Hi, Tiller! Hope all is well! I am finding the bouncing in a plateau is maddening. I went back up 48.5 and 41.32 last week. It’s a coaster.

I appreciate all your encouragement when I went through my funk. I think that’s a part of the TSM process too. It seems like we come out in reverse.

Glad you are enjoying your family and can remember everything!

Take care and nal on!

Hi Tiller,

I totally agree that scheduling some non-drinking activities will go a long way towards keeping you from creeping back up. That's exactly what I'm trying to do this weekend to get myself back on track. I'm hoping these types of things will give us the push we need to reach the end of this plateau that you, me and HF are on*. Maybe it's time for us to introduce a few more tricks/techniques.

*I also find it interesting that all three of us started at similar times and we're in a (somewhat) similar phase.

Thanks for all your support. We'll get there.

-H

Hess:

Thanks for your thoughts and support. I've been thinking about how the weekends seem to be your next big challenge. I'm not the carousing type of fellow that you are so I can't offer much in the way of experienced suggestions. But what we all need to do at some point is make sure we're in places -- literally and figuratively -- where we have better things to do than drink.

I've heard other folks worry that they won't be as interesting -- or as interested -- without the partying. Is that a concern for you?

Being on a work trip is a trigger for me. So now I'm trying to find other things to do than douse myself at the end of a busy day. It sure feels better the next morning, and that's starting to be an increasingly powerful incentive.

My next goal is to line up enough consecutive AF days to start feeling some of that "up-regulation."

Tiller,

I agree that weekends are my next challenge. Unfortunately, my social life as a late-20's single dude (with a questionable maturity level) often involves a lot of carrousing. My group of friends is of a similar mindset, so there are always opportunities (expectations?) to go out on the weekend and get after it.

The thing is - most of my friends can keep it under control, whereas lately I've been having trouble shutting it down. So I guess the sentiment is not that I feel like I would be less "interested/interesting"...it's just a matter of finding the off-switch. Don't get me wrong, I'm finding it a lot easier/more often than I used to, and others have noticed.


If I was settled down with a wife and kids (and didn't have all of these opportunities to sauce), I think my progress would look entirely different. I can totally see a work trip being a big trigger, especially if that is the only time you don't have the family's eyes on you.


That sh*t is legit. Upregulation is definitely noticeable - especially during...enjoyable activities. Highly recommended.

Enjoy the weekend, buddy.

-H

Hey Tiller, how did the weekend ago? I agree that weekends can be tough and that you need to plan other things than just drinking...however, I'm with Hesster on this. Being 29 it's gonna be hard for me to hang out with my friends and not being around drinking - I just need to be able to keep it under control. I'm not so concerned these days about being less interesting because I'm drinking less - but I do find the nal stripping me of interesting-ness the next day by making me BLAH and boring and socially anxious.
Let us know how you're doing,
EL

Hey Tiller & the guys

Just wanted to put in my 2 cents worth and say that at your age I hadn't even realised I had a problem with alcohol! I got into AA under protest at 32 and had nearly 16 years in & out of AA before discovering TSM. Yes, some of that was successful, but to be honest I am lucky to still be alive. So often I felt like a failure b/c I continually relapsed. I would have been so f****ing grateful to have known about TSM way back then. A chance at being able to drink "normally" - to be honest I didn't think that would ever occur in my lifetime. OK, it hasn't been an easy journey & I still struggle at times after nearly 15 months. But if you guys can try to look at this in a positive manner you are actually very lucky. Not only have you realised you have a problem, unlike most alkies out there, but you are doing something constructive about it which doesn't mean giving up drinking altogether.

Nal on & party on
Sticky

Well said, Sticky! And very cute...a very cute new slogan - can I borrow it in future posts? Those of us that have paid our AA "dues" and been on that futile hamster wheel of trying & failing, trying & failing...wow! And now here we are w/ TSM, with the future bright for all of us.

