Nal + florida sunshine + hard work + alcohol = a good life

well done - you are a star!

Well, I've had 3 big drinking days at the beach. NAL of course, 1 hour before each time. 10-12 units per day. No bad behaviour. I'm just kind of rolling with it right now. All the best to everyone on the board.

Hello everyone. I have had a few, so I guess I am posting under the influence. POI. Not driving or doing anything dangerous or destructive at least.

Being at the beach on vacation is tough. I used to drink from 12 noon onward, and at various speeds throughout the day. As bad as it sounds, in past beach vacations, there were times when it was a bit of a struggle to hold off until 12 noon until I started.

The thing that is notable about Wed was that I seriously considered not drinking. I didn't really want to. I went through the whole day AF. Had a great dinner with my wife AF. My brother invited me to go out with him for the evening, and my wife encouraged me to. That tipped my decision and I took a NAL.

This is my recent observation. I am able in a situation like this to wait a long time until I start to drink with TSM. I considered whether or not to take NAL after dinner or try for an AF day. It was never a decision before TSM, it was a compulsion to drink, 100%. I promised myself 200 mornings that I would be AF after a bad drinking day, pre TSM, but by noon I was done with that thought, and I was back at the bottle at my usual time.

I had 3 or 4 pints of light beer while out with my brother. I was in control. When I was back home (my wife in bed and it was about midnight), I considered whether to stop and go to bed, but gave in and had 5 drinks or so after I came home in the late evening. I guess that is a day of about 9 units. This is where I need to make progress. Making the jump to assert myself and make the decision to stop after a few units and go to bed, instead of making the decision to stay up and drink a lot more, chasing the old high.

Tonight is Thursday, the last night of week 21. I am about 6 units into my Vodka. My wife is out and I am probably on my way to about 10 and then bed.

I find myself sort of not wanting to drink, but yet longing for the old "High" that I can't find anymore on NAL. It is an odd paradox. I don't want to drink, but I do. I take my NAL, drink a little at the beach, and don't get the old rush, so I drink a lot more.

My wife is pleased with my progress recently as I am also. I am feeling guilty now increasingly, as I feel like I have enough control that I could choose to stop or not start, but I choose to take the NAL and chase the old high. I am chalking this up to having to extinguish triggers. I have a day left here at the beach, then a big drive on Saturday. I am trying my best to document this journey. It is quite an experience.

I must add that I went out to buy dinner, "take out" for the family and I bought some chicken wings for my wife. I went to an establishment and ordered them, and the waitress asked me if I wanted a beer while I waited. I hadn't taken my Nal, and I declined. This is a moment that drove me to try TSM. I knew that I could take my NAL after dinner and drink later that night. When I was in AA and trying to abstain, this would have triggered a complete relapse. Or I would have had to vow never to walk into a place like that again, which I didn't want to have to live my life away from forever.

Also, as I am staying with my wonderful parents on this vacation, I think they can see that things have changed. One night, I definitely had too much and I felt like crap the next morning. I have done my P90x workout every day though, which makes me feel good. The drinking has kept me from losing weight, but I am getting stronger.

Back to my mom. One afternoon after a bad, high units night, she said to me, "how is your program going?". I said good. She said, "Did you have too much last night?". I immediately said, "Yes". She smiled and said, "well get back to it today". I think they feel a lot better about my situation and my sister in law who is also down here, told my wife that she seems so much happier, and that she hadn't noticed my drinking.

I feel like when I get back to my work routine, I am going to be a lot more on my way to fewer units and final extinction. We shall see.

All the best to everyone.

Sounds like great progress JDog! I can only imagine how tough vacations are (have not had one since trying to moderate my drinking and doing TSM at the beginning of the year). I agree that being back to work and regular life will probably make it easier to cut down and regain control for good.

It's working, dog. Just keep the golden rule and over time you will get there. One thing I noticed after awhile: I could still drink an occasional six pack (actually the most I have had on rare occasion is 5 beers), but the compulsion to drink the next day or the next was not there. I think you are correct about extinguishing behavior. The slower the desire fades the less you will miss the opiate rush. After all, its not really the buzz that is addicting, its the opiate rush. What an amazing slight-of-hand. Nal on!!

