EL,


I’ve been thinking about you knowing you have a tough decision to make, and in my opinion not knowing all the details I don’t think either decision is ethically right or wrong. First and foremost you have to take care of yourself it’s like you and many others have advised people taking Nal to be careful telling their Doctor about TSM if they prescribe it on the premise that they would abstain. No difference, you have to take care of yourself.

Now that being said, sometimes it’s best to just go with your gut feeling. The problem with that is your gut feeling can’t pay the bills. So, that’s where it gets tough, and perhaps you’ve already asked yourself these questions, but here is a few other things you may want to think about.

• How tough was the interview process? Meaning did they sell you on the opportunity or did you have to sell yourself, and fight to get the offer.
• Did you interview with the hiring manager and his/her boss? Meaning was upper management involved in the decision to hire you or is H.R. just trying to fill spots with warm bodies to keep things moving – revolving door as Squirrel eluded too.
• In the interview process did they discuss a probationary period or did that only come up after they got you excited about the opportunity? Plus, they won’t give you an end date???
• How will working for this company look on your resume? Meaning do you think other companies in the future will question your judgment for going to work for a company who surely you knew was being invested, etc…
• Your Comment - (though security IS nice, I own't lie). What kind of security are they offering you? A guaranteed pay check for 3 months? Meaning is it truly a contract or could they potentially let you go at anytime, and as you stated others have posted – with hold your wages?

I could come up with several others but the bottom line is what is your gut telling you, and can you make ends meet without accepting it. If the answer to the last question is no, then you know what you have to do. However, if your gut is telling you not to accept and you can make it freelancing then you probably know what you should do.

I wish you all the best as you sort things out! You’ve obviously got a lot of support here, and everyone has an opinion and I believe everyone truly has your best interest at heart. However, regardless of my opinion or anyone else's you have to pay your bills, so make sure you’re happy with the decision you make and first and foremost take care of yourself.


"All the Best"

Charley

Hi all, thanks for all your advice. First, Weekly Recap time. This week was both a great success and a failure at the same time. I'll explain: I had 5 effortless AF days, which is wonderful. I usually have 3 effortless AFs, and can push for a 4th...but don't usually. However, on the two nights I drank, one night I REALLY overdid it (drank through the nal, befriended strangers and handed out my business card to them even though that HAS MY HOME ADDRESS AND NOW I AM FREAKED OUT, ok, maybe being paranoid...stayed out super late, just chugged the hard liquor, and had a hangover (bad, but manageable) on Thursday). The other drinking night, Saturday, I had the nal experience when alcohol just turns my stomach and I had to give up after 3 drinks (which I am counting as doubles, because I think it was a stiff pour). Even the first one didn't go down well, and my stomach only calmed down once I ate some pizza (doh! late night eating! I'm going to become part of this weight-gain on nal club, aren't I I had a decent time regardless, but I really wish that I would take the nal and moderate my drinking withOUT feeling so sick. That is exactly what gets me into trouble, because then I decide to take 25mg on occasion so I can truly enjoy a social/dining outing. I've noticed another set of side effects, as well. For the first couple hours after I take nal, I really feel on edge, kind of shaky, sort of like I am waiting for some drugs to kick in (harkening back to my drug days, what can I say). I SWEAR I even felt like my front teeth were going a bit tingly and then numb on Saturday. Am I just insane ? Are there no narcotic-like SEs to nal reported? I really doubt that at this point, many months into TSM, I am giving myself psychosomatic SEs, but who knows. They seem to come and go.
So anyways, a grand week total of 18 drinks. Which sounds great, but is less awesome when you factor in that 12 of those were on Wednesday night. But I am really enjoying my weekends when they are less centered on alcohol. Yes, I went to go see some music on Saturday and had some drinks...but this weekend I also went hiking, went to visit a different near-by city, cooked a new dish, watched a good movie, went down to hear speeches at OWS, donated some clothes, had coffee with a friend, watched some gloriously bad TV, and did some home improvement. In the past, it would just have been drinking Friday night. Hangover/maybe reading for schoolwork on Saturday. Drinking Saturday night. Sleeping and tv and takeout and hangover on Sunday. So these are some very real changes, about which I am optimistic. I just wish I could consistently find that off switch, and it didn't have to be often associated with really bad nausea!!!
As for the job debacle...I have not made an official choice yet, because I have not received the official signed offer letter. They have agreed to put an end date (three months) to the trial period, but the contract is apparently not going to reflect the possibility for a permanent offer at the end of this, which is still shady. However, a former colleague of mine, who I trust, used to work there, and his wife still works with the company now in SF. They both only had good things to say, both about specific people and the company in general (though they did agree the pay is kind of crappy). I am now totally confused, because it's possible that this department is better to work for than the company on the whole, but I would still be associated myself with some shady business practices. As one of you said, at this point it comes down to paying the bills. I am trying to decide if I am going to gamble on freelance (and possibly making the bills...but maybe not) or take this offer just to get cash. UGH. I'll keep you guys posted. I hate this job market. Maybe I'll go back to school and get another Ph.D......I kid, I sort of kid

