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 Post subject: Camelias Progress
PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 3:49 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2009 11:12 am
Posts: 25
Hi all
Sorry for being a bit erratic. I just thought it would be a good time to pop in. I am on week 13 now. My path has been a little different to N101CS to whom I am grateful for the summary in another section. I have been a problem drinker for about 15yrs - strong psychological dependence. I have always worked in and around neuroscience and 6-7 yrs ago I could not see why naltrexone would not work. I tried at that time to find out about it and to find some ongoing clinical trials in UK (IOP to start off with). I also consulted a fairly clued up alcohol psychiatrist who told me that results were disappointing - and recommended 'talking therapy'. I then tried topamax 2 years ago and once above 100mg was zombified (although it did have an affect). I could not hack the cognitive and nausea effects of TPX so discontinued it. The alcohol problem continued and eventually - I revisited My Way Out and came accross the new Sinclair Method threads. The penny really dropped when I listened to Dr Sinclair himself - Im sure the link is on here somewhere - and he explained the CRUCIAL message of drinking while on Naltrexone. Of course the UK Psychiatrist was not going to tell me that and I had not thought of looking up the original work at the time. This recording is unbelieveably powerful. If you have not yet heard it - find it and listen to it carefully. I listened to it at least twice to get the full value from it.

So, how have I progressed? No side affects from naltrexone at all. My drinking escalated to a bottle and a half of wine/six days per week (from about 45 units to close to 70 units per week - worst ever) for two reasons for the first 10 weeks - 1) I gave myself permission to drink and 2) I was finally finishing up a thesis after 10 very painful years (its now 'done' at last). Unfortunately with the increased drinking I put up extra weight - which was a bummer for my business trip to a beautiful European city last week - walking round it nearly killed me! However, suddenly, in the middle of this trip, the naltrexone effect seemed to kick in subtly. Firstly the craving following a few drinks dropped - I could stop after a few drinks at dinner and not drink ALL the wine in the minibar. Then, 2 nights running I almost could not finish wine with dinner and NO wine from minibar. And then, on way home was not thinking about wine on way to airport, had one glass of wine at airport, had no wine on plane and none when I got home EVEN though there was plenty there to have. I think week 13 is the beginning for me. I expect things to rollercoaster from here - up and down, but I can honestly say there is a real change now. My thinking/compulsions/cravings have altered dramatically. I am looking forward to 'real' things rather than drinking.

I must add that last night (one night after my return) I had a 'ritual binge', by that I mean a 'habitual' binge. I really need to start thinking consciously about whether Im drinking out of habit OR because Im really 'driven' to do so. Tonight Im AF without too much bother.

Im no longer hoping for a 'miracle', rather, im putting my faith in the science and -one day at a time - patiently drinking with Nal and holding onto my nerve, I believe the craving and compulsion will slowly, slowly diminish.

I hope this encourages everybody.

Keep on going on

Camelia


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 Post subject: Re: Camelias Progress
PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 6:15 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 08, 2009 8:09 am
Posts: 437
Camila you are an excellent journalist and I want to commend you on your post. I am only on week two of this journey but feel quite lost. My drinking has not changed nor has my feelings they are the same. People here say that they feel a change in their condition or the feelings they have. I do not. I feel I am a binge drinker and boy can I pour the vodka or wine the urgency and the high are the same or better. Nothing has changed and I am hoping that I am not that 20 or so percent that does not make it through. It seems like everyone but me has hope. I do not want to give up but here I sit more than a bit disgusted with myself and
hoping for a miracle. Thanks for listening. A cry in the dark. M

_________________
Pre Sinclair 60-100 units
Month 1 Av. 62 units
Month 2 Av. 68 Units
Month 3 Av. 58 Units
Month 4 Av 47.5 Units
Month 5 Av 48.5 Units
Month 6 Av. 30.7
Month 7 Av. 32.2
Month 8 Av. 39.7
Wk34 50Units
Wk 35 40U 1AF
Wk 36 4U 6AF


