Hi Sticky,
I usually only provide updates on how my husband is doing with TSM, and rarely respond to each of you TSMers as I feel a bit out of place, not being the actual participant and all. But I want to extend positive thoughts your way. You had the courage to undertake this method many months ago and you’ve had the courage to faithfully keep staying the course, please don’t give up yet. There are so many unknowns with this process and so often in my readings of this forum I’ve noticed that following the darker times, better times soon follow. You never know what lies around the next corner. If you can have some AF days then go for it! Perhaps revisiting CuriousOne’s Tips and Tools and taking Nalwayout's recommendation to read Seeking 1's story, will give you a much needed boost.

Thinking of you, Vegas

Thank you so much everyone

I love you all and thank you for your support.

First off hubby tells me not to give up TSM despite my binges. (After I said I should give up drinking altogether on Sun.) Then tonight he seems super angry (to the point of hitting me?) b/c I went to a cocktail evening at our eldest's high school. It was heaps of fun and I met some lovely people. Did not make a dick of myself. I bought tickets for both of us ages ago and he didn't want to go - the last coupla days have been awful as I binged then come back to yet again arguing about having no money. He thinks I shouldn't be so stressed, but I am over it after 13 1/2 years of frequently not being able to pay bills and me having to deal with it, even though it's not my fault. I feel personally responsible when I can't pay. He basically couldn't give a **** about who we have to pay and says so, but takes the stress out on me in other ways.

I call myself Sticky b/c my nickname is Nicky - Sticky Nicky!

Struggled to find all the posts suggested, but will keep trying.

Thanks guys and I won't give up in a hurry
Sticky

Hi there Sticky,

Just checking in with you. I'm hoping you are okay. Please let me know how you are doing. I've been thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way. Come on girl you can do this...

Best,

Thanks for that great observation, Vegas...so true! It's quite the reward to see someone struggling and then voilá! It's like a switch is flipped.

Sticky, your stress is understandable...you've a lot on your plate! I'm glad you had a good time at that party - that probably did you a lot of good, and I'm sorry DH rained on your parade. Spouses can be quite imperfect!

Chrissie

Hi Sticky - just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you, and I hope things have been better over the past few days. Like Chrissie said - you have a lot on your plate, and it's sometimes easier to just numb the stress away with booze rather than face it head-on. I hope your husband cools down a bit, as the description of your interaction with him was a bit concerning (although I'm glad he continues to support you with TSM).

I'm really hoping this is the final hurdle for you, Sticky. You've worked damn hard for a "cure."

Please keep us updated.

-H

Hi everyone

Thanks for the support. Feel better today. Hubby has sorted out some of the money issues as it all got too much for me, so I'm paying some overdue accounts, thank God. That bit about him getting physical was mostly me overreacting -he only once got pushy with me when he was drunk, so sometimes when I get drunk my paranoid brain thinks it will happen again. It's actually very unlikely. And he is still standing by me and now trying to be helpful again.

Will aim for a week to 10 days AF and see how that goes - wish me luck!

Had lunch on Wed with a new friend who is in AA in the Sth Island but comes up to AKL from time to time. I've told her about TSM & it was nice for both of us to be honest with each other about all sorts of things, especially those our husbands don't really understand! Also going to my womens meeting today, which always helps.

Have a great weekend everyone
Sticky

Sticky my old friend - I'm still around although I don't post much. I'm still taking Nal and drinking Al. I know you are discouraged and so I wanted to post for you today that I always check your thread. Despite what you think you have made progress. Your numbers have decreased. I know that you still binge drink and that brings you down, but hang in there. Re-read Seeking1's post about regaining control before you give up. It took him/her two years to do it. That's why I haven't given up yet.

I've been at a plateau now for several months and like you I've been doing TSM for nearly 16 months. Despite that, I have seen improvement. I can still remember when there was much less control in my life than I have now. I know that if I stopped Nal my drinking would skyrocket quickly and all that really out of control stuff would start again. I still drink way too much but I continue to see changes. Like the fact that I can't drink Pinot Noir anymore. It was my only drink when I joined this forum. Now it makes me gag. I stopped drinking it about 2 months ago and if it is all I have to drink then I won't drink! So, I've moved on to white wine which will someday make me gag too. I've tried other things like margaritas and found that after just one night I can't drink anymore as the "new" alcoholic beverage makes me gag. So, just hang in there. You and I may be those two year folks like Seeking1.

Love and support to you, Half Glass!

Half Glass! Thanks for the reminder this does take time, persistance pays off! Sticky, Hang in there, if we don't have bad days we wouldn't know what a good day is or how it feels. I'm so greatful to have me again, and the opportunity to be able to just be me. Happy Monday, happy spring...

Zippy Smiles

Well put, Zippy...I'd never thought of it that way.

Sticky, I bet you are definitely over the hump...it's a long journey but I think you're on the downhill side (in a good way!) Aren't you glad you're not just starting out??? The best is yet to come, for you and ALL of the people lucky enough to be at this forum!

Chrissie

Behind you all the way, Sticky. Keep us posted on the 10 day experiment.