Hi BPM. I don't know how old you are or how long you have been drinking alcoholically, but as a 42 year old female who had been drinking heavily for ten years: I am finally seeing great progress in my eighth month. I was a falling-down-blacking-out-ravaged-mess. I was a binge AND daily drinker.
I will tell you also, I was a wine drinker and I easily polished off a 1.5 liter of Pinot Grigio every night and at times exceeded that intake. I did not see major shifts for months and months. It takes what it takes--and as long as it takes. Remember you are changing that "Super highway" of your neuropathways back to simple country roads. This takes time, my dear.
A couple of things helped me. One, I keep a calendar and record my unit intake and write AF in big letters when I don't drink. And two, I was advised long ago to switch from drinking my beloved wine to beer. I did just that and I drink strong beer so I can't chug it like I do wine. I no longer have a taste for wine. It's funny how that happens in time.
And lastly, relish every success you are experiencing-- big and small. Progress will happen and know with every sip you are that much closer.
Hang in there and please stop hurting your partner... your alcoholism is trecherous enough for her to handle. Plus, it can't feel good to see the damage you've done to her face or whatever after having been violent. I often wondered if a man feels guilty as he gazes at his partner's black eye given to her by the one who's supposed to love and protect her. For goodness sakes, I hope you break that cycle of violence.... there is never a reason for it.
So keep on keeping on and check out some of the threads created by those now on the cured list. You'll see that you are far from being alone in your impatience, hope and journey.
Peace,
Ketchikan1
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