My husband has been a drinker since I have known him but in the past several years it has gotten progressively worse. Last year when beer was not doing it he started drinking vodka and was drinking up to fifth of vodka in an evening. He started to blackout and become violent. Fats forward to today...he wants to quit and is taking NAL but still drinks the same as he did before. I read the bookd but he did not. I don't know if he should stop the vodka or what..he is excited about the medication but is also excited that he gets to keep drinking. He won't journal the craving or amount he drinks so I cannot tell if there has been any decrease. I get this sinking feeling that he has no intention of even trying to cut back and is expecting to wake up one day and not want to drink.

I know that it has only been a week but have read about people having almost instant changes in their desire and amount and he has not so I am getting a little discouraged so I guess that I came here for some support and maybe direction. He doesn't even want to talk about it, he doesn't want it to dominate the conversation in our lives. It is easy for him to say...he gets to drink and I am still living with a drunk....I am so sick of this but want to keep my family together if I can.

Lynn

There are all sorts of changes that occur when you drink on naltrexone that are subjective: if you aren't taking the drug, you will not be able to monitor many of the TSM benefits. Make sure he takes the pill one hour before he drinks, every time he drinks. If you follow this rule there is a very good chance that at some point he will simply lose interest in drinking. But it takes a lot of time: think six to twelve months based upon his heavy consumption. There's only one rule to TSM: take the pill an hour before drinking. The other stuff, like consumption and craving monitoring is helpful to the process in that it measures improvement, but it's NOT a necessary ingredient to success with the method.

Good luck! The chances are great that this will help your husband tremendously.

babe, make SURE he WAITS an HOUR before drinking....EVERY TIME he starts drinking. he may be lying to you..ya know? drinking durnig during the day away from you lalalalaala.....just beg him, say babe hey please, "you love me, i love you, do just tiny one thing for me ( and enforce it in whatever way works for your relationshionship) "JUST TAKE THIS PILL ONE HOUR BEFORE YOU WANNA DRINK< WAIT< N THEN DRINK AWAY:) Babe, It will work!

YOU CAN BE AT CAUSE WITH THIS TREATMENT... and that is why it is soooooo AWESOME!

He does take this pill everytime before he drinks...1 hour before. Tonight we were at a family function and I was watching him. He went over to his car and got his pill and then drank water and tea until an hour had passed. Then he head a beer. Then after that he had a water. I forbid him to even think about vodka because once he starts drinking that he is an "idiot" and I did not want his family seeing that side of him.

I guess I just get mad becasue this looks like it will really work. I went with him to see is Doctor to get the Naltrexone becasue I am a nurse and I went in the office to get this prescrition which was not east but I was not leaving without it....the Doctor says it won't work and I said what harm would it do to try? Basically any argument he had I had one for trying NAL and we have a 3 month script...hopefully we can keep getting it. Anyway...he is excited about this method but as usual Ihave to do all the research and reading (he will not) and ask about his drinking...he won't keep a journal so I feel like he is still doing this his way or on his terms.....but I have no dounbt that he is taking the pill at least an hour before...that at least he can do.

I was just nervous becasue he is not having the reduction in cravings that I have read about and so I am just afraid that he might be in the 20%. I guess since he has drank for so long and it did elevate to such a drastic amount that he will take longer.

Thanks for the support....I needed to hear it

The intensity of addiction makes everyone impatient for TSM to work. I am 100% sure it will work for everyone who tries it, I am only about 20% wrong in my predictions. As Nick said above, the only rule for TSM is to take Nal one hour before drinking. (However, if one forgets, take it right away). This board is full of amazing success stories (I was first inspired by Firebird and BOB3d, read their threads). Your husband will continue to drink and if he drinks mostly vodka, that will most likely be the first taste/feel that will be extinguished. If the method worked overnight there would be no room for one to fall out of love with alcohol. Give it time and in the meantime encourage him to keep himself safe (make contingency plans, no driving, for example). When he has his first signs of success, he must remember that TSM is a roller coaster ride for most before control is firmly reached. I wish you both Good Luck. Nal on!

Hi Lynn,

I really feel for you and think you are an amazingly strong person. You are his guardian angel; taking care of him; loving him no matter what. As a Nurse you have the perfect caring disposition. The problem is, he might not see it this way.

I put my wife through hell with my binge drinking and it changed her behaviour. She'd try to take drinks away from me when I had too much; when away with work I had to check in via text every hour. I saw my wife’s caring behaviour as being controlling and I rebelled, drinking more tequila or lying to her about how much I was actually drinking. At a marriage counselling session, I was told; “Your wife's controlling behaviour will stop when you can control your drinking.”

I've thought long and hard about how I can respond to your post. I can see how difficult it is trying to change your husband. But that might be the problem. He must want to change himself.

Drinking Vodka is a terrible idea and it will really cause problems. But the problem is that ‘banning’ your husband from drinking Vodka might backfire. The alcoholic part of his brain may rebel and he might drink more – or start hiding his drinking from you.

If he’s taking the Naltrexone then brilliant. I’d suggest the best way to measure success is through his actions.

Is he leaving drinks unfinished?
Does he still have blackouts where he admits to not remembering anything?
Is he still doing foolish / embarrassing things?

My feeling is that he will start leaving drinks, he will no longer blackout and slowly over the next 3 - 6 months you will get the husband that you want and deserve. Naltrexone will have an effect on him at a subconscious level – so watch out for these changes and post back with your success stories!

I wish you all the best - stay strong,

Andy.

OH MY GOSH! Last night my husbadn had 2 beers before we went out to dinner. We had a lovely dinner with our daughters (ages 12 and 14) and the 14 year old and her father talked and laughed....this in iteself is a miracle because she swears that she hates him becasue of his alcoholic behaviors (they were really bad...like getting drunk at her birthday party and I had to take all the girls home early)

Anyway...we came home and he had 6 more beers and a vodka "steeping"...well he did not want the vodka....he told me that he just didn't want it and he put it in the freezer to keep. It is still there at 2:15pm and I am amazed. I know that this is the honey moon phase but what a change...8 beers in a day is unheard of for him...he can finsih off a case and a fifth of vodka easily in a days time! So I am going to enjoy this while it last and I told him that this probably won't last but that it is a good sign. He is very hopeful for the first time in years and so am I.

Lynn

Lynn, that is great. Enjoy the honeymoon. You sound like you are prepared for a spike in drinking if it happens. This process does take time but it does work. If I had found out about TSM earlier it might have saved my marriage. This could end up being a rebirth for you and your husband and he may come to realize how his drinking has put distance between him and your daughters. I wish you the best.

Well I am ready to ship him off to whomever wants him....He is still drinking vodka but at a very slow pace for him. His 700 ml bottle has been in the freezer since Sunday and there is still some left. He is drinking his beers though and tonight he was an asshole. He asked me "waht did I do today?" and I thought he was asking because he was sore (his legs were hurting the other day from alot of yard work) so I said "you came home from work, went to the garage to watch the game and then came in for bed" I didn't even mention his drinking. And then he says "Oh that's it...I see" in his "buzzed" slurred antagonistic way and I simply told him not to go there because I wasn't fighting with him tonight. WTF? This is his old nasty self and I HATE that side of him. Things were good and now he is an ass...AGAIN

I guess it is all part of the process but good gosh....I am doing all the housework and taking care of the kids and letting him do what ever he wants and he still comes in to try to fight with me? I already feel like a single parent and am all alone in this marriage. He gets to drown himself with booze when he is stressed...I just get to stay stressed and then deal with a drunk. This better work or else I swear to God he can go.

Just needed to vent
Lynn