Hi Curious One

It's good to have a few fellow AAers/abstainers on this board. (You & Mario.) Only you did much better than me - in my 18 years in & out of AA my longest periods of sobriety were one of 2 years, one of 10 months and several of 6 months.

Given that it's not recommended for people who have been sober for a few years to take up TSM, what motivated you??

You are off to a great start. I'm sorry to hear that nal costs a bit in the UK , but it's probably very little compared to what you spent on alcohol in the past? I'm in the Commonwealth too (NZ) and miraculously it's free here, but hardly anyone is using it in the way we do with TSM. I pretended that I wanted nal for the anti craving effects. I found out several years ago, by trying it myself, that it is near useless where that is concerned. My GP is now quite supportive, but I will need to go to a Community Alcohol & Drug service to renew my script when my next few months run out. I hope that will not be an issue.

All the best
Sticky

Hi Electra and Sticky

Hi Sticky, I am not a believer/follower of AA. I suspect my "one day at a time" comment lead you to think that I am. I read AA's literature many years ago and felt it was not for me. If I say any more about AA it will turn into a rant, so I'd better leave it at that I quit using Campral and by reading about alcoholism and addiction in general, from the internet and books.

I'm not feeling too chipper today, mostly tired and cranky from poor sleep- a possible side effect of Nal, but slightly hungover too. I had about 3 units of red wine last night and then I had enough. This feeling of having enough truly is a wondrous thing!! I finding myself savouring that moment, I don't think I can ever remember having that feeling where alcohol is concerned.

However, I still have the urge to control my drinking when I start, I force myself to slow down, I do feel the urge to drink fast in the beginning and this is something I want to explore. I also wait closer to 2 hours before drinking after taking Nal, I wonder if I drink on the dot of an hour would I feel different?. I wish Nal was shorter lasting, I dislike the thought of having it in my system for 24 hours, which tempts me to take 25mg to see what would happen..... we'll see.

Curi

So far so good. That's good!
After I declared myself "cured", I experimented with the dose. I dropped to 25mg and have continued to have great success with TSM. Nal has a 4hr half-life, at least theoretically, you should be covered for 4-6 hrs after taking Nal. Depending on you drinking style you might adjust accordingly. However, the niggling feeling that you are not quite doing the prescribed method would play on your fears as you are just starting. Therefore, it is wiser to wait until you have had obvious success and you experience that uncanny confidence before you consider cutting the dose. When you have your success, you will be both Nal and Alc free on most days anyhow. Good luck.

I just wanted to record this: I have been wanting to drink this evening, all day. I kept telling myself no because I'll have a drinking lunch and dinner tomorrow. As the evening has gone by, the desire for red wine has gotten stronger, I've eaten something which has helped the craving but despite my not wanting to drink tonight, I've taking a Nal and am waiting for the hour to be up, impatiently.

This is the first time this has happened to me so I'm both curious and worried about it. The other few times I drank was because they were drinking occasions rather than me wanting to drink. We'll see how it goes...

Thanks, Digetic, you are right, I should follow TSM properly for the moment. I think there is some controversy or debate about the length of time Nal is in our systems, I know Wiki says the half life is about 4 hours but my doctor told me that if I had to go to hospital I'd have to stop NAl at least 48 hours before hand otherwise opoid pain killers wouldn't be as effective... ???? I duno.

It's the damnedest bloody thing!! After about 3 to 4 dl of wine I had enough, I can't get over this "enough" business. I put the glass in the dish washer and pumped the rest of the wine and put it in the fridge. Then I thought; no, I want to want more wine, so I poured another glass... took one sip... and poured it down the drain... amazing!! I feel just a bit tipsy but very much in control. Tomorrow I'll probably feel seedy all day and that is what annoys me about drinking: the waisted next day! I suffer from bad hangovers, always have, actually, had it not been for the awful hangovers, there's a chance that I might never have given up drinking.

Tonight I had very little sensation from NAl, I have experienced pressure in my ears the other times and a slightly spaced out feeling, these were considerably diminished tonight as well.

Another positive experience with Naltrexone.

Tonight I didn't reach Enough, I could have gone on, but those with me didn't want to, so I followed suit, reluctantly, but fairly easily nonetheless. I wanted to go an extra glass of wine and even an Amaretto, and who knows, maybe even a cigarette, but I didn't.

Perhaps the fact that I started drinking when I was hungry, is note worthy, and I ate very little at dinner, I was more interested in the wine During early sobriety, I remember how important not getting hungry and/or thirsty, was. I think this is still true today, even with Nal, I drink less on a full(ish) tummy.

I felt a bit seedy today after 4 units last night. Tonight I had about double that so I'm in trouble tomorrow! and tomorrow is a busy day... oh well, this too is part of the negative reinforcement.

Curious, it's good that you're getting that feeling of "enough" even if it doesn't happen all the time...I think it will only get easier as times goes on. And yes, sometimes a hint of effort is good too (like you said, it was easy enough to follow suit with others even though you wanted to keep drinking.
Good luck!EL

Hi Curious One

Sorry I thought you were an AA member. I just assumed someone with 3 years' sobriety had to have some support, but I do know of others who have stayed sober without it. I myself didn't go to meetings for about 5 years, apart from just before Christmas(!) and stayed sober for periods of 6 months with 1 night relapses, pretty much the same as what I did in AA. I used to resent going to AA until I decided perhaps I would stay sober for longer periods if I befriended some women who had long term sobriety. It helped for a while, but then I felt like more of a failure whenever I relapsed b/c I was comparing myself with the 5% minority who stay sober for any length of time in AA and always falling short.

As regards the half life, etc. of nal in the system, I must admit I stressed a wee bit over the fact that I had been taking nal and was having major surgery recently in Thailand (face lift.) I followed the rules of not drinking anything for at least 24 hours before the operation, but I did drink within 48 hours of the operation (on the plane) with no ill effects.

Glad to hear you have had the "enough" feeling, but that may not last and may take months to return. (Speaking from experience.) Hang on in there and read the posts of others for support.

All the best
Sticky

Thank you for the support Electra and Sticky.

Sticky, I think of the many things I don't like about AA, the thing I disliked the most is this notion that alcoholics are different to "regular" people, that we're a group apart, and that all alcoholics have the same personality traits, I've often heard AAers say things like "we're all the same" "typical alcoholic behaviour" etc... We, on this board, have one thing in common: we are addicted to alcohol and our behaviour towards alcohol is similar because of that addiction, but that's where the similarities end, I believe.

Oddly enough, I didn't have a hangover today, I did have about 4 units of white wine this evening though, because I felt I deserved it after a hard day and just because I could roll: . I think the honeymoon is over.

Curi

Hi Curi

That feeling of 'detachment' from the buzz is interesting and kind of bizarre isn't it... I imagine it is similar to what most moderate, controlled drinkers feel all the time, whereby they experience pleasant sensations from the alcohol but are able to remain sufficiently self-aware and removed from them to make sensible decisions about their drinking and behaviour. I agree though that this doesn't make "alcoholics" different to "regular" people in the way AA teaches. One group of fundamentalist Big Bookers I encountered used to consistently refer to everyone outside AA as "normies" aka normal people... it used to drive me nuts!!

Anyway I digress. Keep posting your progress, I'm very interested and hopeful for you as I hope to start TSM again after 3 months sober (very different to 3 years! but still...) I wonder if TSM is somehow more effective after a long break from drinking such as you have had, due to the brain sort of having less of an addiction to extinguish?? No scientific basis whatsoever for that speculation but I would be interested to see what the book says.

Good luck