Ketch - One thing you can do with your free time is more writing. You express yourself beautifully.

Steady on!

Hey Ketch!

Tiller is right! You should write more...a book even. Ever since I found this forum my Fiance and I having been reading your story like a suspenseful novel where we are always rooting for the Heroine in Ketchikan Alaska. Sometimes we bite our nails with worry and other times we cheer for joy over the large and small victories of our main character.

You are so inspiring and certainely very talented!

We will always be rooting for you down here in Denver, Colorado!

You GO GIRL!!!

~Pam

Hi Ketch

Ditto the above - perhaps you could make your fortune writing a book about your TSM journey and thereby promoting it to some of the masses of alcoholics out there who are not fortunate enough to have stumbled across it yet. 6 days AF - you go girl!!

Cheers
Sticky

Well, there you go, Ketchikan!! It's settled, you need to write!

Hello, my dear friends and thank you for encouraging me to write my life!
Gulp....

Your point is taken!

I am scripting my life and jotting down my memories, horrific and bland, tried and true, dense and obvious, painful and lewd.

All of it.

I am currently on a two day binge: meaning I am drinking two days in a row. The good news is that I have reached the bitter-sweet end of the Jaegermeister Rainbow. Meaning: My time with the black crack is done.

Sigh...

.............of................

'''''''''''''''''''Relief.....................................

Period. Done and done.

That feels triumphant. I am instead aquainting myself to Rum..... I don't normally consume rum HOWEVER, my taste for Jaeger has decidedly soured.

I more than welcome the death of my relationship with Jaegermeister.

Rest In Peace Mother Fu*#er,

Ketchikan1

Hi Ketch,

While awaiting my first shipment of nal, I continue to read your journey with interest. Love your spirit.

I am reading a book now that you might find interesting, on the subject of relearning, or maybe learning for the first time, what gives us pleasure when alcohol is not the go-to rush anymore. It's called "The Compass of Pleasure" by David J. Linden, and it's about the neuroscience of addiction. It is a great resource for any of us who are following TSM and may offer clues to how to boost our pleasure in our new lives.

Even before I start the nal, which I am positive will work for me, I am worried about repairing those poor areas of my brain which have been enslaved for so long. One of the latest developments in my addiction is the lack of pleasure I get from other things in life that used to thrill me...I hope I can get my fun back!!

Keep up the good work. For what it's worth, YOU are a lot of fun! I'm sure you are in person, but definitely virtually as well.

Alexis

Why, thank you Ms. Alexis!!

Welcome to the forum!!!!

That book you mentioned sounds terrific. I am going to order it on Amazon!!!

Good luck on your journey, kitten! You are in good company!

Sincerely,

Ketchikan1

I'm so glad to hear about the jaegermeister Ketch...that stuff is NASTY!!!

Come on Ketch... you know Jaeger is bad news.... but we've all been there.

So how has the move to Jueno been - are you settled in yet?

How you are doing OK,

Andy

Hi all!

Andy, I am still in Ketchikan. Heading to Florida the 20th of this month, returning Nov. 1st then boarding a ferry headed to Juneau November 6th. BTW, love your blog!!!!

I am in one hell of a lazy-ass-rut lately. I dunno why. I have absolutely no motivation to venture outdoors and play well with others. I am a couch-potato-freak shutting myself away from the world.

This too shall pass.

Nothing like relocating to a brand new city to light a fire beneath my feet. I'll have to pound the pavement in search of a job or two and start all over.

I'm in a sh#t mood today. I had chaotic dreams last night about drug use and I was living in the heart of Hollywood again. It was just weird.

And here's the thing. I am still experiencing extremes in this treatment. Either I am abstinent or I am drinking 12-16 units in a session. I wonder if I will ever have the power to have just a couple of cocktails and that be enough. That seems sooooooo impossible for me to accomplish. Tell me how, Electra!

In the last eight days, I have been AF for five of them. However, my last binge which lasted two days, 30 units in all, took a whole day to recover from. Meaning I racked up yet another "vampire" day.

I may not be in the same holding pattern that I was stuck in several months ago, however, I am still in a hostage situation and I AM SICK OF IT.

All or nothing. Complete oblivion or clarity. AF or drink until pass out.

Why do I suffer in these extremes? Is there such a thing as a happy medium?

The one saving grace in my life is that I have tweaked my diet and I physically am feeling much better. I eradicated bread, sweets-- except for peanut butter celery sticks, and junk food. I have been eating soup, chicken noodle primarily, yogurt, string cheese, beans, peas and rice.

But please, if any of you locate my good mood that has somehow been misplaced, please return it to me. Private message me and I'll give you my address. I'll even throw in a stamp!

Have a happier Sunday than I am having,

Ketchikan1