My words live on...lol! Sticky, it sounds like you're dealing with your drinking pretty well despite all the turmoil in your life...honestly, money worries almost always make me want to drink, which is absurd since alcohol, especially at bars...costs money!!!
I have a question - how do you get your signature to be so long?? I keep having to truncate mine...

Hiya Zippy & EL and everyone else

Thanks as usual for all the support. Ignore my drunken and depressed whinge about being old. I had too many drinks and felt down, but more often than not I am good. Unfortunately I've been drinking again tonight. Have posted on a few others threads and was so happy to see Rapper back after a coupla years. I didn't feel like the dinosaur around here anymore! Not in age, but in length of doing TSM.

Last week was quite good units wise. Almost healthy in the grand scheme of things. But there were factors which slowed down my drinking. Yesterday was hubby's birthday -he is a leap year baby and our eldest jokes that soon he will be older than his Dad (in no. of birthdays he has had.) We went to see the All Whites (NZ's top soccer team) play Jamaica, so for various reasons I only had a couple of drinks all night, but today it seems like I am trying to make up for it and it is only the beginning of my week. Because I only had 2-3 drinks yesterday I actually had quite strong cravings this arvo for more. Does anyone else relate to that? All the lack of sleep and stress over money has not helped with this.

EL - to be honest, I'm not sure how my units go on for so long. I just keep on copying and pasting from the previous week!!

I guess I will put it out there that I don't give up easily. Many alcoholics say they have never finished courses, etc. I got mostly A's all the way thru school and uni, not that it did me any good b/c I had no idea what I wanted to do, but I hung in there. I suppose that's what I am doing now with TSM.

Nal on everyone!
Cheers
Sticky


Week 1: 1,8,AF,3,AF,AF,3.5 total 15.5,3AF Week 2: AF,8,8,AF,AF,4,8 total 28, 3AF
Week 3: 4,8,AF,8,AF,5,AF total 25, 3AF Week 4: 16,AF,8,7,AF,10,AF total 41, 3AF
Week 5: 7,12,8,AF,8,AF,8 total 43, 3AF Week 6: AF,5,12,AF,AF,8,AF total 25, 4AF
Week 7: AF,14,AF,6,AF,5,AF total 25, 4AF Week 8: 8, AF, 12, 12, AF, 1.5, 1.5 total 35, 2AF
Week 9: 12, AF, 10, 2,AF, 10, AF total 32, 3AF Week 10: 9, AF, 10, AF,1.5, 6.5, AF total 27, 3AF
Week 11: 12, AF, 14, 3.5, 1, AF, 7.5 total 38, 2AF Week 12: AF, 8 AF, 9, 2, AF, AF total 19, 4AF
Week 13: 8.5, AF, 9, AF, 12, AF, 14 total 43.5, 3AF Week 14: 7.5, AF, 8, AF, AF, 9, 9 total 33.5, 3AF
Wek 15: AF, 9, AF, 9, AF, 9, 10 total 37, 3AF Week 16: total 34, 2AF
Week 17: total 32, 3AF Week 18: total 34, 4AF
Week 19: total 33, 3AF Week 20: 32, 3AF
Week 21: total 38, 3AF Week 22: 29.5, 4AF
Week 23: 34.5, 3AF Week 24: 36, 4AF
Week 25: 30.5, 3AF Week 26: 29, 3AF
Week 27: 22, 4AF Week 28: 33, 2AF
Week 29: 24, 4AF Week 30: 23, 4AF
Week 31: 19, 5AF Week 32: 29, 4AF
Week 33: 29.5, 3AF Week 34: 20, 3AF
Week 35: 35, 2AF Week 36: 20.5, 3AF
Week 37: 30, 3AF Week 38: 16, 5AF
Week 39: 32, 2AF Week 40: 23, 3AF
Week 41: 27, 3AF Week 42: 24, 4AF
Week 43: 37, 2AF Week 44: 29, 3AF
Week 45: 24, 3AF Week 46: 25, 3AF
Week 47: 29, 3AF Week 48: 25, 3AF
Week 49: 26, 2AF Week 50: 26, 1AF
Week 51: 20, 3AF Week 52: 25.5, 3AF
Week 53: 23.5, 4AF Weeks 54 - 56: 25, 3AF
Week 57: 30, 2AF, Week 58: 35, 1AF
Week 59: 16, 5AF, Week 60: 20, 4AF
Week 61: 25, 2AF, Week 62: 25, 3AF
Week 63: 20, 4AF, Week 64: 15, 4AF

Definitely relate to that - it feels as if there can be a sort of 'rebound' effect. Lack of sleep / money worries is also a standard driver.

