Hi Ketch

It's great to hear you sounding so positive about TSM and losing interest in alcohol. Keep up the good work!

Cheers
Sticky

Hello all.

I am in the middle of my 25th week and I am experiencing yet another AF day!!!

Though this is a day off and I am MIGHTY LAZY. Damn. I am a slug lately. Yes, this is a very definite vampire day, where I dare not venture out of my front door. So I had Chinese food delivered and kind of stayed on the couch. Read, channel surfed, lounged. A lump of flesh am I.

I am too comfortable here in Ketchikan. I hide away in my cozy, little cubbyhole apartment and waste time and life.

So I am happy to be moving to Juneau in November. I have this quote hanging on my kitchen wall:
"Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind." --Seneca

I am a gypsy anyway. I thought to myself as I looked around my pad, up at the ceiling where I have stapled 100 vibrantly colored maps from around the world, "Will I miss it here?" My whimsically decorated place with mega cable on a big tv? Will I miss this?

Nah. I don't miss anywhere I have ever traveled or lived. I miss people. I miss the keg parties of my youth. I miss my ex from time to time. But places are just places... meant to be explored and conquered.

And by God I am sober again today. 12 step what??? What a joke. Thank God I am not white knuckling it in that stuffy room bemoaning my incessant craving to drink... sipping on bad coffee and glancing at the fake flowers and bullshit sayings strewn about the place. "One day at a time." How about this:"One Nal at a time." That's the much better way!

I am happy to see the recent surge of new people who have found their way onto this amazing forum. I say welcome everybody. The journey starts here.

Hope everyone is well and safe from earthquakes, bombs and hurricanes named Irene tonight.

Tonight I Nal pleasantly on with much success and clarity.

Nighty night,

Ketchikan1

Hi Ketch

Don't feel bad about being lazy! Just keep up the positivity about your progress with TSM. You must visit New Zealand one day - it is very beautiful.

Nal on...
Sticky

You know, it's funny that you mention laziness, as ever since I have been having a lot less to drink, and more AF days...I feel like I've become increasingly lazy. For several reasons...1) is that the slightest bit of a nal hangover basically incapacitates me, and I end up spending the entire day on the couch eating junk food and watching tv :/ 2) is that I guess I feel like I exert so much energy thinking about not/drinking and worrying about stuff that I am really proud of myself when I accomplish my drinking goals and then...don't do much more after that. Lol. I kind of expected that when I stopped having crippling hangovers and benders I would become the world's most energetic and productive person....it hasn't happened. I've always been rather energetic and quite productive....but those levels haven't changed. My free time has just gotten a lot lazier. Not sure what to make of this!!!
Either way I agree with you Ketch that a change of scenario might be just the thing. I grew up with a lot of Seneca being read to me by my mother (strnage household...) so I hear you
Good luck!

This entry will be short and sweet.

Today marks the beginning of my 26th week. I am experiencing my second AF day in a row, my tenth AF day this month. This is an amazing achievement!!!!!

I don't know about anyone else but this is how Nal is working very effectively for me:

1) I am no longer preoccupied by drinking. Thoughts of drinking and craving alcohol is no longer prevelant in my conscious mind.

2) The extreme, dibilitating and horrific hangovers that I face the day after an episode of heavy drinking is enough to keep me away from alcohol. I liken it to the effects of antabuse, though I have never taken that. But I do get very, very dizzy, fatigued, antisocial and depressed after throwing back 10-12 units. The hangover is just not worth it!

So I am having to behave my way into new thinking. Just like when I quit smoking. What do I do instead of drinking? How do I fill the spaces and time if not in oblivion?

This is a better way of living rather than asking myself-- Did I do something stupid last night? Why does my elbow hurt and my knee have a gash in it? How much did I spend last night?

This treatment bodes well for me. Despite not having an initial "honeymoon" period, I am certain that I am in the 80% group that succeeds at TSM.

Organizing stuff today. Making a pile to be donated to Salvation Army. Getting ready to move on to Juneau. All is well.

Hoping your world's are turning just as smoothly today,

Ketchikan1

Ketch,
Great to hear from you, I was wondering how you were doing. Even better hearing that you may have crested the hill. I'm in the middle of week 14 so you're a bit ahead of me. Hopefully I can have the same feeling around the same time.

Great to hear it Ketch! Nal on!

WOOOT! Glad to hear things are finally turning around for you. Who knows, the change of scenario might just jumpstart things even further in your cure!

BTW, congrats on your AF free days! I am so happy for you!!!

Hi Juno (nee Ketch),

You wrote in another post:

"TSM and it is working. It absolutely is. I am having an AF day today and had 5 last week."

That is absolutely f*cking fantastic. There was a time 1 month ago when you seemed to be losing the belief that things would eventually work out. Note - you never stopped trying or gave up hope... but you didn’t seem confident that you would ever turn this corner - so well done you.

To better days ahead A x