Hi Ketch

Sorry to hear you were underestimating your drinks. Boredom must be a huge trigger for you. Are you going to be performing in Juneau?
Salmon is one of my favourites.
I hope things have improved.

Cheers
Sticky

Hey all.

Sticky, I had a dream about you... you looked very beautiful. Do you know of the actress Carey Lowell? She played on "Law and Order" and is married to Richard Gere. That is how, in my dream recently you appeared. You were shopping and you tried on a very pretty scarf... weird, eh?????

Anyway, I am unable to tame the beast, who is rearing her VERY ugly head as of late. My God, I have been totally drunk for the past seven days. That is a great deal of alcohol to absorb. I'm serious.

This morning I announced to myself that, "Today will be an AF day no matter what. My liver needs a break, my life needs something new"... but no.... the craving in my brain trumps all. And so I went to the store with great intentions.... I purchased a modest normal bottle of pinot grigio with an addition of two single bottles of white wine....

Yeah, right.

As if only seven units will satisfy. Har-dee-fuc**ng-har.

So back I went at 8:30 pm to purchase MORE booze. A six pack of Alaskan White and a sizable bottle of black crack. Otherwise known as Jaegarmeister...

I am drinking at PRE-Nal levels in my 28TH WEEK....

Really???????????????

Really,

Ketchikan1

Ketch, hang in there. We've all had these horrible moments of doubt. TSM is a roller coaster as you well know. But you WILL get there. Just keep taking your nal and be patient.

Ketch,

You are at a time in your life full of major transition. This might be a huge extinction burst, hang on and ride it out.

Hey Juno... what is it with Jaegarmeister?

It really is not good for anyone... even ze Germans that make it!

Patience my child... you will get there soon.

It's a blip on the road to recovery... enjoy extinction.

How are the blackouts doing?

Take care A x

I arrived via womb into this world exactly 42 YEARS ago today. In the state of Michigan. Wanted. Not accidentally predisposed.

I am on the binge of binges. Really and truly.

Lots o' beer. Only the stong brews need apply. And Jaeger.

Sooooooo....F-U-C-K=ng STOOPID.

I am a train out of control. I am a thought unrecognized,

I suck. I am totally drunk.

And on a crime spree.

Russian roulette, Mother F*&^ers,

Seeing double.

Ketchikan1

I am so sorry you feel like this. I have been reading your posts, and I think you are going through a tough time right now and in the past you turned to alcohol for the comfort. Because you aren't getting the endorphins, and the hang overs should be pure hell, you may be having one helluva extinction burst. But that doesn't really matter for now.

I hope this passes soon and you are ok, with no negative outcomes.

Finally! My binge slash eight day bender has finally ended.

I am lucky I lived through this one because the total amount of intake in the eight day run was a grand total of 110. That is a lot of booze, folks. I have not partied like that in a long, long time.

Andy, you asked about blackouts. I have no recollection of writing that entry yesterday on my thread. None whatsoever. And it is a stupid entry. But I am going to leave it there so I can be reminded of how I get when I'm totally wasted. Plus, my birthday is today--- not the 15th. For Pete's sake. That was BOC, the kind Hesster writes about. Black Out City.

I am having a bed day. Not a bad day. A "bed" day where I stay in my cozy bed and watch Netflix and visit Facebook and answer the occasional call. I have no intention of leaving my apartment today.

I am astonished at the amount of alcohol I drank. I didn't see the bender coming so I am really in a state of shock. I certainly spun out into oblivion.

That's okay. I survived. I am having an AF day today. And I hope to rack up three or four of them this week. Only time will tell if this episode was a real extinction burst. We shall see......

This sure is an unpredictable ride. I hope it's worth it in the end!

Onward,

Ketchikan1

P.S. Hope you guys are all doing well!

Glad to see you on the other side of that bender. Hopefully you were taking nal teh whole time and it will serve as LOADS of extinction !!!!
Good luck from here on out.

Do you think so Electra? I did absolutely take Nal throughout the eight day run, do you think I extinguished some triggers in there?

I sure as hell hope so. I don't want many more benders like that. Totally out of my mind and drunk.

Here's the thing-- I am still getting the warm/fuzzy glow from drinking. It's just taking longer and I drink more to ensure that endorphine reward and rush.

It will work out in the end.

How are your interviews going? Any luck??

You can, of course, use me as a reference.

Over and out,

Ketchikan1