Hi EL,

Sorry about that one night last week (Wednesday), but we've all been there. In any event, I think its wonderful that you are having an easy time with your AF Days. That is really fantastic! And yikes! I used to freak out about giving out my business card to strangers also. I came to the conclusion that its probrably best to list only my town and email address and phone number, and not my actual mailing address on my business card. There are just too many unsavory characters out there. Besides email is probrably the best way to reach people these days. Anyway, I hope the job turns out to be acceptable to you if you decide to take it. Perhaps, as I mentioned it will only be temporary until you can build up your freelance client base. Or, perhaps the job will turn out better than you are expecting. Either way, it will pay the bills and thats very important for your mental and physical health and well being. I'll be thinking about you this week, hoping things turn around for you.

Best,

Hi EL,



Just look at that quote! You've already made so much progress with your drinking, and your numbers are so low that I think any further ground that you gain is going to be hard-fought. 5 AFs is incredible, and eventually you're gonna get past these (relatively rare) binges.

The continuing side effects still trouble me a bit. You've been at this for a decent amount of time, and you know your sh*t, but have you tried any other methods besides halving your dosage to try to avoid se's? Are you making sure to eat a full meal before dosing? Are you typically sensitive to medication?

Another thing I've been a bit curious about is the differences between brands. I had initially purchased the River variety before I got my prescription meds from my doc. I've dosed several times with both types of pills, and while they produce the same effects, the pills themselves have notable compositional differences. The River ones are shaped totally different (flat), yellow-ish, and taste terrible (almost like chalk). My prescription pills are plump, white, relatively tasteless, and definitely coated with something.

I guess this is a long way of saying that maybe you're having a bad reaction to whatever coating is on the US-issued pills (since you are also getting yours via prescription). It might be worth trying to get your hands on a different brand (specifically one of the offshore vendors) just to see how you react. Nothing to lose, really.

Keep up the great work!

-H

I've tried all sorts of food solutions for the nausea (no food, lots of food, some food, bland food, eating before taking nal, while taking nal, after taking nal...etc). What seems to work best is having a small dinner before drinking, right about when I take the nal. But it still doesn't guarantee no nausea (though it usually guarantees no vomiting, unless I really drink too much). Other than taking 25mg, nothing else seems to really cut it. I wonder if it is the coating...my pills are from the doc, and they are round, yellow coated, with a b on the front. The bottle says TEVA, but I'm thinking that's the bottle manufacturer's name, not the drug company's (which is Barr, I think). See here: http://www.drugs.com/imprints/b-50-902-1249.html
I can't really get another kind of pills here (they just fill automatically with whatever generic is around, anyways) but I suppose when I run out I could try ordering online ( much more expensive, however!).
Anyways, tonight I am going out for mid-week drinks and I will try and not repeat last week's mistakes.
Wish me luck.

