Oh...no! Now I'm sad, because I will miss hearing your tales, of progress & promise...some times despair...and now the Happy Ending. Of course I should have prepared myself for that. This is why I really drug my feet to get involved here, determined to just Lurk, but no! And it's been a helpful positive experience for me, this forum, still the downside of people moving on.

Of course, I'm also distraught when favorite TV shows come to an end...The Shield (aaaugh!)...The Wire (waaaaahhhh!). But this is worse because you are a Real Person...out there...that this Global Village cares about...

Maybe we will meet again; in the Cocktail Lounge in the Sky? sipping our mineral water, or Fresca of course...on the way to the gym...

congratulations, Laura
Chrissie

Dear Laura/Ketch

I so agree with you about pushing the AF zone on yourself in order to truly feel what it's like without Alcohol. How freeing it's been for me as well. Ive been AF for 42 days now, lost all my weight and am getting ready to resume TSM. To be honest, I'm scared to go back into the lions den. I've so enjoyed being AF for all these days. It's like I've become alive again, enjoying life sober. It should be interesting to see what happens after that first drink. Wish me luck!

Best,

Hey Laura -- Way to go friend! You've reported some of the most colorful and volatile times in this current wave of TSMers and have come out with flying colors. Congrats!

You found a new direction in your life that took you towards a kind of work you want to do and away from environments -- like tending bar -- which are bad places for boozers. That showed such determination and willpower. You've got such a bright future ahead of you and we'll all be basking in your glow for some time to come.

THAT"S AMAZING, KETCH! i am so happy for you. i took a little tsm board break - still taking the nal though - to see if it would help to not be reading, thinking, etc about the booze during the day. and the verdict is no, not really, it changed nothing. i think what would help would be to go AF for awhile, like you did, and then evaluate. i'm going to try and run with this inspiration you have given me. i am very, VERY happy for you, lady.

--pp

Hey all! Great hearing from you all! I must say, my Final Letter that I will be placing on the cured list soon will sound like an acceptance speech at the Emmy's (which I believe I will win one day!) because I am not leaving out one name of those who have contributed to my treatment along the way. Couldn't have done this without every last one of you!!!!

But I'll save all of that for that last letter.

Okay. The Artic Circle is a bitter and blisteringly cold environment! I don't know if any of you have experienced -56 below.... but it sucks. Both of my pinkies are numb and today I was dangerously close to getting frostbite on the left pinky finger. Now I ask you: How in the world would I be able to pinky swear from here on out if amputation had to occur?? Prudhoe Bay is a white, flat, brisk world that freezes my camera at EVERY turn. I try and try to get quality timelapses, to no avail. I take my glove off to adjust the ISO or shutter speed and bam! Fingers go numb, eyes get all teary, earlobes balloon and expand freakishly, pores on my face become gaping and large--- it is just this side of being absolutely, unbearably trecherous.

That said-- I love what I am doing depite all the challenges!

And, four guys (cute, but taken) have asked me why in the world am I still single? You and I both know why-- but I am not letting the rest of the world in on the fact that I had to take care of a massive craving in my brain first. It's all fun and games until someone falls in love with a hopeless falling down drunk! Right? Christ, I wouldn't have wished me on my worst enemy!! Oh wait... come to think of it-- I was my worst enemy!

Well the TSM mission is accomplished! The other night I had three Coors Lights. Of course I took a Nal+Three Beers= Whatever. Been there, done that, have the scars, DUI's, and a divorce to prove it. Yawn. Boring. Moving on.

To Tiller regarding your last entry of wondering if life or you will become boring without partying, I say-- it is partying that becomes the same ol' same ol'. Not the other way around. Given sobriety, I find that my mind has more opportunities to explore and expand versus lending itself to stale saturation that only impedes and diminishes its fine-tuned capabilities.

At the end of the day I am more or less stringing together a new "Normal" which is being sober. For so long being normal was the antithesis of health. Hungover was often my state of awakening, drunk was my way of being.

The brain adapts. Period. Naltrexone gives us and our brains a chance to do so.

Anyway. A cute field producer told me he was smitten with me. I had no idea. Don't really know how to tread those waters unless uninhibited by a boozey trance. I'm not gonna do anything now. Love herself is literally going to have to knock me over the head with it's undeniable force in order for me to respond to possibilities of romance. Until then, my friends, I am going to continue to globetrot. To Florida, after this production wraps in 3-6 weeks. Then Ketchikan to retreive the Ripster. Then Juneau. Then hopefully Nome and another show.

I am reminded now of that funny saying, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans..."

Still, my itinerary is to return home to Florida: To golf, thaw, and sunbathe.

God, I feel good today.

Hope you all do too,

Ketch

You DESERVE to feel goo, Ketch! You sure have put in your time and effort and they payoff is extraordinary. Love reading all these positive exploits!

Dear Ketch,

I literally have tears in my eyes. Yours is the best, most moving story ever! Congratulations. All TSM'ers real or wannabes should read your thread. Not that many months/weeks ago did you ever think you could get here? TSM WORKS. It takes as long as it takes, but following the method will get us there! (well, at least 80% + of us) I am so happy and thrilled for you!!

Please consider creating a book out of this, Laura. You have a wonderful story to tell and you tell it so well.

NAL ON!

NipIt

Ketch, we are all so very lucky you have posted so often - and in such interesting detail - because now we all get to share your happiness with you all the more. Nipit is right: you have touched many people here with your story. Wow, just a few months ago you seemed to be struggling and then all of a sudden, you broke from the pack and made that mad dash to the finish, wow. (oh, I already said that...make that WOWSER!)

I read a post recently, of a person describing their life as feeling like Leaving Las Vegas...now you have come up with the perfect Disney ending, and how appropriate you are taking a sabbatical in Disney World, rather, "Florida"

I know you feel like you've been to hell and back, but YOU are VERY YOUNG...you've been through a lot and now have your act together...the best is yet to come for you! And all hand-in-hand w/ the great career advances, too, awesome...

Hmmm...maybe a study should be done on the effects of Nal in sub-zero temperatures? Maybe I should rent time in a meat locker?

Chrissie

Hey Ketch

More great news. That is fantastic! (Apart from the numb fingers, but hey, Florida and Ripley await.) What you say about not wishing yourself on your own worst enemy I often used to say about my hubby - if it were me I would never have stuck around with someone like me. I would have run a mile! But then his first wife (I'm no. 3) was also an alcoholic, not that he knew it. Some people like hubby are attracted to people like me. That is an issue in itself. At least TSM has been helpful for us, even though I have a way to go to be where you are at. Maybe a trip to the Antarctic with no grog?!!

Take care Laura. If your movie production ever gets you to NZ you are more than welcome to come & stay, as is anyone else on this great forum.

Love
Sticky

Had to pop in to see what's been going on with you reading about all the great things happening for you. It's so up lifting to read good news! I whole heartdly agree we are our own worst enemy!!! What a relief to finally have another option to allow our brains to readapt and to have a new outlook on life.

All the best to ya Ketch, you are a true inspiration!!!

Zip