Tiller! Oh no, I mean George Baby!!! You're soo much fun to tease.

Hope your week goes better, I am waiting for that moment when my brain will click. I have a feeling it's going to be a ride for myself this week. Had way too much fun super bowl sunday and yesterday with the white wine.

Haven't seen The Decendants, have to check it out.

Zip

Ugh. It's another one of those days.

Woke up cursing myself for being so dumb. Why did I let lizard brain take over last night? Drinking and watching crap TV is such a waste of time -- last night and now today. I'll be tired and blue today when I could be rested and ready.

There was a point early on -- about glass of wine number two -- when Nal brain was not very interested in consuming more. Shoulda listened and left it there. But lizard brain called.

As I said on Zippy's thread today, this is just part of the long slog for some of us (give Zip some love, folks -- she's hurting).

I saw some real, new momentum over the last month and I sense that it's still there. Just gotta plow through a rough patch.

I read a whole bunch of old threads just now and saw how common my experience is at this point. I almost didn't post this grumpy update but I want to keep it on the record to look back on when appropriate.

Now, on to work.

Hi Tiller,

Thanks for your post - you can be as grumpy as you like, otherwise it's not the total, honest picture. (You're wise to be documenting this, for when we all are signed for the Reality TV Series (that Ketch is going to produce)).

Like I was tellin' the Z-Girl, those set backs after progress feel SO terrible. When you had your big breakthrough a few weeks ago, I held my breath to see what would happen next. But really, from the outside it looks like you've held on to that progress very well, w/some occasional mishaps - your progress has been very solid & ongoing. Not really a roller coaster, more like a road with a few BAD potholes...

We mustn't be too hard on our Lizard Brains, as they've stood us in good stead for a long, long time, over the millenia saving our sorry reptile butts in a number of fight or flight situations. Now that we've evolved a little more, we're really puttin' on airs, wanting to - for instance - not drink too much! But even that is possible, if maddeningly slow. You'll get there, I KNOW.

Chrissie

Thanks for the lizard picture on Hess' thread. That's sure how I felt yesterday. Better today after being AF last night.

Duh!

Heya Tiller!

I hit a AF day yesterday too!!! Way to go my friend.

Zip

Wanted to thank ya for all your support I don't have the words for my gratitude.

Zippy's Smiling

Hi Tiller

George or Ryan? I prefer the latter, only because it's my eldest son's name! Seriously, my hubby too is no movie star and only an inch taller than me, but to me he is quite hot, even at 55. I'm sure your wife feels the same way!
I haven't seen the Descendants yet either, but the trailers look good.

I related to your talk of a big trigger. I had one of those this week (hubby going out - which was the only time I drank for years and then only occasionally as I was in AA). Overdid it and felt tired and crappy yesterday and wondered why I bothered. Partying alone -duh! Kids were here but they were doing their own thing. Also I related to your "all days are valuable". They so are, especially when you get to 50. Time speeds up and there is more of that feeling of needing to make the most of every day. Hubby has quite a few friends older than him. One of them died at 60 and another is very sick at 67. You just never know what's around the corner.

Having said that I am tucking into my first glass of wine at 4.30pm with a school picnic to go to (i.e more wine) , a hectic weekend of kids' sport and 12 people for dinner tomorrow night. I hope I don't wake up with a hangover tomorrow. Will try to pace myself.....

You are doing great
Cheers
Sticky

Hey Tiller!

How's it going?

Zip

Hey Zippy -

Thanks for asking. Things are fine. I was traveling a lot last week and also on a bit of vacation. Enjoyed being with family, winter sports with the kids, that kind of thing. Consumed a bit more than I wanted to but nothing alarming.

At this stage I find that I can have AF nights followed, sometimes, by moderate nights and then nights of greater thirst.

I'm thinking three things at this point: I'm in a another plateau that I need to rider out. I'm determined not to let the numbers creep back up. And some more, active, non-drinking behavior going forward will help me find the next downward slope.

Been following you and others and chiming in as time allows. Very inspired by Ketch's optimistic postings!

Hi Tiller,

I'm glad you were away having fun w/ your family, and I know your recent progress w/ TSM made it all the better!

I like your 3 point analysis of where you are...I think I'm in a very similar place: my #'s have dropped in the last month and I seem to be "socked in" on a plateau. But my high nights are now 5, big improvement. Still, anxious to get goin' with this process, and lose the siren call of alcohol. I want to hear - as Ketch said - "not a whisper..." (wow!)

Unlike you, my AF's are usually followed by a hankering for "catch up" time . But of course, they aren't that much fun now, and beer tastes BAD. Just waiting for Lizard Brain to get the message...

Chrissie