I think that's a FABULOUS total and a great week overall. An AF friday is a miracle (I just had one myself and was like..whaaaa????!!!) and your weekend seemed in control. I know exactly what you mean about not being able to finish drinks...this past Saturday I kept ordering new drinks because I felt like mine had gotten warm, or I had gotten sick of it...but eventually this just meant that I didn't WANT TO DRINK anymore!! (didn't stop me from getting a nasty hangover, but hey, it's a start).
Here's to an even better week!

WOW - your numbers are great!! the nal really agrees with you! an AF friday is AMAZING! keep up the good work!

nal on!
--pp

Hi all,

Week 7 is in the books, and it was a bit of a mixed bag. The week started off promising with 3 consecutive AF days (the most I've strung together since I've started TSM), but a 3 night vacation in Chicago was a veritable mine field of triggers, and I had a few nights where I drank through the Nal and skirted along the fence of the Black Out City.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday - AF

I had no desire to booze after work at the beginning of this week. There was zero craving, and I knew I was going to have some trouble keeping units down in Chicago, so it was easy to abstain for the sake of my weekly total...and I really just did not feel like boozing. We had a team lunch on Wednesday, and I didn't even have a brewski with co-workers...which is absurd.

Thursday - 5.33

A good buddy and I touched down in the Windy City at about 11 pm, which didn't leave much time to cause trouble. I had a few pre/during/post-flight drinks (boozing on airplanes is a novelty that I may never grow tired of), but everyone was feeling pretty worn out once we got situated in Bucktown (where we were staying with friends), so we called it an early night. Things would escalate quickly during the weekend...

Friday - 13.33

We hit the downtown area like camera-wielding tourists, and took an excellent boat tour of the Chicago river and Lake Michigan. I had a nice JB and coke on the boat and a Goose Island during lunch*.

* Full disclosure - these drinks went down before I took my Nal. I didn't want to have one pill last me from the early afternoon all the way through what would inevitably be a late night. I knew I wasn't going to have more than a drink or two until dinnertime, so I didn't see much harm in skipping the early dose. I was also a little wary about double-dosing again, since that turned into a disaster in NYC. I am not happy about how I approached this, because I think I was feeling a bit too cocky since the first part of the week went so well (and the prior week was a big success). The surly sauce would kick my *ss later on for feeling overly-confident. Gaaah.

That night, our crew went down to Wicker Park to eat delicious fancy tacos and mingle with the flannel-clad clientele. I had taken my Nal about an hour before dinner, so I figured I'd be covered for the rest of the night. We barhopped all around WP, which was awesome. Drinks were going down at a reasonable pace, everyone was in a great mood, and the gumby legs made a brief appearance on the dancefloor*.

* Chicagoans love that "Moves Like Jagger" song (which is terrible). I always think having "moves like Mick Jagger" would mean you strut around with your hands on your hips, making simulated pecking motions with your neck/chin and sporting a big frowny grimace. Those are not the kind of moves I'm into.

We ended up heading across town to Lincoln Park to meet up with another surly group at a cool neighborhood bar. We were dominating the juke box, making friends with everyone...I was pretty much dead set on moving to Chicago at this point. I was literally euphoric (probably 8-9 units in, and this feeling is an enormous trigger), and I really should have stopped or slowed down. This is a problem that I really need to get over - I have to force myself to understand that continuing to drink will NOT make me feel any better! Instead, we rolled down the street to a latenight bar, where I crushed another 3-4 bourbons and ended up engaging in a public makeout session with our weekend's hostess (this has really become a troubling trend that started at the beginning of the summer). Things got a bit weird when we got back to Bucktown, and let's just say that I awoke the next morning to the first incident of peeing myself since I started TSM. Super awkward. What's particularly troubling is that I didn't think I was THAT drunk, and despite a few hours of blurriness, I remember going to bed.

Saturday - 16

Ugh. I immediately wanted to numb the embarassment of being an incontinent buffoon, so my buddy and I went back over the river to get some brunch while the girls did whatever it is that girls do during the afternoon. We barhopped around Diversey Ave and met surly fans from just about every Big 10 team. Midwesterners are super friendly, and the day was going great despite last night's indiscretions.

After dinner the girls wanted to hit a bunch of Bucktown bars, so we ended up doing that. We went to a pretty diverse collection of bars during the night, and again, I was starting to feel like a million bucks. I really should've tried to slow down as the night wore on...but instead...the events of the rest of the night were almost identical to what happened the night before. Read into that what you will. Shameful.

Sunday - 5.33

I was dying for a drink by the time I got back to Boston*, but thankfully everything near the train station was closed, so I was had to settle for a grilled cheese instead. I popped a Nal on the trainride back to RI, and struggled through 5+ units at home. I couldn't even bring myself to open the last beer I had queued up, so at least the weekend ended on a positive note.

* The trigger of "feeling sh*tty about getting wasted the night before" was really intense that morning/afternoon.

Total - 40.00

Some thoughts...

That total is not terrible by my usual standards, and I was expecting 30+ for this week...but I had to include a 0.5 for my "BOC Adventures" field because things were really blurry on Saturday night, and while I can remember most of what happened, details are few and far between.

One big thing I took from this week was the difference between habit drinking and binge drinking. TSM is working wonders on curtailing my habit-based drinking (which is mainly during the week, after work when I'm by myself and being a lazy sh*t). My cravings are way down, and I've never had so much untouched alcohol in the house. The Yuenglings I brought back from Delaware are overtaking my fridge, and a bottle of wine I picked up last week is still 2/3rds full. This NEVER used to happen. However...my binge drinking still needs a ton of work...and I supposed that is to be expected, and a few of us have discussed this at length on Ketch's thread. I definitely felt like I was drinking through the Nal this weekend.

