Good luck with the move. Here's hoping that new surroundings make the TSM trail easier.

Hello.

Well, I have a month before I go on vacation to Florida and I am no longer working. So this period will prove to be significant in regards to how I choose to fill the time. Here's the deal--Vacation October 20-November 1, then return to Ketchikan and pack up my dog, car and belongings and hop on a ferry bound for Juneau November 5th.

I am forcing myself to go to the gym today. I must replace drinking with better behaviors. Plus, excercise produces an endorphine rush and that is what I am aiming for.

After that eight-day-bender-from-hell, I experienced three days AF. Patrick, with whom I reunited after 15 years on Facebook, then he moved to Ketchikan a week later to work the busy season up here, is leaving this Monday. I must admit, his departure saddens me as he has been a great comfort to me being here, so close, after all these years. We have had some exceptionally tender and passionate interludes... it's been nice. However, we partied like rock stars a couple of nights back and I ended up having 35 units in a two day period. Still very high numbers. I had an AF day yesterday and am hoping for the same today.

I am really going to focus on discerning between habitual drinking as opposed to having a true craving. I am in my 29th week, yet my alcoholic tendency seems so deeply engrained that I am realistically planning on six more solid months of bumpy road.

Though I have $$$$, since I no longer have income I have decided to drink canned beer. Grody canned beer. But I am frugal and plan to stick within budget no matter how gross the beer tastes.
I'd rather not spend any money on booze at all....

I'll keep you posted,

Ketchikan1

Ketch, it sounds like you're making all the right choices and steps towards your goal of drinking moderately! I am confident that with time TSM will work for you - you are in some ways its biggest cheerleader Good luck and keep us posted.
EL

The Florida sunshine did wonders for JDog. It might be just what you need.

Do you have family there or is this for 1-month of partying?

I've got some bad vodka memories from South Beach!

Take care, A x

What's the old joke? If you got memories, it could not have been that Bad!

Hi guys! It's been awhile since my last post so I feel the need to check in.

All of my family is in Florida. Tampa and Sarasota. And you are right, Andy, I think the sun will do me a world of good. It's damn gloomy here.

So, I will most always look on the bright side of things. That being said, the good news is that I have chalked up 9 AF days this month. Since today is the 27th that equates to: 1 in 3 days=AF.

But not so fast.

I am AF today after another binge, this time lasting four days. Total units-- 61. Beer and Jaegar. What else?

When I started TSM 30 weeks ago I was a daily drinker who also binged. Now I only binge, but for days at a time still. Nonetheless, this last bender was only 4 days and that is much... believe me.... MUCH better than that 8-day-fiasco-of-a-bender-from-hell I survived through a couple weeks back.

Progress. Progress. And more progress.

Because the AF day after a binge seemingly becomes a "vampire" day, I have been holed up in my apartment all day watching Netflix and healing. I feel like shite. But I earned that consequence.

Tomorrow I am heading out to walk around Ward Lake. Get my poor dog Ripley out in the fresh air as he is held captive with me due to my brain-craved choices.

Not much else to report. Hope you all are fighting the good fight.

Peace out,

Ketchikan1

Well, a four day binge is about half as bad as an eight day binge In all seriousness, I think getting some sun and relaxation will likely be really good for you. Just don't buy any more Jaeger!!!! It's evil crack. (I personally hate how it tastes....but I know many other people with Jaeger issues).

Hey Ketch!

Wow! 9 AF days this month...that is awesome girl! I know you have had some struggles recently but I find it so encouraging that you are still moving forward.

I am really excited that my Fiance has started the Nal. He didn't feel so good these first 2 days. At least now I can say the side effects I felt weren't all in my head like he thought they were.

So I think some Florida sun, the beautiful blue ocean and a sandy beach should really do you some good. I am jealous! Do they sell Jaeger down there? Try to just stick with your 'grody' canned beer if so. I hear you on not wanting to spend money on booze at all. I don't even want to know how much I have spent over my life on that stuff. Probably enough to buy a really nice car or even a fancy vacation every year.

Nal on my friend!

~Pam

Holy Goodness!!!

So, I am enjoying GREAT strides in my 30th week in TSM. In the first three days of this seemingly epic week, I have been absolutely AF. And I have a big bottle o' Jaegar in my freezer. But I decided to pick up some beer--

Sorry, call me a snob or simply a girl with somewhat high standards...but... I cannot drink canned beer. That being said, I picked up a 12 pack of coors light bottles. I had about 5 as I removed pictures, hanging stained-glass stars, and an assortment of whimsical artwork dripping from my ceiling and adorning my walls. God am I ready to move to Juneau!!!!

Decided to indulge in a shot of the dormant Jaeger and poured it. "To my future," toasted I into the invisible skies. As the dark substance hit the back of my throat, I nearly puked! Seriously!!!!

That's the beauty and ugly reality of this very effective method! What was once coveted and duly enjoyed becomes gut-wrenching. My love affair with Mister Jaegermeister became sickeningly sour. I now have a true aversion for it. How 'bout it????

WOW!!!

I am impressed! I never thought anything, anyone or any method could outdo, outsmart, outrun or outguess the bullying alcoholic smugly smirking within me....

Kudos to you Naltrexone. You are a heavyweight champion in my boxing ring.....

Sincerely,

Ketchikan1

Kinda makes you think that Jaeger is actually nothing more than an opiate delivery system. No reward = no attraction. Great to hear the news. Nal-On!!