Hi Tiller,

I'll just on your thread... I haven't read the whole thing ... just backed up through a few... I agree that "Without Willpower" on the book cover is misleading... based on yours and these discussions.

Why don't I just try to white-knuckle again.... ?

Also, EndofBenders ... cured? or just poof?

Thanks.

Nowhereman - I'm not sure white knuckles work well over time. The idea with TSM is that it eventually makes using willpower more manageable. That's what happened for me and many others.

That said, anything you can do to slow the freight train is a good thing. I've been using some of the tips on dealing with cravings at the smartrecovery.org site.

Endofbenders found his/her goal and was ready to move on. A success story.

Hiya Tiller!

Yep, you are definitely on track. The road will invitably twist and turn and you might even swerve off into the ditch at one point or another... but you are gaining momentum.

I remember being sooooooooooooo discouraged because I was literally able to count my AF days on three fingers in my first couple months. Here's the thing, like Katie explained about triggers-- they are deeply ingrained. So is the craving to drink and then drink some more.

Just know, with every cell in your body, that every sip, chug, shot and gulp of alcohol you ingest-- from here on out, given the fact that you have taken a Nal an hour before doing so--- you are that much closer to regaining control.

Keep up the great work, Tiller!

Winking to you from Alaska,

Ketchikan1

Hey, Tiller man! Good news of late, which is awesome. Endofbenders met his goal and then deleted his threads? Wonder why? I plan on leaving mine up and adding my handle to the regained control/cured list.

Nowhereman, the problem with white knuckling it is what happens when you decide you don't want to do that anymore and drink. The binge is not good. Worse, things pickup right where they left off. I am still reducing my drinks, I figure another month or two, and I will be at the upper limits of moderate drinking. But I may also be way below that. If I decide to drink after that point, it isn't catastrophe, it's just another day.

Hi tiller!!!

I see you hit an AF day, right on mate! How did it feel?

Zippy

Hi Zippy - Thanks for asking. I had been traveling that day and just skipped the nightcap when I got home. A bit of willpower much aided by nal and TSM.

This past week also marked my lowest numbers to date (25). At a going-away party for a colleague I indulged in two shots of bourbon (yum) but kept it to beer --mostly lite -- the rest of the week. I enjoyed drinking beer during yesterday's playoff football games but just did not have the old drive to seek oblivion. Or anything near it.

Some part of the drinking actually seemed boring yesterday. So I figure the extinction process continues in the background.

I feel good about where I am at the moment, making my way towards control, towards lower units and possibly more AF days. Feeling like I'm using a fair bit of willpower but not to the white-knuckle extent. Just letting the process do its job while keeping on a steady path towards control and indifference.

It really did feel a few weeks back like I hit a turn in the road that made all this possible, where TSM made self-control stop seeming unthinkable. Now I'm determined to keep going this new direction.

Congrats on the low total this week, Tiller. There's a lot of great stuff in your post, and I'm really excited to see what happens for you now that you've felt like you turned a corner. I'm predicting good things.

Hell, you even survived playoff football!

I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say thanks for all of your support on this forum.

-H

Of course I must comment here, least you think we are taking your ongoing success for granted...no way! It is still SO appreciated, and enjoyed, your lower #'s and growing confidence. It is a pleasure to hear (read)!

"control & indifference..." you, too will reach the "poof!" stage of TSM, and I miss you already, Tiller...stay in touch

Chrissie

That's so great, tiller - I'm rooting for you . It's great to hear the success stories

Hey Chrissie, BWD, Hess and friends. Thanks for the support. I have a lot of cautious optimism. Gave myself permission to rip a little bit Monday night and paid back yesterday with an AF. But doing well.