Thanks JDog - sound like great progress I'm having that paradox too atm, it feels as if my "lizard brain" [url](http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-addmonst.html[/url]) is desperately demanding the "high", therefore I have to drink more. Hopefully the extinction that Eskapa and Sinclair talk about is this stubborn part of the brain getting the message.

JDog...It's working!!!! I totally relate to everything you say. Keep challenging yourself on getting control, I really think it helps with the process. Yes, your brain is chasing the buzz, not to worry, as long as you have taken Nal it eventually will give up.

Nal-on!
K

Wow, my last post was sure a ramble....thank you to all who replied with support. I truly have hope in my life again. My wife and I have bought a place on the beach here....I will be able to retire at around 55, and I finally have hope that I will have a long life to enjoy my life. Thanks to Dr. Sinclair, Dr. Eskapa, and this website.

Yesterday afternoon was very interesting and positive for me. In the US, you can buy beer and wine in any variety or grocery store, and hard liquor is sold in separate stores that are usually right next to the grocery stores. (In Canada where I live, all alcohol is sold in Gov't owned stores, with no beer or liquor sales in grocery or variety stores.) Also, liquor is about half price down here compared to where I live.

I promised to take my children out to a video arcade. I have always been a good dad. However, in my big drinking days, I would have insisted on an early afternoon trip, because I would have been aching to get my drink on by 3pm at the beach at the latest. Yesterday, I just let the kids decide. They decided they wanted to go after dinner around 8pm. That was no problem by me.

Then during the day, I had to go to the grocery store. Past vacations would have me pining by the beer section and I would always buy something, no matter what I had back at the place. As well, the liquor store would get a purchase from me as well, as I could stock up to make sure I had a large quantity in reserve. With my wife not there, no one would know how much I was drinking. I would smuggle my purchase up to the room and hide it like a good, dedicated alcoholic.

Well, I comfortably spent the day on the beach and had dinner AF, with no distress or worry at all. When at the grocery store, the beer area offered me no appeal at all. That is truly evidence of brain rewiring for me. Actually, the thought of drinking beer made me feel slightly ill at that time. Then I walked by a litre bottle of spring water and it looked so good, I bought it. Then in another cooler I saw some raspberry carbonated no calorie, no Alcohol, vitamin drink and it looked so good, I bought that too. The water was great and I only had half of the raspberry thing, and gave the rest to my wife. I told my wife the whole story and she is pleased, but I think only my alcoholic friends can truly understand how much of a difference that is in my brain chemistry and thinking.

The bad news is that after getting home stone cold sober with the kids at 10pm or so, I got into the vodka and probably mixed about 10 units. My wife sat with me on the couch which was wonderful, even though I was drinking, and that says something. I felt bad this morning...I don't get hangovers anymore unless I mix beer, wine and other stuff, but I didn't sleep well or feel well.

One more day at the beach and then a 12 hour drive heading back to Canada on Monday. All the best to my TSM friends,and thanks. I have no doubt this is working.

Almost perfect Jdog! The lack of craving alcohol is indeed something to celebrate, ''....let's crack the Vodka!'' I may be incorrect here, but your response sounded more like habit than craving. Visitors to your thread, who have no experience with TSM, would say you are simply practicing a self-deception, any one who drinks 10 units and thinks he's making progress is crazy! However, we TSMer know so much better than that, Nal on dog! Almost there. I celebrate your current success!

Extinction of craving comes first, then the extinction of habit follows in due course.

Yep, that sounds like a little bit of habit there....you are doing so well otherwise! I know what you mean about the mere SIGHT of alcohol sometimes seeming really unappealing now...there are nights where I abstractly want to drink, but all alcohol just looks/smells/feels poisonous. I feel like that's us finally seeing alcohol how it really is, rather than cloaked in glamour....
EL