Hi Sticky, I haven't been around for a while but thought I'd get on tonight to see how you are going. Seems like you've had some up and downs but overall your progress is still a consistent downward slope. Try not to be so hard on yourself: your intentions are all good. I can empathize with you not handling stress well, I am certainly the same. As for money worries, they tend to sort themselves out one way or another eventually (though they are a **** to deal with at the time). Keep on truckin, you will get there.

Hey Sticky, Yes I can relate to wanting to overcompensate after a moderate or AF day...ADE, catching up, whatever. But it is increasingly less satisfying (not NEARLY as good as what I remembered or anticipated!), so that's progress, right?

I read a thread here recently (sorry, I can't remember who), but they were coming back and saying after being on a plateau for a long time, had made a sudden plunge downward in #'s...and I think they'd been at it 2 years. This took me aback, and I gulped (hoping that wouldn't be me), and yet this person was saying that their long plateau had been way better than pre-TSM. And it was easy for me to say that most definitely is where I am. TSM is way better than where I was before...what else would I be doing? TSM is going to follow it's own timeline for us all, so this is a great chance for me to practise PATIENCE

We'll get there, girl...keep posting!

Chrissie

Thank you so much BWD, Warren & Chrissie

I've just watched the movie "Country Strong" on DVD after a couple of people on this site said it was good and that one of the main characters was an alcoholic. I cried a bit, especially towards the end. Years ago there was another movie with Meg Ryan as the alcoholic and I cried all the way thru that at the movie theatre. Then went to the Soup Plantation which had only just opened in AKL, (and didn't last long) which reminded me of my flight attendant days staying in Torrance, LA. BTW, I got cravings for tomatoes when I was a flight attendant - must have been lacking in a few vitamins. No doubt all that alcohol, poor sleep and crazy work hours did not help.

There is a major teenage party (16th??) over the back from our place tonight. Hubby was saying that we need a bigger house so our kids can do the same in a few years. We struggle to keep up with the people in our area, given it's one of the wealthiest suburbs in AKL and we are not wealthy. We get a few whinges from our kids - "All my friends have been to Disneyland" etc, etc...

Feeling a bit down about my lack of progress with TSM after such a long time. Almost knew Kelly would OD & die in the movie tonight - that's where addiction leads. As I have said before, a friend from my womens AA meeting hung herself recently and she had several kids. Also have been listening to that beautiful but very sad song by English Ed Sheeran - "A Team" which is a hit here. It's also about a beautiful young girl who OD's on drugs.

Hope I don't lose this since I've been doing bedtime stories, etc

Cheers
Sticky

Hi Sticky,

Sorry you've been feeling a bit down about TSM. It can be disheartening at times when you feel you're progressing slower than you'd like. But perhaps by going back and reading your earlier posts it would help and show you that you have indeed made progress. I know I get upset watching movies like that. I also used to watch intervention on Monday nights. It is interesting to compare our own situation to that of the show.

I was also feeling that way in January when I was drinking daily just waiting for the Nal to trigger that thought "You don't need it". It only happened after I made a move to stop for some 30 days so I could lose weight. Well, 30 days turned into 50+ days. And when I tried to go back and take nal, I felt horrible! Now, mostly every day is AF. I have no desire to feel that awful nausea again. So, maybe a forced abstinence for a month or so would trigger the change for you too. Just a thought......... We all have our own path. Whatever works best for you my friend.

Anyway, you can do this, just take one day at a time.....

I'll be thinking of you.

Best Wishes,

Nalwayout, what you did is quite impressive...that you could just "stop" drinking, in order to achieve your goal of weight loss. It is much like what Ketch did, who was motivated to not mess up her new job. Nal + time + patience + willpower + motivation...there is a lot we can add to the equation, though "time" is somewhat harder to control.

Sticky, can you think of something highly motivating to maybe nudge your own program along? Some goal to achieve, such as how many units for a given week? On the other hand, you have made very good progress already! Maybe not as fast as you'd like, but you will get there, girl.

Chrissie

Hi everyone

Thanks Chrissie & Nalway for your words of encouragement. My week went further downhill. Not so much in terms of numbers, but after Sat night I went on a 24-hour binge, Sun morn - Mon morn. Felt near suicidal at times. Also felt bad 'cos I sent a random text or 2 which I am still cringeing about. Not looking forward to seeing the recipient even though she thought I'd sent it to her by mistake. OMG!!