I'm really happy that I'm starting to string together AF days, but the nights with heavy units are the more pressing concern at this point. There will be a lot of Halloween parties this weekend, so I'll have an occasion to continue working on controlling my binges.

Anyways, thanks for reading. Looking forward to catching up on everyone else's threads.

-H

Hesster, I agree with you that the habit drinking in a way is easier to curtail earlier on, but the binge drinking remains a problem. I think it's because for us binge drinkers, it's not THAT hard to abstain usually (we are used to having days without booze) but it is very hard to remain in control once we have allotted the night for heavy drinking. What has helped me recently (but I'm not sure if it's cause or consequence) is changing my mindset about what constitutes a "good" night or a "fulfilling" weekend. It used to be that both of these adjectives could really only be applied to nights where I "got my drinking's worth," as it were. Ultimately, I think the binging will just take longer to get under control. The main thing I've noticed is that if I drink hard liquor, quickly, I can drink through the nal; any other alcohol, or if I'm actively making sure to drink slowly, and I can't. At some point I will feel either sleepy, nauseous, irritable, or satisfied (or some combination of the above!).
I know exactly what you mean about feeling euphoric, though, and not understanding that more booze will actually make you feel WORSE, not better. It's very strange, and I think that's exactly what differentiates us from normal drinkers. The euphoria doesn't really happen to me anymore, with nal but that has in turn allowed me to control my drinking much better...so you'll get there.

you've made such a big difference in your drinking already, you should really feel good about yourself!! you will get control of the binge part, it will probably just take some time. just keep taking your nal 1 hour before you start drinking. it's good that you do take the nal, even after you have started, but it is super important to try and get that hour, so you won't knock back multiple drinks before it kicks in and have already started down the road to BOC and golden showers. i'm sure those days are numbered though!

nal on!

Thanks (as always) for the comments, EL and PP.

This week has started out very interesting. I could have easily had four straight AF days (my dad randomly was in town last night and wanted to grab dinner...so I had 2 pints), which makes me feel like I am really eliminating any desire to drink when I have nothing "planned." I've gone two weeks without having a single drink by myself, and I'm really hoping this continues...well...forever.

So I'm at 2.66 units heading into the weekend. I have friends in from Boston and NYC (compounded with whatever Halloween surliness is planned...plus a big Pats game on Sunday), so there will be some challenges to get through over the next few days.

I'm going to publicly declare a goal for this week, as I think it will be added incentive to keep my sh*t together...

<30 units / 3 AF / 0 BOC Adventures.

I think that is reasonable.

Best of luck to everyone out there. For those in the Northeast - stay warm. Snow already??? This reminds me of growing up in Syracuse, NY where you had to plan on fitting your Halloween costume over a snow suit every year.

-H

Excellent progress Hesster. Congrats!!

Hey Hess,

I’ve read through most of your thread, and believe I also need to document my drinking on a weekly basis, but since I started on Nal last night I think I’ll start on Monday with a recap of the weekend but make next week my official first week on Nal.

An interesting thing that I picked up on reading your thread and something I experienced last night, my first night on Nal; drinking through the Nal. I was on my 8th or 9th unit, because I’m a free pourer, units are hard to measure, (I’m going to officially start using a shot glass) but I think I only had about 2 shots left of Seagram’s 7. So, then I made or thought I made the decision to have one more beer, kind of forcing it for some reason, I guess I didn’t have the buzz I was looking for, Idk, but I drank it anyways. About half way through the bottle it went down like normal, and I wanted another, and another, and another; I slammed 3 more beers in about 30 minutes, and took a shot of Rum. I’m not a Rum drinker, but it was the only thing in the house because I promised myself not to buy a bottle of Seagram’s until today. I finally feel asleep / passed out, because the sleeping pills I’d taken an hour and half earlier kicked in.

Drinking through the Nal – Interesting and something I’m definitely going to try and avoid in the future.

Good luck this weekend and I hope you accomplish your goal <30 units and the Patriots win. I respect but hate the Steelers. Embarrassing to me, but I grew up a Cowboy’s fan; I was young and so I didn’t know any better. However, with the Titans in Nashville and a season ticket holder I’m now a diehard Titans fan, so I still hate the Steelers. I will be tailgating and playing lots of corn-hole and hopefully I too can keep my drinking under control and not drink through the Nal.

BTW: I'm still upset over the Pat’s warming the football up (cheater’s) in the AFC Championship game to kick the game winning field goal over my Titans.

But, I do think Brady’s the best of the best and a real class act! Get the defense going and you just might win another Super Bowl.

Good Luck, and again thanks for your words of encouragement.

Hesster, aiming for under 30 units when just a few weeks ago you were at 90+???? AMAZING. Proof that TSM works!!!!

"The Adventures of Hesster: Navigating Black Out City"-- your book will surely be a best seller, bud!

Just caught up with your thread. As usual it is a detailed and exciting description. Funny about that queer dance style. Friends don't let friends Jaggar!

You sound like an absolute blast to party with!

And you are so right about extinguishing the habitual binge drinking, it is so very deeply ingrained and will for many of us be the last way, shape and form to be extinguished.

Always a pleasure reading your posts,

Ketchikan1 (Currently Tampa, Florida1)