Oops, forgot the units:

Week 1: 1,8,AF,3,AF,AF,3.5 total 15.5,3AF Week 2: AF,8,8,AF,AF,4,8 total 28, 3AF
Week 3: 4,8,AF,8,AF,5,AF total 25, 3AF Week 4: 16,AF,8,7,AF,10,AF total 41, 3AF
Week 5: 7,12,8,AF,8,AF,8 total 43, 3AF Week 6: AF,5,12,AF,AF,8,AF total 25, 4AF
Week 7: AF,14,AF,6,AF,5,AF total 25, 4AF Week 8: 8, AF, 12, 12, AF, 1.5, 1.5 total 35, 2AF
Week 9: 12, AF, 10, 2,AF, 10, AF total 32, 3AF Week 10: 9, AF, 10, AF,1.5, 6.5, AF total 27, 3AF
Week 11: 12, AF, 14, 3.5, 1, AF, 7.5 total 38, 2AF Week 12: AF, 8 AF, 9, 2, AF, AF total 19, 4AF
Week 13: 8.5, AF, 9, AF, 12, AF, 14 total 43.5, 3AF Week 14: 7.5, AF, 8, AF, AF, 9, 9 total 33.5, 3AF
Week 15: AF, 9, AF, 9, AF, 9, 10 total 37, 3AF Week 16: total 34, 2AF
Week 17: total 32, 3AF Week 18: total 34, 4AF
Week 19: total 33, 3AF Week 20: 32, 3AF
Week 21: total 38, 3AF Week 22: 29.5, 4AF
Week 23: 34.5, 3AF Week 24: 36, 4AF
Week 25: 30.5, 3AF Week 26: 29, 3AF
Week 27: 22, 4AF Week 28: 33, 2AF
Week 29: 24, 4AF Week 30: 23, 4AF
Week 31: 19, 5AF Week 32: 29, 4AF
Week 33: 29.5, 3AF Week 34: 20, 3AF
Week 35: 35, 2AF Week 36: 20.5, 3AF
Week 37: 30, 3AF

It's really amazing how much of a difference the full hour (or two - I do that as well, often) makes with nal. It just does not work as well without it. Good luck staying under 20 this upcoming week!

Thanks EL

Actually feeling quite disheartened right now as came home from my once a month book club to have hubby pissed off - "Are you drinking?" Me - "Yes, just one while I log into my website". Hubby - "We'll see - blah, blah" This is not working (TSM.)" Not nice. I'll be on the couch tonight.

Take care everyone
Sticky

So sorry to hear you are disheartened sticky. I think that where I am lucky is that a) I have a very supportive partner and b) ironically enough, said partner has been away for months, thus only hearing about the good and not seeing the daily ups and downs of TSM. It must be very hard for you to keep faith when your partner is doubting you. But since TSM is based on SCIENCE, ultimately I don't think it matters much if you get disheartened or not - it will still work.
However, I guess my one piece of advice (and I can't believe I am giving advice about drinking less!!!!) is this: sometimes, when I am thinking about having "one more," I go through the process of visualizing that drink and in explicit detail thinking about how it will make me feel. And I sort of talk to myself about why I want one more drink, why that will make me happier than not having one more, etc. The habit is still there - if I don't think it through I will definitely have one more. But if I slow down enough to think about it, I usually realize that there is nothing much to be gained by having one more, and a lot of personal pride to be gained by NOT having one more. (This works best when still moderately sober, obviously...if it's drink 11 or 12, not so much...). It does help, as well, that generally more alcohol makes me feel sicker these days...I don't wish that upon you, but maybe try and tune into your body more, and see how the booze makes you feel? I find that even if the "top" layer of me feels alive and buzzing, usually there is some grossness below that, if that makes sense.
HAng in there Sticky, we're all rooting for you!

Hi Sticky,

Despite your ups and downs it looks like you are getting there It might be worth your while waiting a little more than an hour before drinking, I know the longer I wait after taking Nal before drinking, the less I want to drink, maybe aim for 90 minutes? Also, don't forget to eat something and if you're up for it, drink a pint of water before you start your 1st glass of wine. These are well known abstinence tactics but the truth is that they do work, we often crave alcohol because quite simply we are hungry and/or thirsty.

Best,

Curi

Sticky, if anyone deserves TSM success: It's YOU!!

No one is more diligent and hopeful than you are! I agree with Electra and Curi-- you are right on track. You just have a lot of triggers in play and so the pharmalogical extinction will take a little bit longer, because your drinking behavior is so deeply engrained.

One by one those candle lit triggers are blown forever out. That's how I visualize it anyway.

I think your husband just wants you to succeed so badly that he is simply frustrated. You know how men get when they feel powerless to "fix" a situation....

You keep on keeping on, my love.

The finish line is just around the bend!

Hugs,

Ketchikan1

Aww guys (ladies)

Thank you so much for your support and words of advice. I felt bad after blabbing about hubby being mean. Not sure how many people's weekly progress reports I posted it on!. Was probably past the point of talking myself out of just one more, but your suggestions are helpful. If I don't drink tonight my total will be 16 this week, but that is with 5 days AF. If I can halve my consumption from 8 or so drinks to 4 (half x 750ml btl wine instead of a whole bottle) I will be in a better position to talk myself out of drinking and will feel much more rested the next day. I agree re food too. The idea of a big glass of water before drinking is good. Mine is usually a small glass if at all.