I was wondering to myself recently WHY I post so much here and I decided that it was that I'm just so EXCITED about TSM and what it is doing for me, that I have to let off some steam...Despite my undramatic progress, it IS progress and I feel so confident and ...already transformed.

Having said that, I would never knock AA, and I'm aware that all my life experiences have led me to where I am today, and maybe puts me in a different place w/ TSM. I'm just SO GLAD that I know I will never again think "maybe I should go back to AA"...freedom!

Chrissie

Hey cats - thanks for checking in. Life is good. As the Beatles said, it's getting better all the time.

EL: The weekend was a mix. I was traveling for work and let myself imbibe a bit more than I wanted, but have followed by three non-consecutive AF days. That's a weekly record for me. Being alone in a hotel room is a classic trigger, but one of those nights was AF so I'm making progress.

Last night I kept myself busy and made it without booze. As a daily drinker, these AFs require a bit more planning and effort than it may be for bingers. But they do seem to be getting easier. This morning I was thinking about people like UKBlonde and the long-gone SpringRider who ended up living lives where drinking is the exception rather than the rule. Who knows, maybe that's where I'll be a few months down the road. All very curious.

Sticky: Our friend EL is still a pup but I'm in my early 50s. Been drinking since college and it really got heavy in the last decade or so. If you asked me a year ago whether I could stand an evening without a drink I would have replied, sadly, "no way."

Now it's possible and I'm certain TSM and nal have made me capable of this major change.

And I want to underline this idea, one I've been thinking about a lot: For me, TSM is not a passive process. It's not a, "take the pill, sit back, relax and enjoy the flight." It's no breeze, but I'm not white-knuckling it, either.

When I really have a jones to drink, I do. But at 6 months of TSM, both quantity and regularity are greatly reduced. And -- importantly -- I can imagine a future of even greater control. Perhaps even total abstinence.

I think our desire to change is a major part of making TSM a success. But I also want to emphasize that there are many, many factors that complicate each of our experiences. For those who don't succeed with TSM as much as they'd like, it may NOT be for lack of desire or commitment. It may be genetics -- the medicine doesn't work. Or environment -- life is just too chaotic for healing. Or whatever may be happening.

But my experience with TSM -- and all that I've read on this board -- convince me that this is process requires courage. We need to recognize that, plan for it a bit and give ourselves props for taking on the beast.

I am so energized and reinforced in my own struggle when I read the experiences of HF, Hess, Sticky, El, Ketch, Chrissie, Zippy, Andy, BWD, UK, and so many more (what is this, an Oscars acceptance speech? I don't want to leave out any names...). I see smart, dedicated, people on a challenging journey being authentic about their lives. I see courage.

TSM and this forum make hope and determination possible.

Thanks, friends.

Tiller...you write such measured, thoughtful WISE posts, that I can just SEE you there @ your computer, in your study, smoking a pipe, wearing a silk dressing gown...am I correct? puh-LEEZE don't tell me you're really clad in a torn, dirty Beer T shirt, & also in a lawn chair out in the backyard, because you're just so very, very tired of hearing Mrs. Tiller bitch about you spittin' Skoal in the waste-baskets, sheesh...

But seriously, I think we are in a similar place these days: I am also finding the AFs to be occurring more often & more naturally, and no longer provoking tantrums. Pre TSM I would occasionally manage one, but was very tense and PO-ed that I was "making" myself do one, and WHY??? Sometimes in an AF evening I get a moment of wistfulness (from some trigger, like the beer in the frig), but then it's gone and I get back to whatever I was doing. I'm very glad I have so many hobbies to enjoy (even w/o my Warm Fuzzy Friend!), and it's amazing how much more I get done these days!

Keep up the good work -

Chrissie

Hi tiller. It sounds like you are doing great. I love reading your posts because they always fill me with such optimism. You certainly deserve to tame the beast and I know you will! Cheers to more and more AF days!
--pp