BWD, it happens (drinking through the naltrexone). I think it only takes a few times to realize how crappy that feels though, and to start dreading that nal-over after a bender. I sort of drank through the nal last night myself....but that was because I was only on 25mg. Would you consider taking 75mg? It's too soon to do it, I think, but some people have had great success with higher doses.
Anyways, it sounds like we've both been having pity parties, but in the end progress is being made

Oh, I'd definitely take 75mg (or 100mg) if needed. The thing that really amazed me was that in the event, even though I was forcing it down and working hard on getting more alcohol, I still ended up leaving beer but remaining conscious - that's just unheard of in the past if I haven't had work the next day. Even after that night, my weekly units are only up slightly from the previous two because the daily "normal" seems to be falling.

Had an AF day yesterday (although I took a Nal "in case"), and at this moment I'm inclined to have another today. My pity party was basically about the fact that I was drinking and expecting the horrible aftermath [which didn't happen] - now how sad is that??!!

Thanks to everyone for allowing me to post and all your support

Not a good night last night. For whatever reason, felt the need to get trashed and duly set about doing so despite the Nal. It was hard to force that much beer down (ended up with Baileys, some 29 units in total), and as expected didn't give the pre-Nal feelings of pleasure. It has produced all the usual negative consequences and feelings though; at 5:30 I'm just starting to feel human enough to get up. My wife, understandably, is very upset and unhappy asking how many more times she'll have to go through that. I'm really hoping that the one blackout-drunk will be enough to not do it again.

I don't know why there was the compulsion to drink to unconsciousness (and which I was rationally aware), and desperately hope there are no repeats

Awww you'll feel better soon. For what it's worth, I've had probably 5-6 BAD nights on five months on nal...and nothing near as bad as before. A bit of grey-out, some (controlled) vomiting, staying out too late, nasty hangover the next day. Would I like to never see those nights again? Yes, yes I would. But I figure they used to happen every week, if not more often, so once a month right now seems a good rate for extinguishing triggers. I more and more don't see the appeal of drinking though nal. You're just starting - you'll get there!
EL

Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear that you had a bad night. What you wrote above is really important. Emotions trigger drinking. When you feel up to it, it might be worth trying to figure out what the reason was. I read a book a while ago that I found very helpful, it's called The Heart Of Addiction by Dr. Lance Dodes. Dr. Dodes (sounds funny) says that

Best

Curi

Hang in there BWD. I had a few bad days like yours early on in my first little while on TSM. It takes many, many, weeks to work for long time drinkers.

It is my experience and my analysis of the many journals on this site, that for a hard, long term drinker (like me), TSM will fix you after between 32 and 52 weeks of dedicated treatment.

My wife told me that she believes in me finally last week and that was after 21 weeks, and a few really bad days. I am struggling a bit right now myself, but I know I can't expect to be fixed until at least October fully. But I have seen amazing progress..

All the best BWD.

Thanks for the encouragement folks .

Ah, a new Saturday, and a new day of hope. Courtesy of Sunday's debauchery my weekly total is way up, but since that things have settled a lot. Last night I had 1.75(!!) cans of beer - the last quarter didn't get drunk because I just didn't want it. We're being forced to go shopping today (fridge is packing in) so previously under these circumstances I'd either have a mild hangover and be resentful that I'd had to stop, or be trying to justify buying online sight-unseen. As it is, I'm feeling quite fresh, happy to be go leaving the house [not something I normally do apart from work], and slightly pleased with myself.

Equally strangely (and wonderfully), I don't have any desire to drink today, either. I'm sure that by the end of the day that'll change and I'll have some tonight, but pretty sure that it'll be a "reasonable" quantity. A large part of Sunday's unpleasantness, I think, was a need to confirm that I don't feel euphoric or high even when getting drunk-to-unconsciousness; from that point of view, it was a success as it was physically difficult and uncomfortable to force down that much alcohol. I don't see it happening again - hope I'm right!!

In other strange news, I think I'm learning the difference between hangovers and recovering from alcohol poisoning (my wife says that I used to show all the symptoms listed at http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/alcohol-poisoning/Pages/Symptoms.aspx). The difference between feeling hungover and being virtually unable to get out of bed is interesting.

Thanks for the book reference, Curi; I've got it on order . And thanks again to everyone for their words of support and encouragement. I haven't posted much on anyone else's threads this week because I've been licking my wounds, but with what I expect to be a good weekend starting my frame of mind is improving again. Nal on, folks!

Great recovery from from your bad night. Keep going BWD! I hope you have a terrific non-hungover day!

Interesting (again); because of some bad news, my wife wanted to drink tonight and I duly joined in... But only half an hour post-nal. At first, it felt like I've made a really bad decision, because the glow & great feeling were there together with the "just give me more" feeling - but now,I'm slowing down and (thank God) feeling a chance of regaining control again for the night. I really hate with this pathology how good intentions and honest intents get cast aside at the addiction's whim.