Hi JDog

You are doing so well! Buying the beer to get cash then not drinking it is awesome!
I was nervous about telling friends and family about TSM at first as I knew they'd be sceptical. After my antics last weekend they still will be, but then I forgot to take another nal when I should have.
I'ts good to hear your wife is happier. My hubby is nervous about me drinking too, but is pleased when I keep it to a minimum.

Cheers
Sticky

Hey JDog,

While the units may not reflect it, focus on the other hints that do. Being able to NOT drink with much less effort needed than pre-TSM. Buying beer and not drinking it, the wife's reactions, increased control, etc. As time goes on the rest (units) will fall into place!

8 units last night (Tues). 10 tonight. For the record..

You are still relatively early in the process. The units WILL come down. Your decreased interest in alcohol and ability to control yourself are proof positive it's working. You are on your way!

Hello TSM Friends,

I regret having been away from the board for the past few weeks. I will try to keep back on as a regular. I have been unbelievably busy at work, with the 4 kids, some house upgrades, etc. I wished to document my journey in as much detail as possible for myself and for others who may follow after me, but I have no choice but to try to get back on track.

Drinking update? Not really the best news. Drinking just about every day, and back on vodka. 6-8 units or so during most weekdays 8-12 on Fri and Saturdays and Sundays, with maybe 3-5 12-15 unit Friday and Saturdays. I estimate about 65 per week on average which I realize is way too much.

My wife has been great. I had a back to back 12-15 on a weekend a little while ago which upset her, and she was mad for a couple of days. It is not that I am behaving badly, because that magical pill is still keeping the Devil at bay, and if I drink to much, I generally just fall asleep. No dumb arguments, no stupid online gambling while drunk, no blackouts where I can't remember anything (although the couple big drinking nights that I had were a little foggy at the end).

Generally, I wish this would work quicker, but I am willing to keep the faith. I am a little ashamed to be back on the Vodka, but that is where i am at.

Some positives at this point: my wife is still very positive with me; my dad told me that there has only been 1 night in the past 2 months when he called and he thought I was in rough shape, "I was afraid to ever call you at night last year." I watched all the NBA and NHL playoff games with booze and remember all of them but the ending of 1 game. Last year, I couldn't make it to the end of a single game. I generally woke up at 4 AM and went online to see what happened.

Although, after 3 drinks or so, the old desire to keep drinking seems to kick in, I think that slowly I am craving it less. For example, at this moment, it is 7:22pm, my wife and kids are out. There is 3 open wine bottles in site that people have brought over to the house, 15 beers downstairs, and a 1/2 open bottle of vodka in the cupboard. I have not drank anything. I could never have had all of that lying around last year, because I would have drank as much as there was, until I puked and/or passed out.

I have also not missed any days of work over a hangover. Last year, I missed about 4-7 because I was in such bad shape that I could hardly function or I was certain that the booze would have been oozing out of my pores in public and I wanted to protect myself.

In Canada, after a miserable Winter, and cold, wet Spring, summer is trying to establish itself. For us, that means lots of barbecues, time in the backyard around my pool, and lots of work related socials. I work in education and it is the end of the school year. This has brought on a whole host of "triggers" that I am working my way through with NAL.

Yesterday, for example, was a work related end-of-the-year social. I took my Nal, had a couple of beers, 1/2 a glass of wine and a small liqueur. Stopped drinking after that, no problem. Had a couple big water drinks and went home. I did drink a few more at home, but I was in waaaaay better shape than I would have been in, this time last year. I have been able to get up for work with a relatively clear head on most days, like this morning.

Some negatives: back on Vodka; new triggers are spurring on old drinking habits; still having the odd weekend night with 12-15 units; still looking forward to drinking on most nights.

Also, recently I can sort of "feel" my liver. It doesn't hurt, but I kind of know it is there. I am not sure what to do about that. My doctor game me 120 pills of NAL and I have about 23 left. He does not know I am employing TSM, and I was hoping he would renew my prescription over the phone and I wouldn't have to see him until I was much further along the process with very documented successful results. I know that my liver was in good shape when I started this process. Has anyone experienced that sort of thing before? I wonder. I actually feel it a bit more after I have taken NAL and before I have drank. Once I drink 3-4 units, the sensation goes away completely.

Thanks to all on this site, especially Nick. I am going to be a regular again and will try to keep my story detailed and documented from week 16 onward. All the best to everyone.

G'day JDog, your honesty should be applauded. You're in the grey stage at the moment where nothing seems to happen very quickly and doubt may start to creep in. At least thats how I felt at your stage. Hang in there and document and reflect on those little victories like you did in your last post. Things ARE happening albeit at a subconscious neural level. Hang in there because you're likely to be in that stage for some time to come. All the best

Hello All,

Quick update. It is party Bar-b-q season around here and we are hosting parties almost every night in our yard. We have a great pool, etc. and the kids host their birthday parties out back, and we have had a couple of adult socials as well. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday were 10-12 unit nights. I'm not quite sure.

Things have gone pretty well in terms of behaviour, I have easily made it to the end of the night in all of the parties, but the units are up. Sunday was an afternoon bar-b-q and I probably had about 14 total units. I fell asleep on the couch last night and was quite foggy in the very early morn.

Those numbers are high for sure, but the truth. Some positives: I seem to be able to wait through the whole afternoon and start drinking later - I am not gripping from 12-5 like I used to when I waited. Last year at this time, when the clock struck 12 on a weekend, I started.

Also, each night I have either fallen asleep with a drink with booze still in it, which I dumped in the morning. Or I had the presence to stop and have a big drink of water before bed. Once again, this did not happen last year.

I have a lot of work to do tonight on computer and I am going to try to keep my drinking slow. Will report later. Best to all.

Keep on plugging away, JDog! All the behavioural changes sound really great, and I'm sure the units will come down in time. Just out of curiosity though: what do you mean by "feeling" your liver???
EL

Remember that "doubt" is part of the formula, especially when our numbers are high into our 40s. Extinction just takes a long time. But you'll get there, I'm confident of it. And try to get back to light beer ASAP. Your liver will thank you for it.

My best,

Nick

Thanks to all. When I say I am feeling my liver, it means that as the day wears on....I seem to be aware of my right side a little. And when I take my pill and wait the hour, I just feel the area. After a couple drinks, I feel nothing. Just a curious sensation.

I will be trying to get out of the Vodka soon. Tonight has been really good. Lots of things to do for work, and I didn't start drinking until after 9:30 and it is currently 10:38 and I have only had 4 units.

Onward we go....all the best to the TSM community.