A little more than a week ago I posted that I was feeling disappointed that I hadn't experienced an AF day, and didn't think I ever would unless I exercised a bit of willpower. The morning following my self-doubt session, I woke up and decided that I would get through the day without a beer -- and did so without any further preoccupation with my decision. Looking back, I think the previous night's introspection and self-doubt unconsciously led to a small personal victory the following day. It was my experience that the decision to "exercise a wee bit of willpower" led to an outcome that bolstered my confidence in both myself and TSM. Now, I don't feel any need to "prove" I can go a day or two without drinking -- and as the days past, I continue to drink less without any effort. I expect another AF day is close at hand, but I don't think it'll "just happen". I will still have to wake up and say to myself "I'm not drinking today, and I'm perfectly capable of doing so without rethinking my motivation." I hope this perspective helps any TSM daily drinkers out there who may be questioning whether a planned, single AF day will sabotage the TSM program. It's my experience that it will not -- in fact, it's very empowering. Likewise, waking up and saying to yourself, "I'm going to moderate just for today -- not more than 3 drinks for me this evening!" -- is not going to have any adverse effects on TSM; it'll just build your self-confidence as well as confidence that TSM is in fact already helping you control your previously uncontrollable drinking urges -- well before you're totally "cured".

There has been the gamut of experience here with the first AF day. Our binge drinkers are used to them. For us daily drinkers, I recall one of had a "forced" series of AF days because the naltrexone refill took a while to arrive; he found the AF experience surprisingly easy. Many of us (including me) have tried to plan an AF day or two but just were not ready. For some, it just "happened." Many others have done it through "a bit" of willpower.

That's why the sharing here is so important. Maybe someone here has been waiting for an AF day to just "happen", then read Netty's experience and made it happen.

Whatever works.

Well said lena! "Whatever works" - it's like you read my mind!

Netty - great post.

I have not kept up with the board this week as much as usual but this one plus something that Potatoe wrote are very important points I think...potatoe wrote that you basically have to put some work into this. You have to consciously seek out healthy activities to replace the drinking. Coupled with your post which I will boil down to positive thinking + planning, I think it's important for all of us to realize that we have to own this process. We can make it work 'faster', give ourselves a hope boost by remembering to put a little effort into it when we are ready. This is not to say that those who have not achieved an af day yet are not trying hard enough, it's meant to say when your cravings are getting to a manageable point, you may need to help yourself out a little.

My experience this week has been that at the beginning of the week I was overdrinking. Almost on purpose - it was very strange. Then I read potatoe's post and thought, 'for goodness sake, your cravings are half what they used to be, why don't you just try a teeny tiny bit harder not to take that first drink'. I thought about it all day and that night, it worked - I didn't take my pill, and didn't drink.

Congrats to you Netty & thanks for sharing your experience.

I'm really happy for your progress Happy! I'm also glad you found my post helpful -- I hope it'll help motivate others as well.

Done with week 8 -- up about 2.5 beers (total 17.4 units) compared to week 7, 'cause I didn't have an AF day. The good news is that I attended two social events over the weekend (an alcohol-centered going away party and my Mother's Day celebration) and didn't drink 1/3 of what I would have pre-NAL -- but still had a great time. Today I'm taking a beer-free holiday to make up for the lack of one last week.

Hi Netty!

That's incredible progress! Didn't drink 1/3 of what you would have pre-NAL at social events? I'd call that AWESOME - congratulations!

