Hi EL

So sorry to hear about your St Patrick's Day. I can relate to how you must have felt the next day. My awful weekend before last I did take nal, but when I continued to drink I didn't take another nal when I should have. The outcome sure isn't great.

Try to not focus on this setback but rather on your excellent progress leading up to it.

As for working from home and wanting to go out to stay sane, I guess that's one advantage of being older and having kids. When I was your age I used to think it was a sin to stay home on a Friday night. When you're older you're too tired, you have to organise and pay for babysitters and you feel like a grandma in night clubs! How about going out to a movie sometimes?

Take care
Sticky

I am so sorry to hear about your St Patrick's Day. We all have had the moments of bar hopping. It seems like the right thing to do. Until the next day.

TSM promises we can be free of everything except one minor detail. And like all things, there is a catch. For us that catch is we cannot, or more properly, must not drink without nal. Ever. As others have pointed out in the cured threads, we will revert if we do.

On the other hand, there is no "relapse" for TSM'ers. There is no grind of meetings, we will be free. But are always stuck with the nal.

Glad you are safe and home!

Hi El,
Glad to see you made it home safe. I like your posts and you have provided me with encouragement and kindness. So, I need you and the others in this forum to take their Nal and get yourself on the cured list so I can be confident that TSM works and I will stick with it as well.
I know you must feel like **** as I have many times but please get back on your horse and finish this thing.

Thanks for all your support and take care,

Eric

Hi EL - first off, glad you ended up getting home safe. That sounded pretty scary. St. Patty's got the better of several of us here, and the fact that it fell on a Saturday this year pretty much guaranteed an emerald sh*tstorm.

Is there a particular reason why you ended up not taking your Nal? I imagine since it was St. Patty's and the weather up here was beautiful, you probably started day-drinking pretty early, which can be a kiss of death for dosing properly. Whenever I do that, I'll often get into a mode where I'll say "f*ck it" and not even bother taking the Nal with my first...or second...or third drink. Next thing I know, it's dark out and I can't find my pants.

I know you're probably still feeling super bummed about the binge itself, but think about it - even "normal" drinkers overdo it every once in awhile...ESPECIALLY during a big drinking holiday. Things are going to settle back down for you, and you'll get back into your groove of AF days and the occasional moderate night. No worries!



The way I look at it, I don't think you can ever call yourself "cured" if you're expected to dose for the rest of your life, just like a diabetic is never cured if he/she always has an insulin pump installed. This is how I choose to reconcile it: I simply compare myself to someone who can't have spicy food without taking heartburn medication prior to a meal. Not taking this medication would flare up a chronic case of heartburn. There's nothing morally wrong with this person, he/she just has a genetic/physical issue with spicy food that can lead to bad consequences. Perhaps it's not the best analogy, but it makes me feel more "normal" about taking my Nal.

And another thing - if you ended up dosing on St. Patty's, you probably would've had a moderate night. This should confirm how close you are to a "cure."

Just remember that your progress has still been amazing thus far.

Hope you're feeling better.

-H

Hey El:

Another shot of support coming from me. You've been doing super well overall. Let go of your loony night enough to be rid of the guilt, but keep it in mind next time you're tempted to drink w/o "coverage." The wrong train metaphor should warn you off trying to booze without nal in the future!

"Cure" is such a loaded word. I don't at all dispute folks who want to use it but you've said yourself it's not really the description of the goal you're looking for. Reliable, consistent control seems more your mark (and mine too, for that matter). And you are so, so close to that mark.

Like Hess, I wonder what was going on when you decided to drink without nal?

I also agree with him about the heartburn metaphor. If anyone asks what's in my keyring pill capsule I say heartburn medicine. What's wrong with using nal for the rest of your days (or until something better comes along) to control this addiction? It's no weakness. Quite the opposite: it's an intervention that requires strength. You've been so determined for so long -- and that's strength.

So stay strong, friend, and let your support crew here help keep you aloft. As you can see, we care about you and have your back.

Hope you are feeling better today! I reread my post, I was trying to be supportive, but it didn't come off that way. The biggest thing you have reminded me, and something I have taken to heart, is always take the nal. It's so important.

Like Tiller says, this is forever. I think that's hard to take sometimes. Just like a person with acid reflux has to take heartburn medicine, we all have committed to this.

My best wishes are with you!

Take care!

Hi guys, thanks for all the support. I am feeling better, though not coming off of a great week (22 units). I think I honestly forgot to take nal with me (I usually have a little stash on me, but had taken it all and not refilled) and left the house hours before even thinking about drinking, so when it came time to drink I just did. It's ironic that you all mentioned this heartburn metaphor because I actually DO suffer from some pretty serious heartburn related problems (and a hiatal hernia, long story) and thus have to take two different pills morning and night to control it. I think part of my reluctance to taking nal FOREVER is that I do still get negative side effects from it, both immediately after in the form of nausea and crankiness (and reduced social fun) and the next day, in the form of mild lethargy/depression at times. Not a great combo to live with forever, but yes it is better than the black-out, train to Canarsie alternative
This week was mostly quite controlled - a Friday night with 2 drinks and a Sunday night with only 1, although both involved going out - but Saturday night was a bit of a boozer. Old friend was in town visiting from Korea and he's a heavyweight. I didn't do anything retarded, just drank 10 drinks and stayed out late and was super tired all day Sunday. I had taken nal so I was in control, but the "memory" of feeling drunk without nal was still there (at least the good parts...) and I could feel myself trying to drink through the nal. It's going to take a few more drinking sessions with nal to extinguish that, I think.
anyways, things are -ok-. I think I need to up my exercise regimen (I like to do cardio and/or yoga 4 times a week, but it's been more like twice a week recently) to cut out boozing time and combat the nal depression. At least I'm getting lots of work right now and am relatively busy and financially -ok-. and I have dental insurance woot! (working on the regular insurance still lol...)

El, progress, progress...we're gettin' there.

Yeah, I was really shocked drinking that Sambuca the other night, how it was like good old Magic Carpet Ride days again, whoa. Scary stuff, and it made me glad I'm mostly a beer drinker, because that high-proof stuff cuts like a knife, for sure.

I'm glad to hear your business is going well and you don't have to deal w/ the crap job anymore!

Chrissie

I know the forever seems daunting. I keep thinking about that. Forever. I miss my buzz sometimes, but when I do I think about the hangovers. Failed relationships. Legal bills. It's the first time I have truly understood grateful, even if it isn't a finish. At least it was honestly stated when we went into it.

I guess that makes the rest of it worthwhile. I am thankful I don't have the side effects you have. I wish there was something that made it better for you. You have handled that part much better than I ever would have. Maybe nalfeme is going to be less harsh.

Take care!

Hey there EL,

Very sorry to hear about the bad experience you had on St. Patty's day. But also, glad you got home okay. Please don't keep beating on yourself about it but by now (sorry I'm late) you've probrably stopped, I hope. I guess this shows how much Nal helps us all and how important it is to take it, always. Just no way around it. And yes we are not cured without the nal, we will all always need to have it on hand. But on an ongoing basis, most of the time, you don't even drink, have no desire, and thats good. You are getting there.

I'll just share a little about what happened just weeks before I declared my cure. I was messing around with the dosage to see what was right and took only a quarter pill that night. NOT ENOUGH! I ended up drinking way too much, black out, the whole nine yards. It happens. But then just a few weeks later...... cured. Thats how close you very well could be. Just keep going, eventually the cure just comes.

Best wishes,