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 Post subject: Re: Camelias Progress
PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 6:32 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2009 12:07 pm
Posts: 386
Location: Michigan
LaBear,

PLEASE don't assume the worst when you've really just started. I've come to realize that everyone has a different experience on this journey, and there is no "right" pattern. Just follow the rule by taking the Nal an hour before you drink - EVERY time! Just keep going, and don't expect to see results within any particular period of time. It will only make you crazy. If you see a hint of progress at times, it will make you happy, but there will be other times when it seems you're going backwards - DON'T let it get you down! Look how Camelia said it took 13 weeks for her to see a real change, even though some others seemed to notice something much earlier. There's just no point in comparing yourself too much to others. There will be ups and downs, and nobody REALLY knows how long it will take YOU or ME. Just don't give up - this can work for you!


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 Post subject: Re: Camelias Progress
PostPosted: Tue Apr 28, 2009 6:34 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 4:58 pm
Posts: 557
Location: European Country
I really love to read everyone's posts. I relate to what each person is saying and I am amazed at the clarity of connection.
I think, as the days go by, (and I hope,) we are getting help VIA this drug. I am happy to reiterate my progress. I still am drinking, but it somehow does not seem to have the complete control over me as it has in the past.
I do not know what to contribute this to. We have very good support here on the site, we take the meds, we have INTENTIONS, we do not want to repeat past performances, we want our "wits" about us.

In the past month and 1/2 although my intake is not as low as I would like, it appears to me I HAVE A BETTER CONTROL and to me that is a success.

Camelia Let's hope that you have small successes that in time unfold to be a butterfly for you.
Poetic, but truthful,

ART

_________________
Previous units :
100 -140- for years trying to limit

TSM since Feb 09
60-70 Units
AF Oct 22, 23, 24, 25, 26
week 33- 5 units!
week 34 -20 units
Nov 2 AF
week 44 (?) 60-70
One year later Not Cured. But able to limit my units somewhat better.


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 Post subject: Re: Camelias Progress
PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 10:06 am 
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Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2009 4:27 pm
Posts: 729
Location: New York State
Camelia, you should know that nearly every person on the MB here has expressed the same fear that you did. Two weeks? HA! (As WTE would say :) ) You've hardly started. Don't even THINK about trying to judge if it's working or not until you hit the fourth month. Period. If you have some good results in the meantime, that's a bonus. If you don't - well, you're still participating in the process. And it WILL work.

BTW, The Sinclair Method is successful 100% of the time in animal studies. Of the 20% of people who weren't successful, at least 10% discontinued their use of naltrexone. Who knows how many of the remaining 10% were really compliant? You can't trust alkies to always tell the truth, after all! Taking this into consideration, TSM is probably successful for more than 90% of drinkers who ALWAYS take naltrexone one hour prior to drinking.

Like I told another newbie who had your concerns: if someone asked me to bet a hundred bucks, 2 to 1, on your success, assuming you ALWAYS take your naltrexone an hour before drinking, I'd do it in a heartbeat!


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 Post subject: Re: Camelias Progress
PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:01 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 11:00 am
Posts: 579
Location: England, UK
LaBear wrote:
It seems like everyone but me has hope.


LaBear,

You and I have posted before on several other threads and it is clear that we share a common problem - anxiety. One aspect of anxiety is that it can make a person always fear the worst possible outcome. Perhaps that's what is dragging you down at the moment. Try not to let it get the better of you! Strive to maintain a positive outlook at all times.

V.