Was going to post on here how defeated I felt but decided to wait a couple of AF days out then see how I felt. Yes, I'm discouraged and disappointed in myself. But I'm still not going to give up. Am hoping it will convince me to not drink so often, especially when I can feel myself getting depressed and focussing on alcoholics and addicts dying. It doesn't help that someone else just died who had been to my womens AA group, but actually I don't remember her. It's a passing parade, given it's in a treatment centre.

Was going to stay AF until a party on Sat night, but hubby has gone out fishing (again - he is feeling down about lack of money and work too) and that's a huge trigger. I didn't drink last time he did, but think I will tonight. Will try and drink SLOWLY. And be there for my great kids.

Chrissie & Nalway - you are right about needing more of a focus. If I needed to lose weight I'm sure that would be a good incentive, but I don't. My aim is to get under 15 units a week, so will see how it goes...Wish me luck! I need it!

Cheers
Sticky

Week 1: 1,8,AF,3,AF,AF,3.5 total 15.5,3AF Week 2: AF,8,8,AF,AF,4,8 total 28, 3AF
Week 3: 4,8,AF,8,AF,5,AF total 25, 3AF Week 4: 16,AF,8,7,AF,10,AF total 41, 3AF
Week 5: 7,12,8,AF,8,AF,8 total 43, 3AF Week 6: AF,5,12,AF,AF,8,AF total 25, 4AF
Week 7: AF,14,AF,6,AF,5,AF total 25, 4AF Week 8: 8, AF, 12, 12, AF, 1.5, 1.5 total 35, 2AF
Week 9: 12, AF, 10, 2,AF, 10, AF total 32, 3AF Week 10: 9, AF, 10, AF,1.5, 6.5, AF total 27, 3AF
Week 11: 12, AF, 14, 3.5, 1, AF, 7.5 total 38, 2AF Week 12: AF, 8 AF, 9, 2, AF, AF total 19, 4AF
Week 13: 8.5, AF, 9, AF, 12, AF, 14 total 43.5, 3AF Week 14: 7.5, AF, 8, AF, AF, 9, 9 total 33.5, 3AF
Wek 15: AF, 9, AF, 9, AF, 9, 10 total 37, 3AF Week 16: total 34, 2AF
Week 17: total 32, 3AF Week 18: total 34, 4AF
Week 19: total 33, 3AF Week 20: 32, 3AF
Week 21: total 38, 3AF Week 22: 29.5, 4AF
Week 23: 34.5, 3AF Week 24: 36, 4AF
Week 25: 30.5, 3AF Week 26: 29, 3AF
Week 27: 22, 4AF Week 28: 33, 2AF
Week 29: 24, 4AF Week 30: 23, 4AF
Week 31: 19, 5AF Week 32: 29, 4AF
Week 33: 29.5, 3AF Week 34: 20, 3AF
Week 35: 35, 2AF Week 36: 20.5, 3AF
Week 37: 30, 3AF Week 38: 16, 5AF
Week 39: 32, 2AF Week 40: 23, 3AF
Week 41: 27, 3AF Week 42: 24, 4AF
Week 43: 37, 2AF Week 44: 29, 3AF
Week 45: 24, 3AF Week 46: 25, 3AF
Week 47: 29, 3AF Week 48: 25, 3AF
Week 49: 26, 2AF Week 50: 26, 1AF
Week 51: 20, 3AF Week 52: 25.5, 3AF
Week 53: 23.5, 4AF Weeks 54 - 56: 25, 3AF
Week 57: 30, 2AF, Week 58: 35, 1AF
Week 59: 16, 5AF, Week 60: 20, 4AF
Week 61: 25, 2AF, Week 62: 25, 3AF
Week 63: 20, 4AF, Week 64: 15, 4AF
Week 65: 25, 3AF

Hey Sticky,

Well, things sound a little rough right now. You are right though, you do have great kids and they deserve to have you in their life. I think its great that you are focusing on getting below 15 units a week. That will help a lot. I'm hoping that your AF days also helped you feel better. The more of those you can string together, the more powerful TSM becomes.

If your body could talk to you I bet it would say "Just give me a chance to heal and I'll show you how wonderful life can be". Our bodies have an amazing capacity to rejuvinate and heal if given the chance.

Just keep going, you will get there and it will be amazing when you do.....

Warm regards,