Ugh, indeed... Hmmm...I can't remember; have you tried an AF stretch before? Let's see, what are the alternatives to bourbon for you? Anyway, I admire you reporting in and just wish I had something SMART to tell you about this particular, uncomfortable phase of TSM for you.

I had a month of AF before I started TSM (it was to try and clear my mind while I was finishing my dissertation). It was not hard not to drink, exactly, but made social situations very awkward as I mostly hang out with other drinkers. I think that bourbon has got to go for now, at least for harm reduction's sake. If I stick to wine or beer I'm pretty sure I won't be ABLE to have more than one or two drinks in a row (stomach issues and whatnot....). But that's ok for now I think :/

I agree, EL: sounds like the hard hooch has got to go, at least until you get your feet firmly back underneath you. I'm trying to do the same. And it's certainly an idea Sinclair himself suggests.

It's not much fun but the hell you've been giving yourself is worse.

Wish there was more I could do to help... Thinking of you.

Well, more bad news to report (this has been a bad stretch) but I think I'm getting back on track. Last week's total was around 25 units, and that's only three days. Three binges. It's basically like the old days. However, I feel more positive now and am getting back on track. I don't know why I'm having this extinction burst (maybe dealing with my bf's depression and the fact that I feel like he's not much fun socially these days, in part because he doesn't really drink anymore...that's a long story but yeah the nagging feelings are there) and maybe it doesn't matter. What I know is that I CAN have control because I've had it before. I think I cannot just count on the nal to do everything and I can't give myself a pass to drink whenever a passing craving happens because "it's ok, I've got nal". I think I've been steadily drinking more during the week with that exact thought process. Anyways, last night however I had a good run and then felt amped and well, wanted a drink. I took half a nal and took a shower, etc did stuff until the hour passed. I started my drink. Maybe half of it was nice. And then I literally thought I was going to be ill. Not just nausea, but it's like the nal was stripping all of the post-workout endorphins from my body and just making me feel WRECKED and exhausted and crabby and sick and slightly feverish. So uhm I've learned a lesson. Workout + nal + drinking within a 2 hour span does NOT WORK FOR ME. Lol...good to know. Going to hot yoga tonight so now I have yet another reason not to drink tonight
Anyways, I lost a week or two in that hole, both mentally and in terms of counting drinks and posting on others posts. Sorry guys, I'm back now though :/
EL

Once again, you're taking notes and adjusting what you do accordingly. No, you didn't "lose" those few weeks, but got a lot of important data, such as 1) not all bourbon is created equal 2) you still have a bit of vulnerability to other addictive substances...& 3), the exercise buzz trigger . I esp. admire you reported in anyway - it's easier to share GOOD news, but probably not as important in the long run.

ANYWAY...I'm glad to hear you sound like you're back on track! You've helped us all a LOT w/ your good ideas about moderation, and applying some torque to TSM, and it sounds like you're going to plow that back into your program, also.

BTW, WHAT is "hot yoga"? I'd better google that - I've always despised yoga for being so...the opposite of aerobics - I like ACTION. Another BTW, how/why did your BF cut back on his drinking, and was it hard for him to do?

Hey Chrissie - hot yoga is yoga done in a heated room. It varies a lot. Some people do Bikram, which I loathe, which is the same series of poses every time in a 104 degree room. I actually do hot vinyasa, which it sounds like you might like - it is DEFINITELY going to get your heart pumping. It's not the same as doing straight up cardio but trust me, you will be sweating and panting just as well. My classes are usually 1.5 hours in a 90 degree room and vinyasa yoga is all about "flow", which means a lot of movement. It's basically aerobic yoga without most of the new age stuff
As for my BF - he used to drink like a fish, and love it, and he basically got to the point where his hangovers were crippling. We're talking 3 days crippling. That, combined with the fact that he's depressed, was not a good combo. Now, he hasn't really owned up to the depression part but he HAS at least realized that drinking doesn't help. He does occasionally still over do it, but we're talking a hangover once every 4 months or something. One of the hard things for our relationship is that it has been (seemingly) almost effortless for him to cut down on his drinking. He now almost never has more than 2 beers in an evening and he seems fine about it. He doesn't have the cycle of tight control, losing control, etc. Now, he's not HAPPY about it - part of him is pissed off he can't drink anymore and he knows he's not as much fun socially without it - but he does it. I guess I admire it but also am like HOW?????

Hi EL

The hot yoga sounds fun. I like energetic workouts too.

It's not fair that the BF can just cut back on his drinking relatively easily, is it? I stayed up way too late on Tuesday as it was a public holiday here on Wed and hubby went fishing overnight. Drank way too much. Am so over doing this.

At least Ketch has "regained control".

I hope this week is going better.

cheers
Sticky

EL, thanks for the details. I'm thinkin' "Hot Yoga" sounds pretty exciting, and so is probably not legal in Kansas (we don't even believe in evolution, after all )

As for your BF's ability to just QUIT...wow, that sounds amazing to me. I just read your post saying you'd only developed a problem w/ alcohol in the past few years; now he has quit and that would really change the dynamics a LOT. Though you are moving in the right direction - back to moderation. How interesting that Staceyface has a similar complaint about her husband...

Hi EL,

[quote][/quote]I think I cannot just count on the nal to do everything and I can't give myself a pass to drink whenever a passing craving happens because "it's ok, I've got nal"

You got it. Both sentiments are correct. Sorry to hear you have had a couple of tough weeks. TSM is a unique journey for everyone and perhaps this is part of the last hurrah before your brain surrenders itself to TSM . Midway through my journey with TSM I made a conscious effort to not instantly respond to cravings (ie delay the start of my drinking) and found that by waiting the cravings eventually mostly evaporated. Stay strong, persevere and you will definitely get there. Hope your next few weeks are much better all round for you.

Hey!

What comes to mind is "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" this has been my montra all week!

Listen, I bet this will give ya encouragement!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn676-fLq7I

Another thing I have to keep reminding myself is, be your own best friend!

Love ya,
Zip