Good for you for noticing the subtle differences. For a while that's all you get on TSM. But it sounds like it's working for you.

I haven't posted in a few weeks and I haven't been tracking my numbers, but they are high. I haven't felt any improvement over the past several weeks, but in reviewing my earlier posts I am stll in a much better place emotionally.
I am going to start tracking my units again and work hard to have several AF days each week. I love how I feel the day following an AF day and want to reinforce that feeling.
I am faithfully taking my Nal prior to drinking but I don't have much to report in the way of progress. I felt that it was important that I write this down so when I review my journey there won't be missing weeks with no information, regardless of how I am doing.

Bluehen, when you're doing great post. When you're not doing great post. 15 weeks in is still early so don't give up just yet. Glad you are back on the board. Only time will tell if this is working for you.

I stopped posting briefly on my journey because I wasn't improving but I came out on top.

Hang in there and keep posting. You won't regret it.

My best,

Nick

Hi Bluehen

Do stick with it and keep posting. I so relate when you say how good you feel after an AF day.
Slow but steady wins the race - I think WarrenJames reminded me of that.

Cheers
Sticky

Hi BlueHen - I relate. I haven't been posting much lately either. After being on TSM for several weeks the process gets somewhat uneventful. I'm with Sticky though....keep posting. We all knows it helps to track your units and post here. Besides, we'd miss you.

Hi Bluehen,
I just read through your thread, and it really resonates with me. One of the big difference I experienced with nal was also the lack of paranoia. Before nal, whenever I was hungover I was a total mess, afraid of everything I might have done the night before and just generally imbued with a sense of dread. One of the best part of the nal-over (ha!) is the lack of paranoia. I wish you all the best.

Hi Bluehen, the despondence you are feeling at the moment is very common if not universal. It takes us a long time to drink ourselves to where we were preTSM so what are a few more months on Nal if thats what it takes? Your overall figures (even though you didn't track wks 17-19) are reduced compared to pre TSM and you have reported many of the small victories that TSM affords (ie increased control, increased clarity, better relationships, reduced cravings, increased time to first drink of day, being able to switch to a non alcoholic beveridge after a few wines, AF days, etc). These small victories are evidence that our relationship with alcohol is DEFINITELY changing. I do think though, that it is important for you to track your numbers. At least this way you are accountable to yourself for whatever amount (good or bad) you drink. Keep your chin up, persistance will trump despondence and you WILL get there. Warrenjames

Thank you everyone for your words of support, without them I know I would not still be on this journey. One thing I found encouraging was re doing my units in my signature[color=#FFBF00][/color] into 4 week averages- I could see a definate reduction over the weeks and the occasional AF day thrown in which is encouraging. The progress is slow but so many of you keep echoing the same refrain- you will get there but it takes time.
Week 20 ends with 47 units. Had a few light days and several heavy drinking days. One day with a hangover. It was a fairly uneventful week; hubby and I did have an arguement but ironically it started the one day I only had one drink after we argued to relax and fall asleep. But we hashed that out and the rest of the week was nice.
I have a big week ahead as I am taking off for my annual Goddess Getaway. This is a yearly gathering of a group of gals and traditionally I have spent every night getting drunk and everyday hungover. I really don't want to that this year. I want to enjoy and remember the fun times had with my friends and awake healthy and pain free to enjoy the day. Not just waiting until I can drink again to stop the hurt from the hangover. Most of my friends are light drinkers. I need to make a plan so I know exactly how I am going to approach this trip.

Bluehen, I agree that a plan is a good idea. That's one of the main tools I learned in harm reduction therapy: try and go into each drinking session with a fully visualized picture of how the whole evening is going to go, how much you are going to drink, when you are going to leave, etc etc. With nal on your side and a clear picture of how much you want to drink (and I suggest numbers, not vague things like"enough to have fun but not get hungover") you have two massive tools to success. It might take some effort, but I have faith in you!
EL