_________________
Weekly Consumption
Wk01-10: 86, 98, 103, 104, 97, 92, 102, 103, 102, 107
Wk11-20: 100, 99, 100, 105, 108, 108, 89, 95, 105, 97
Wk21-30: 97, N/R, N/R, 97, 105, N/R, N/R, 107, 97, 98
Wk31-40: 93, 88, 87, 87, 91, 92, 94, N/R
UK units
N/R = Not Recorded


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 Post subject: Re: Camelias Progress
PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 1:32 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2009 11:12 am
Posts: 25
Hi all

Let me make myself clear.... instead of expecting a miracle I am now in a MUCH happier place! I really believe in this process as a natural versus a supernatural process. That is what I aimed to show in my post! I am one of those who saw NO change whatsoever for 12 weeks and then on week 13 the changes have begun. That was not a negative message on my part - rather a positive one. I am sure that this will work regardless of what I feel. I believe in the science. I knew full well that any early changes would be 'placebo' so did not even look for them. I wanted to encourage others to 'keep on going on' through this apparent lack of change. I agree completely that it takes 3-4 months at least and it is entirely possible that individuals may experience absolutely no change at all until the latter stages -so - BE ENCOURAGED one and all - that is my major message!

I did in fact notice some changes in the form of the rapid removal of guilt regarding my condition. The Sinclair recording was so astute. It made it so clear that this is not a moral issue - his rats had no moral dilemmas over alcohol and therefore beating themselves up in AA meetings would have done nothing at all to reduce their drinking. I struggled for so long with this issue in AA meetings. You cannot defeat something by acknowledging you are worthless!
Thank you all for your support and interest. It is an exciting journey and I would burst if I could not share it with you. Only today a very close friend who is tipping over into the danger zone with alcohol talked to me about our conversation of 2 nights ago - when I knew she was tiddly. She knows I have been worried for a long time and now she is beginning to worry for herself. I cannot yet disclose to her what I am doing - but if this is a success it will help her and many of my friends and family.

Keep on going on. Even when it looks like nothing is happening - it is!

Camelia


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 Post subject: Re: Camelias Progress
PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 1:42 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2009 11:12 am
Posts: 25
LaBear

especially for you..... really.... keep on going on. Its going to take time. Let it take whatever time it requires. Everytime a negative thought around the issue comes into your head combat it with a positive one. This takes practice. I'm with you and the other anxiety junkies on here - oh how I wish I'd learned how to meditate and live in the moment years ago!

Keep close and keep posting

Camelia


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 Post subject: Re: Camelias Progress
PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 2:35 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 08, 2009 8:09 am
Posts: 437
"ESPECIALLY FOR ME!!!!!!! " I don't think I have ever heard that before. Camelia, thank you so much for that kind of post. You made me feel special in spite of myself. I am not usually at a loss for words but here I seem to be. I could never imagine feeling so close to people I have never met. Virgil, you too know where I am coming from and I so appreciate your support. It is hard for me to distinguish weather my feelings are anxiety based or not. Thank you again.

_________________
Pre Sinclair 60-100 units
Month 1 Av. 62 units
Month 2 Av. 68 Units
Month 3 Av. 58 Units
Month 4 Av 47.5 Units
Month 5 Av 48.5 Units
Month 6 Av. 30.7
Month 7 Av. 32.2
Month 8 Av. 39.7
Wk34 50Units
Wk 35 40U 1AF
Wk 36 4U 6AF


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 Post subject: Re: Camelias Progress
PostPosted: Wed Apr 29, 2009 6:27 pm 
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Joined: Mon Feb 09, 2009 2:10 pm
Posts: 316
Location: Chicago, IL
I loved this thread - thank you Camelia! (And..I don't think anyone misunderstood your post, just mixed up your name with LaBears).

LaBear, you are not alone - hope is something we keep alive for each other, really, it's not the natural state for this method. Take a deep breath and wait it out with us. It's a long haul and Camelia's post is at the 13 week mark - so important for us to see her breakthrough at that point. Many, many people on the forum here have kept at the same pre-sinclair levels for weeks and weeks but they report reductions in cravings and other signs along the way. You will get there - post often, every day if you need to...I have been posting like crazy lately just to mark the time. It's so hard to wait but we are seeing more and more people make progress at the 3 to 4 month mark, so I really think this will work for me and for you.

Keep the thoughts positive and cheer yourself on - you will get there!


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