Thanks, guys! It's kind of therapeutic for me to tell what I am experiencing. Very few people know in reality. The only people who know the full details are here. The internet isn't exactly anonymous, but it's close enough.

It's slow. I think that's why people run off and do other things and out of impatience modify the experiment. The slow progress is difficult because we are a microwave society and this isn't a microwave problem. This is more of a slow cooker solution. We didn't become alcoholic overnight, it was a matter of time and exposure. Accordingly, it would seem to take time to break that cycle. Just as I don't want to be a drunk my whole life, I don't want to white knuckle either. So, I keep on keeping on.

The end goal of TSM is to preclude me from drinking alcoholically for the remainder of my life. I like that. Simple goal. Simple rules. But that's where the devil in the details rears his head.

The reason I intake a certain amount is I sort of have to. What happens if I don't is the next day I take in more, sometimes 50% more. And sometimes, but not always, I taste it during the day following where I stopped short. I would rather keep tapering than have the spikes. The hang overs are so brutal. To be blunt, I don't like them. I bear them with a smile, but I don't like going through it. The hangovers are getting worse. And that's just fine by me!

I think my intake slowing is happening naturally. Just at a snail's pace. I think that's what causes people to doubt it's working. Worse, they read the book and thin, as I did, 3-4 months and this mess is fixed. If one reads the posts here, it seems to be longer. Not sure why. Maybe it's the lack of counseling or the trial and error approach we are using. I don't know.

HF: I think there are many reasons response times vary. People have different drinking histories, they react differently to the medication and they have different personal life situations.

For example, how optimistic you and those around you are about getting better can help you get better. This recent article was really interesting:

Annals of Science
The Power of Nothing
Could studying the placebo effect change the way we think about medicine?

Read more http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011 ... z1g96B7eK9

There are just so many variables. But what IS clear from this board is that 3-6 months is the short end of the process. When I'm discouraged I sometimes look at the cured list put together by Q. Seems like most people took longer than six months -- or many did, at least.

I know you'll say with it! Keep the faith!

There is a writer in you, by Gum! I am loving your expression!

Yeah, that this is a slow process is an assault on our patience for sure. We do live in a microwave age and for most of us, I think it'll take a year or more. It took Kris two years, but as her thread explains, she hung in there and her perseverance paid off.

I am wondering myself when I will see NOTABLE progress. Yes, there is progress but then severe backsliding. Perhaps that is what is called an "extinction burst."

Naltrexone works deep in the bowels and crevices of our brains. The shifts are subtle outwardly.... but I'll bet inwardly it's a much different story. It's probably as vibrant as a laser light show as Nal settles into the receptors and those poor, little endorphins have nowhere to snuggle in.... so they are just flying and bouncing about.

It would be very interesting to see what's happening in our brain.

But alas! All we are left with are dibilitating hangovers and a steady but s-l-o-w decrease of unit intake and craving. I am tapping my fingers on my desk impatiently as well. Rat-tat-tat. Rat-tat-tat.

I will finish it to the end and whether I can circle my calendar with big letters: REGAINED CONTROL on some random Tuesday afternoon or Sunday morn... I don't care. I just hope it's sooner than later. I've been on the TSM path for 10 months, yet I remain tenaciously hopeful.

Chin up, big smile, and onward go.....

Sincerely,

Ketchikan1

Something I have been contemplating, but don't really have an answer to, is how do I make friends that don't drink? Interesting thought. And kind of horrifying: I don’t know how to make friends without alcohol involved!

I moved a few months before I started TSM, so the few friends I did make, I am trying to avoid. Yesterday, I dropped by a dive bar I had found when I got here. Oddly enough, the bartender recognized me after I hadn’t been in since August. But, the issue that concerned me was a conversation I overheard at the bar. Another patron was telling the story of a regular who was drinking on antabuse. Worse, the guy was being encouraged by other bar regulars to drink. He ended up drinking so much he was hospitalized. They were shaking their heads about this turn of events.

The takeaway I had from this is I don’t want to be around people like that. As long as I continue to take nal, I won’t ever drink enough to be hospitalized. So, there’s no worry of physical harm, but they are toxic to me. The problem is their thought processes and the fact I don’t want to continue this lifestyle. But to find people who do other things!

It’s scary, I am middle aged and realizing I don’t know how to function without alcohol. It’s amazing just how much addictions consume one's life. I am starting to understand a part of ridding myself of the addiction is I must learn to live differently. It's an important part of life to have other people around. Relationships without alcohol being at the center are important. It's important to have friends. I have spent so much time in bars, when I think of going somewhere, that's the answer I get. I know it seems odd I am making a list, but it's truthfully scary that I am having to think about this. To be truthful, I am a little afraid too. With the right amount of alcohol, not too much or little, I could talk to anyone. I am uncertain how to proceed.

Hey HF-- have you tried www.thesinclairmethod.net????

I have a lot of friends and kindreds on that forum!!!

Now I don't mean to be glib but if you love yourself, it opens the door for others to love you. Work on yourself and the rest will follow.

Truly,

Ketchikan1

P.S. You can count me as a friend!

LOL Ketch, I know of this Sinclair Method forum, lots of good people there! Just hard to have a cup of coffee and catch the game with them!

I am working on the rest of it as fast as TSM will carry me! It's a voyage of rediscovery!

you WILL make friends who do not surround themselves with drinking, it will probably take time. it's tougher at your age, but it can be had. maybe now is the time to pick up a new hobby, try something you've always wanted to try or learn - speak chinese, art class, yoga, etc.

you are doing so well - YAY!

Hi HF

This is probably a really boring idea, but there must be millions of people in AA in the US who have happy, healthy, fulfilling lives. If you went to a few meetings and got to know a few of them you could maybe make a couple of friends who didn't drink. It's tricky tho" - I do my token meeting a week but can't be honest with most people about what I'm doing with TSM as it's not very AA...

Actually there are quite a lot of people out there in the real world who don't drink (for all sorts of reasons) - do you know any?

Joining a club might help. At least the main focus will be the sport/activity, not the alcohol. It can be done. Many alcoholics learn to feel comfortable around non-alcoholics who drink socially. I have been to many a social occasion over the years where others are drinking. Sometimes I felt strong, other times not. But mostly I didn't drink. Now thaks to TSM I mostly do drink in social situations. That has its advantages and disadvantages.

I wish you all the best
Sticky

HF, I feel you on the difficulty to meet people without alcohol, especially as we get older. Honestly, I think just meeting people and making meaningful friendships gets more difficult as we get older, and only infinitely more so without the crutch of alcohol. But sticky has a good idea - sports clubs (though they may sometimes involve post-game drinking!) are a good way to bond with people, as are various other meet-up type clubs (pick your poison). Sometimes it's also just a question of reconnecting with acquaintances that you drifted apart from because they didn't drink that much...

Hey HF,

I can definitely relate to how wonderful it is to go to bed and remember going to bed! its generally a really uplifting experience! I was really beginning to think i was totally on the mend because I was having many nights where I either got bored and stopped after a few drinks or just found the taste of the red wine repulsive. So nal on my friend....

Best Wishes,