dragonfly, 3 days AF is great! Keep up with the positive attitude!

WHOOOHOOO! 3 AF days is awesome!!! that's great that you are getting some additional support from the hubby trying to cut back. AND the bonus of the weight loss! lots of positive reinforcement -YAY!

--pepper

Well, I'm not quite sure what happend but I fell off the "Nal wagon" a few times these past two weeks. Meaning I drank without Nal a few times. sigh. I know, whip me with a wet noodle. After the first time, I'm quite sure it made it easier to happen again. It wasn't every day but it did happen a few times and I think it made the endorphin highway get busier. So, that coupled with a long holiday weekend, I had some big numbers these past two weeks. Aargh! F-ing roller coaster!
My husband got angry and frustrated with the whole process which further took some wind out of the sails for myself as well. He, on the other hand, has been doing quite well with controlling his drinking. It makes a huge difference that he's been coaching base ball every day after work so he isn't drawn into his usual "witching period". I'm pretty perplexed as to why his motivation isn't helping mine at this point. It will be interesting to see how he does once base ball is over. Anyways, I'm still going to stick with TSM because I do feel that it could work. I really can feel the change for the worse after drinking without it a few times. And it sucks.
This week has been going fairly well but, huge trigger coming up next week when both kids go to stay with their grandparents for the entire week. Although yes the kids are a source of stress, they also are what keep me pretty regulated. I am a bit worried that it will become a week of free for all drinking. I'm starting to mentally gear up and prepare for the week in order to avoid that. Any suggestions?

-dragonfly

Ah yes the roller coaster. Right there with you dragonfly- the only positive of drinking without nal is that it quickly shows you the (not pretty) alternative. As for your big week ahead...why don't you try and plan some pampering and fun activities that you don't usually get to do with the kids around? It's ok if some of them involve drinking, but it would probably help to have other activities lined up. Or projects (I find painting therapeutic, for one!)
Good luck,
EL

Hi dragonfly

How old are your kids? Mine are 12 & 9, two boys. Maybe book yourself in for a day spa if you can and plan a day's hike with hubby? It depends what your interests are, but some pampering and maybe some time with girlfriends will take your mind off drinking. Also as much as we love our kids, some time without them is a treat, so try to enjoy it. It's a good thing that hubby is trying to cut down on drinking at the same time - you might both have some ideas for alternative activities. And why not have a couple of nights drinking together and never mind the consequences?!! You won't have to worry about the squeaky bed (if yours is like ours)!

Have fun
Sticky

It's been quite a while since my last post. To be honest, things could be going better. The week without the kids wasn't too over the top and I pretty much maintained the same. Then I had a problem getting my prescription of Nal filled and last week I went the entire week without it. I was doing fairly well until the weekend. Then all hell broke loose. I don't know what happend but I drank way too much and acted like a fool. I feel awful today, not just sick but actually toxic. Ugh. So back to square one pretty much since I went an entire week repaving some pleasure pathways in my brain. At least I have a renewed vigor to get this under control. I'm just so tired of it! I don't even want to think about drinking right now.

Sorry to hear about the recent situation dragonfly, but I sincerely DON'T think you're back to square one just because you were off nal for a while. I think once you start up again you will be back where you left off, not at the beginning again. A lot of it is brain chemistry but some of it is also behaviour, and you can exercise some control over that. Maybe in the future don't drink without nal, no matter what?
HAng in there, it'll get better.

Hi dragonfly

I agree with EL that you won't be back to square one. You had a good response to nal to begin with. TSM is a roller coaster for most of us, even if we do always take nal. Sometimes I have started drinking without waiting an hour - no patience!

I hope you are feeling better and more positive. The drinking/depression cycle is a bummer!

Cheers
Sticky

Thanks for the encouragement and support EL and Sticky! Yes, the drinking/depression cycle flat out sucks. In fact, that's what fueled this past weekend. I felt anxious and depressed so I drank which makes me feel better- at first. Then more depressed so I drank more and on and on..... Add that I didn't eat as much as I shoul've and results were painful.

I haven't had anything to drink or the Nal for the past two days. My body felt so abused after the weekend that I haven't even wanted to. It actually scared me how bad I felt when it was all said and done. (But got up and went to work like a trooper! A very battered trooper).

So, I haven't had a bad craving yet. I just have to think of how I felt Monday morning and I cringe. My plan is that if I get a strong urge that I just can't shake I will take my Nal (which I carry with me now just to be sure). If anything, this past weekend has made me even more cautious of alcohol and I look forward to the day that I'm looking back on this part of my life in the rear view mirror.

Hi DragonFly - how was Monday today?

Never a good one after a heavy weekend... we've all been there.

The danger point is that by Wednesday / Thursday you'll be feeling much better and ready for the weekend.

Looking back at the amazing progress you've made it's a tiny blip.

Think how good you'll feel in 3 months.

Take care,

Andy.