Hi El, just catching up on your thread. Sometimes we need a blow out to relieve stress - so no harm done.

On the job front, I dug out my UK contract, this is what it stated, "There will be a probationary period of six months from your start date, during which either of us can offer one weeks notice. After this period the notice period will be one month."

I know you've made some good conditional negotiation prooposals - so you are on top of this.

At the end of the day, although you might not feel powerful, you are in a very good position with them.

On the nausea.... you can get anti-nausea medication. Worth exploring?

A.

good luck with your job decision making process. sometimes its good to take a stand and sometimes its nice just to pay the bills! and don't beat yourself up too much about the bad night - 12 drinks is impressive though -just focus on the 5 af days. btw - do you have to have your home address on your business card? i'm sure it's not an issue to who you handed it out to the other night, but just thinking in general since it is your home address.

nal on!
-pp

Well guys, I've decided to accept the job offer (the three month trial period) when I negotiated the contract so that I can leave at any time with no warning, I can continue to do some of my freelance stuff on the side, and I am locked in at only 40 hours a week (so no unpaid overtime can happen). It's a good thing I took this offer because just this morning I got some BAD news...a major project (~10,000 dollars) that I thought was in the bag just fell through; apparently they chose another translator. I'm feeling really dismal about this, as I thought I did an excellent sample chapter and had a good rapport with the author. My immediate thought process was, I want to get drunk tonight. But then it was strange, I thought some more and realized I'd rather go to my hot yoga class and well, just mope the rest of the day. As stupid as it may sound, "just moping' is a good thing for me, as I would generally in the past be unable to stand bad feelings and thus drink them away. Meanwhile, it looks like my boyfriend will ahve to go to Russia all next summer AGAIN, which is really pissing me off because after this summer we had a long conversation where he agreed that we needed to take a vacation together at some point, and that that would come first before him spending all his time and money on his family, work, and research. And nope, now he's going to be broke all year because he's going to be travelling and researching all summer. Bye-bye holiday. I totally understand what he needs to do and why, and I'm not mad at him, per se, but I am sick of living in borderline poverty where every cent he gets from grants goes back into working and every cent I get goes back into medical bills. And now I'm taking a job I will likely hate, that is poorly bad, with a terrible company, just to try and get a bit more money flowing and hopefully do things like take a vacation and well, I wont' have anyone to take it with most likely.
I'm feeling glum. But I'm not feeling boozy, so that's a start.
This weekend I have three birthday parties to attend and I am a bit worried. Two of the birthday persons are the kind to goad me on if I am not drinking enough. I don't really have a plan yet to pace myself but I should get one.

Hey Lou: Life sure is a mixed bag, huh? But it's great that you're moping and not boozing. Stay with it!

I know I could troll back through your posts to find out but I'm lazy: what is your other language and how did you come to have it and a PhD? Just curious about you. I work in a professional writing job that involves a lot of American history and a frequent work with academics, but I'm not one myself.

The BF thing does sound like a drag. But at least you're in the same town! My SO lives in New England and I'm in the Midwest. So one of us is on a plane every two or three weeks to see the other. We both have kids and need to be in the towns where we live until they go to college -- which is another 6 years away. Yikes! But we're strong and make it happen. As you might guess, being alone is a big trigger for me. Solo drinking is my game.

I hope the job turns out to be better than you expect. At the least there's the comfort of a paycheck. No small thing as you so eloquently testify.

All best,

EL,

I am a firm believer in (some) "things happen for a reason.' There is nothing wrong with working 40 hours a week for 90 days to get a paycheck. You can walk away on day 91 (or sooner) or stick with it if you like, and know that you can pay the rent. I betcha you'll get more freelance work soon, too!

Congrats to you on hot yoga'ing instead of boozing today! I went to my first Pilates class today (even with my awful hangover ) and LOVED it, and loved myself for making myself exercise and feel better rather than napping all day which is what I really wanted to do - all while trying to work from home.

Anyway, good luck to you, keep nal'in on, and I really appreciate all of your insightful posts on so many of our threads.