This is a post I really dont want to make and if Im honest a bit afraid to make for fear of the comments I will get back. I have been messing a lot with taking nal, sometimes not taking it at all and other times not waiting the full hour. The results are what one might expect, less control more cravings, some though certainly not all of the old behavours returning. Why do I do it , who knows? most likely actually almost definitely because Im an alcoholic.

That said I had a wonderful holiday, drank quit a bit but no daytime drinking or sneaking no blackouts. Quite a few nights there were people in our company who drank a hell of a lot more that I did.

Anyway, Ive confessed and its back to the drawing board since last night. For the first time ever I had an hour of this unbelievable crankyness with everybody. I remember Andrea speaking of it in a couple of her posts. It passed and I drank 4 glasses of red wine and went to bed happy.

We are here to support one another, not condemn nor criticize. All of us know the Golden Rule of TSM, and we all know if we don't follow it then things get a bit touchy over time. Not immediately, but over time. It's up to each of us to take that knowledge and apply it to our situations.

Glad your holiday went well! I am going to take one when I have regained control. Right now, I am still afraid I will mess something up.

Have a great week!

Oh Mario, we've all been there. Don't beat yourself up too much! But I'm glad you're back and are going to give nal another, real try. It takes not taking nal sometimes to realize just how much progress we HAd made, despite not noticing it. Good luck getting back on the horse,
EL

Hi Mario,

I have been thinking of you over the past few weeks. How are you doing????

A

Not been doing so great lately even though Im religious about taking nal. Im still drinking more that I was at the beginning on it though I know I have more controll than I would have without it. Ive started back on antidepressants a few weeks ago. Ive had depression on and off for years but vits b's and excercise Ive been able to keep on top of it but in the past few months its been getting deeper and I feel like bursting into tears a lot. Although I thought that baclofen was great at the beginning for anxiety I now think its responsible for the depression. Ive come across other people online who have had depression from it. I take a low enough dose just to sleep so Im not sure if I should taper it or just quit it completly. Im just so sick of feeling so low when there is basically nothing really wrong in my life, nothing that warrants this level of sadness at any rate.

Mario, I totally get where you are coming from. Sometimes I feel so down about life even when things are objectively pretty good...the drinking really plays tricks on our minds, I think. But it is possible that the antidepressant and baclofen AND nal are not a great combo together. That is a lot of drugs. Have you talked to a doctor?

Im droping the bac as and from today and will see how I feel after a couple of weeks. I do intend going to the doc though in the next couple of weeks.

Hey Mario, I'm sorry to read that you are having such a bad time at the moment.

I can understand that you started playing around with Nal, for me there is the dislike of taking medication for life and also the "What if" element.

An idea might be to reduce the quantity of Nal you're taking once you're back on track again. Get to where you want to be drinkingwise with 50mg and then maybe try 3/4 of a tablet and see how it goes, if it works out, you can drop to 1/2 after a few weeks and so on. I take 1/4 now and I feel more comfortable with 12.5 mg than 50. Going from 50mg to 0 is a big jump, maybe our neurones need weening? And of course if it doesn't work you know that 50mg works and can return to that dose.

Depression so funking sucks! And I'm sorry you have to go through it. There is a lot that can be done about it without resorting to medication. If you read up some bio-chemestry you can get some good tips to help elevate symptoms, especially on Serotonin, Dopamine and Endorphins.

Sugar and starches are downers for me, if I have a day of say, pasta and cakes and things like that, I feel it in every way the followings days, intestinal problems, rheumatism aches and pains and I definitely feel down. Try Paleo/Atkins style eating for a while and see how you feel, basically it's all the meat, fish, poultry, eggs and fruit & vegetables you want. Avoid sugar and refined flour products and ready made meals.

Don't aim for perfection, aim for 80% and stick with it and see how you feel after a few weeks. As well as B vits, take fish oil (Omega-3) and amino acids, many of these are known to boost Serotonin and other neurotransmitter levels. Try Melatonin if you are having trouble sleeping, 3 to 5 mg one hour before you intend to sleep. Sit in a quiet place with low lights (darkness helps us produce more of our own natural Melatonin) and get as much sunlight as you can during the day, sunlight helps us produce Vitamin D with in turn helps stimulate Serotonin production.

I hope you feel better soon!

Curi

Hi

Im actually quite good at taking my vits b complex as well as calcium and magnisium. I dont take fish oils but I will start today as my hubby has some.

Im on 100mgs of zoloft for over 3 weeks now and still fell the same. I had started to feel just a tad better but we went to Dublin for 3 days and had quite a lot to drink on one of the nights so Im back to square one again. I know its my own fault but its so tempting to have a few drinks to get away from my mind for a couple of hours.

On top of that while I was away my sister dropped a coffee table on my 83 year old mothers leg and dug a 3 inch hole in it. They have done some temporary work on it for now to see how it goes but they may have to do skin grafts if the skin in her leg doesnt live. She has to stay with me and is driving me mental already. I didnt grow up with my mother so am not even close to her yet Im the one out of four of us that is left looking after her. This after my father and her divided up farms and houses to the other three and gave me nothing as I was reared by an aunt from the time I was a small child. Its highly unfair that Im the one left to deal with this but I can hardly say that to her now. I have absolutely nothing to say to her. To be fair Im the only one with a downstairs spare room and she cant climb stairs with here leg. Im just scared that Ill never get her home again. I know this sounds terrible but its the way I feel and I do feel guilty as well which just makes me cater to her hand and foot to make up for it but my heart is not in it.

Anyway moaning wont make it better. If the zoloft kicked in a bit I might see things differently.

The evil thing about drinking is it makes our depression deeper and (in my case) also can up anxiety the next day. Ugh.

I hope the zoloft kicks in. Did it work for you before?