Sounds like someone is ready for the "cured/regained control" list. Let me know!

Server, congrats on the breakthrough. I raise my coffee mug to your continued success in wherever TSM takes you.

Thanks everyone. My husband and I were talking about the changes I've gone through in the last three weeks, going from no AF days to 6 last week. He asked me "so, when are you on the cured list" and I couldn't really answer. I answered "I think I'm on the cured list when I am controlling AL instead of it controlling me." I told him that I am paranoid that this is some dream, that somehow it won't last. He said "yeah, if you fall of the wagon and go on a bender." But then he looked at me and said "but you've never been on a bender". And I agreed. I was/am a daily drinker, only ever between the hours of about 4-8pm. With NAL, even if I did "fall off the wagon" and drink 8 or 10 units, I would just feel like crap, sleep it off, and pick myself back up tomorrow. I guess I have to retool my thinking to consider what a future with NAL will be like, and how it doesn't have to be all or nothing. A success or a failure. Weak or strong. I've never been to AA or rehab or anything; it must be the media influence that has trickled down to me, making me afraid of the constant potential for weakness and failure. To be honest, I feel great about the last two weeks, and I think that another couple of weeks like this and I will be feeling "cured". I already feel I have "regained control" but I am also aware that any kind of stresses or situations can change that. I think time will help, more weeks will help and focusing on health, hobbies, my family and the future will be good for me. Thank you so much everyone for the support that I have gotten. It was sitting reading this forum that got me through the anxiety of the first AF day.

I agree, I too was brainwashed by the AA culture in that, even months after drinking at safe levels, I knew that I could still pound down several in one night if I wanted to. Further complicating matters is that you can go a month without drinking and then a rare trigger pops up and you have a mild compulsion to drink. If you even feel a tiny compulsion you fear, "Oh no, I'm not cured, I could go for a drink right now." And if you do drink through the trigger, the AA culture tells you that you are back at square one. And before TSM, you WERE at square one because one drink led to falling off the wagon and returning to hazardous drinking. But the absolute beauty of TSM is that you have regained control and are simply dealing with a rare trigger. You have already defeated 99.9% of your triggers and are going weeks without drinking and have still regained control. And you drink through the rare trigger, eliminate that trigger, and now 99.99% of your triggers have been extinguished.

It sounds to me like you have regained control. But that's your call. I look forward to adding your name to the list!

Week 27 will be over after today, but I've already posted it as an AF day because I know ahead of time that I'm not going to drink. I was AF all week and it was easy. I purposely planned to have a drink on Friday, so I went to the store and bought a bottle of champagne (sort of my celebration for not drinking anymore, ironically). I had two units. My stomach was sick after taking the NAL and it took a long time to drink that glass of champagne. The second glass I really felt and I made a couple of little argumentative comments to my husband and he looked at me. For the first time in a long time, I saw that look and was able to recognize it. The "oh, that's her when she's drinking look". When I was drinking, I'm sure I saw it and ignored it, or maybe I didn't see it because I didn't care. I felt badly, shut my mouth and did not enjoy the feeling. I made a pot of herbal tea to flush out the feeling. The next morning had a ripping headache, from the NAL or champagne, I don't know. I realized that it was not fun. Strangely enough though, Saturday I kept thinking about drinking, having a craving, even though I didn't have one all week, and hated the feeling when I was drinking on Friday. Now it's Sunday and I feel better and don't have any cravings. I don't know what this means. Do I need to keep extinguishing? Should I go AF for several weeks? Is it normal to have cravings after a night with alcohol, even though it was not enjoyable and I didn't have any cravings the rest of the week? If I have cravings, does that mean I need more NAL in order to fully extinguish? I need some advice from the experienced, who are ahead of me and have gone through this. Assistance please!

That's an interesting question Server. sometimes when I plan on drinking and then it's unsatisfactory, the next night (or whenever is another drinking opportunity) I feel the need to "make up" for lost time or something, and really drink a lot and enjoy it....

There is no rational cost-benefit to why we drink. If there were, none of us would have become alcoholics: we would have quit drinking once the costs of the hangovers outweighed the benefits...

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Your drinking levels are low and safe. You probably have a few weak triggers left to extinguish related to alcohol deprivation. I would just continue to drink when faced with cravings, following the golden rule, of course.

Week 28 is over and went very quickly. I just decided to see what a whole AF week would feel like. It was easy. There was the odd time I would see people drinking wine on tv, and think, "ah, if only I could be normal like that" but then I realized that I have the power to choose to have a drink if I feel like it. I just don't feel like it right now. Yes, the drink feels good, but the NAL makes me feel bad, and the dehydration and headache the next day is not worth it for me right now. I feel ready to focus on my health, healthier eating, more exercise and more of an active will to be present in my life. I realize now that when I was drinking heavily I just didn't care; I was fatalistic. I feel like crap, am gaining weight, am trapped inside my life hating ever minute. I'm going to die sooner and I don't really care. Now I do care. I care about my life, my kids, my husband. I think the depressive nature of the alcohol paired with the feeling of hopelessness had completely taken over my life. I'm going to keep on with AF days. I think I can officially state that I have regained control. I'm still too paranoid to say cured yet, but a few more weeks of AF days and weeks flying by without alcohol will give me the confidence to make that next list. I honestly never thought I would make it to this point. I cannot express how thankful I am to Dr. Sinclair, naltrexone and this forum. It has literally saved my life, my marriage, my present and my future.

Extinction continues for at least a couple years. It seems a formality to declare oneself cured in the light of this proposition. Somehow it seems a matter of confidence to claim "cured" status. There's no hurry for that; it gets better and better with time and the golden rule.

Awesome news! Congratulations!