9th week was good week -- my best (i.e., fewest beers) so far! Here are the stats:

Pre-Nal 42 units (US)

13-May 1.6
14-May 1.9
15-May 2.2
16-May 2.7
17-May 2.7
18-May 1.5
19-May 1.9
Total 14.5

Week 9, % redux from pre-nal: 65.48%

I drank more than I planned to at the beginning of the week (my goal was to keep consumption under 14 US units), but much less than I would have pre-TSM -- due to the tragic death of a young, adored family member (she died after a battle with brain cancer – leaving behind a terribly distraught husband, parents, siblings, extended family, friends, and, worst of all, an 18 month old baby). I flew back to my home town as soon as I was informed of her passing, very upset at the prospect of attending the funeral and confronting all the heartache (even now, just thinking about my cousins’ loss of their first born daughter brings tears to my eyes – as a mother, I can only imagine the horror of outliving my children). So, to deal with my emotional discomfort, I had a couple of beers at the airport, then a couple of shots of vodka (very uncharacteristic for me) on the plane. That was the extent of my “over-consumption” day. The evening of the day of the funeral, I had a couple of drinks at dinner, and that was it. The following two days (Memorial Day weekend), I drank moderately, even though I was in “maxi-socialization” mode, i.e,.non-stop visits with many old friends and family I haven’t seen in years (I informed a couple close friends and relatives I’m following TSM, and they were all proud of me. I’m very fortunate to have the support network I do).

In conclusion, here’s this week’s testimonial: It felt really GREAT to be in complete control of my drinking for 6 out of 7 days, and to have no preoccupation with alcohol while enjoying the company of those I care so much about. So, although I drank a bit more than I hoped for at the start -- looking back -- I can see this week was yet another “micro” TSM success story to add to my on-going TSM journey.

Pre-Nal 42
20-May 4.4
21-May 2.4
22-May 1.6
23-May 2.4
24-May 2.8
25-May 1.8
26-May 2.1
Week 10 17.5
% redux 58.38%

After the up-tick in drinking during week 10, I decided to start week 11 with an AF day, and carefully monitor my consumption on a daily basis so as not to exceed 3 beers on any one day, and no more than 14 beers for the entire week (that’s two US units greater than research based criteria for moderate drinking for women). The minimal effort (i.e, will-power) I put into maintaining vigilance resulted in the following outcome:

Pre-Nal 42
27-May 0.0
28-May 2.2
29-May 2.9
30-May 2.3
31-May 2.0
1-Jun 1.0
2-Jun 2.7
Total 13.2
% redux 68.65%

For any lurkers or newcomers out there reading this post, please keep in mind that my progress may seem more “textbook” that a lot of folks on this board. I think that has to do with the fact that my drinking history, mental and physical health profile is a close match for those subjects who participated in TSM research studies. In order to test the safety and effectiveness an investigational drug has on a specific condition (such as alcoholism), it’s necessary (to the maximum extent possible) to exclude research subjects that have confounding variables, such as simultaneous/contraindicated drug use, serious psychiatric illness (i.e., severe depression and anxiety), and physical ailments that preclude including the subject for medical trials. I’m providing this information because I know many folks frequenting this board and currently following TSM are struggling with slow progress because they don’t meet the “research subject criteria“ -- and may feel that other folks moving along at a faster clip is cause for doubting the efficacy of TSM extinction protocol -- thus, giving up on the program too soon.

As has been mentioned previously on this board, we’re all serving as “real-world” lab rats, and the data provided from the long-term experiment with TSM will be invaluable to others who have yet to pursue the cure. Speaking in the capacity of a real-world lab rat (and self-identified research junkie), I believe it’s imperative that all newcomers understand the huge variance in the time progression to ultimate success with TSM, and not have unreasonable expectations when they begin the program -- especially if they do not meet “test-subject” criteria described above.

Those of you currently following TSM, and considering quitting due to Naltrexone side effects, should know that I've been following a "modified" TSM protocol using 25mg of Naltrexone one hour before drinking (rather than the usual recommended dosage of 50mg). I'm doing so based on Dr. Eskapa's response to my question regarding the "Duration of Opioid Blockade in the Receptors by Naltrexone @ viewtopic.php?f=15&t=339. Accordingly, if you discover you can tolerate 25mg, and it's effective for you, there appears to be no reason (either financially or physically) to use a greater dosage.