Hubby was probably just tired and grumpy. Overall he has been mostly very supportive and hopeful TSM will work. Usually I am hopeful too!

Cheers
Sticky

Hangovers are a huge negative reinforcement for me, after years of being sober I have gotten used to waking up fresh in the mornings and I just hate not to be in top form during the day, now. And not having to try to piece together the night before or not having to try to make up for my bad behaviour the night before is a big motivator for me. When you wake up feeling good about yourself because you didn't drink and do stupid stuff and argue with your husband the night before, you have a bounce in your step and good things usually follow. I think the more AF days you have the more often you will appreciate this feeling and the more you will hate the hangover days and the more you will try to avoid them, it takes a little time but that will come. Also, I always found it much easier to not start drinking at all than to try to moderate once I'd started. For example, my witching hour was around 6, if I managed to get passed that time and to dinner without drinking, I was ok for that day. What time is your witching hour ? (if you have one). Plan around it, how can you avoid reaching for the bottle at that time? Remember to eat, especially some protein to avoid sugar crashes, and to drink lots, preferably water but soda is good too, anything to keep hydrated, this really, really helps!

You're doing great!

Hi everyone

Thanks Curi. I think my witching hour varies, but generally around 6 like you. Last night I thought hubby might go out and if he had I would have had a few drinks. This is an old habit and trigger - in my years of AA and mostly abstaining, if I drank it was always secretly & usually when hubby was out. He didn't go out, so last week's total was down to 16 with 5 days AF. This is partly b/c I was quite hungover last Thurs so kept Thurs & Fri AF. I agree re the hangovers - I feel great after AF days, but I still get cravings after a day or 2 AF.

I am still really enjoying being able to drink in social situations. On Sat night we had two of my friends who trained with me to become flight attendants 25 years ago and their husbands around for dinner, and it was good to have a few. I must admit my few was way more than their few, but they (the girls) were driving. Sometimes I try and slow my pace to match others' drinking. That helps and makes me realise how little most "normies" my age do drink!

Tonight I will drink and will try to stop at that half bottle. I'll wait 2 hours before the first drink, eat dinner and drink a big glass of water.

I looked up the TV program "Intervention" on the web and can access episodes. Not sure how much data it will gobble up, but perhaps no more than watching a local show on demand. Will give it a go.

Hubby and I got over our misunderstandings, but he did remind me how much my vanishing acts have upset and worried him. I guess every time I go out and drink without him, he wonders if I will come home that night or several days later! Hopefully that is a thing of the past.

I hope everyone is going well.

Cheers
Sticky

Week 1: 1,8,AF,3,AF,AF,3.5 total 15.5,3AF Week 2: AF,8,8,AF,AF,4,8 total 28, 3AF
Week 3: 4,8,AF,8,AF,5,AF total 25, 3AF Week 4: 16,AF,8,7,AF,10,AF total 41, 3AF
Week 5: 7,12,8,AF,8,AF,8 total 43, 3AF Week 6: AF,5,12,AF,AF,8,AF total 25, 4AF
Week 7: AF,14,AF,6,AF,5,AF total 25, 4AF Week 8: 8, AF, 12, 12, AF, 1.5, 1.5 total 35, 2AF
Week 9: 12, AF, 10, 2,AF, 10, AF total 32, 3AF Week 10: 9, AF, 10, AF,1.5, 6.5, AF total 27, 3AF
Week 11: 12, AF, 14, 3.5, 1, AF, 7.5 total 38, 2AF Week 12: AF, 8 AF, 9, 2, AF, AF total 19, 4AF
Week 13: 8.5, AF, 9, AF, 12, AF, 14 total 43.5, 3AF Week 14: 7.5, AF, 8, AF, AF, 9, 9 total 33.5, 3AF
Week 15: AF, 9, AF, 9, AF, 9, 10 total 37, 3AF Week 16: total 34, 2AF
Week 17: total 32, 3AF Week 18: total 34, 4AF
Week 19: total 33, 3AF Week 20: 32, 3AF
Week 21: total 38, 3AF Week 22: 29.5, 4AF
Week 23: 34.5, 3AF Week 24: 36, 4AF
Week 25: 30.5, 3AF Week 26: 29, 3AF
Week 27: 22, 4AF Week 28: 33, 2AF
Week 29: 24, 4AF Week 30: 23, 4AF
Week 31: 19, 5AF Week 32: 29, 4AF
Week 33: 29.5, 3AF Week 34: 20, 3AF
Week 35: 35, 2AF Week 36: 20.5, 3AF
Week 37: 30, 3AF Week 38: 16, 5AF

Hi Sticky, that is an awesome week, well done!!!!! You are down to safe drinking levels. How did all those AF days feel? I bet you felt pretty refreshed each AF day. Believe in yourself, you CAN make this your new standard and if you do you're very nearly there. Make AF your norm but allow yourself to drink in social situations, that sounds pretty "unalcoholic" to me. I really happy for you, keep marching forward towards the finish line.