I am certainly far better off than where I started. I'm at half the avg daily intake. I actually have AF days, though lately they are too often in response to overdoing it. I have (mostly) switched to beer to maintain better control. My life is demonstrably better. My wife is happier and my kids hardly ever see me swilling hooch at night.

That said, in recent weeks I've been getting the odd pint of whiskey and killing half or more of it in a night, then following with an AF day in the doldrums. Just have to cut that hard stuff out because it's too easy to drink through the nal. Maybe these are extinction bursts. But I have to say the cravings can still be really strong.

I tried the glutimate routine for cravings but didn't see an effect. I still have some sitting around so I may just use it up. Cravings are why this is an addiction.

Part of me feels like I'm just sort of drifting along but still making slight headway toward control. The whole, "let nal work in the background" idea.

Part of me feels like I'm in danger of screwing up and need to get back on course though more willpower. I best listen to message number two and do the work TSM actually requires of some of us to make the finish line.

Today's word is determination.

And also celebration, for Nipit!!

I alway enjoy reading your words of wisdom Tiller! This does take a load of determination, perfect for today as I promised myself this morning I'm going to make it a great week. Not only for myself for those around me, including everyone on the forum. I believe we are all unlearning our old patterns slowing, it's not an overnight success, I don't think we would really appreciate it if it where.

Gonna go check out Nipit to help celebrate!

Have a good one!
Zip

Hey Tiller - it's been beaten to death on this forum, but like many have said before: TSM slows the ride down enough for us to hop off, but it's still up to us to do the jumping.

Like you, I've also found that hard stuff is almost impossible to indulge in without experiencing a brutal hangover. I really hope that if we can just cut out the hooch, we'll be on the final lap of this thing. It's very cool to see some of the Class of Aug/Sept TSM'ers crossing the finish line this week.

Keep hanging in there and you'll be joining them before you know it.

-H