Hey squirrel - I'm experiencing much the same on my start. I would have been pounding beers early on Sat as I got outside for a beautiful day working around the house and in the garage (TRIPLE TRIGGER!!), but just wasn't as motivated. Window on the future...great prospects...

I am having sleep weirdness too, although not up quite as often as you. Normally I have crazy lucid dreams if I make it through 2 days AF on the second night sleep. Sleeping drunk is denying the REM sleep I think...not even really deep enough for that, and the day after for recovery sleep seems like super deep delta non-rem coma sleep for me, but the next night would be like freakin' outer limits episodes. I started to get that last night on the nal, although a little foggier. I've always been able to experience my dreams like movies, so I don't really get nightmares, but last night was definitely some b-horror stuff going on! Good luck this week.

I also had sleep disturbance when I started TSM. Of all my side-effects, sleep disturbance took the longest to go away. But it did go away. But for around a month or two, I was a homicidal killer in every one of my dreams. Either I was killing someone else or they were killing me. I think my kill tally must have been close to 50 by the times the dreams stopped. And I never once had a dream like that prior to TSM...

Hello all, Thanks for the support!

Sunday was pretty similar to Saturday. Played with kids outside (FINALLY some gorgeous/warm weather here in CO), mixed with some chores and yard work. Wife went out with our son shopping for a couple hours while I stayed home with the little ones napping and hung out with some neighbors in the afternoon. All of these are triggers for me.

Like Sunday I had 8 beers, but, they were spread over 8 hours. Felt a mild buzz in the afternoon, however, VERY different than usual my mind was amazingly clear and I again stopped in the afternoon around 5:30. Any other Sunday the past couple years this would have been a 14-16 beer day ending when I would head to bed at around 10pm. I even had one beer left in the fridge that normally wouldn't have survived the night (why leave just one??) but I just didn't feel the craving or need to drink it. Slept much better last night than the previous 3 nights, only woke up twice. Had another dream or two last night, but can't remember what they were. I think I will skip drinking and go AF tonight.

Hi Squirrel-

Ahh yes, the old door locking routine. I've never gone so far as to actually change the locks, but I have locked my hubby out more than once because I was so angry that he didn't come home from work and I knew he was out drinking. We call it the "no call, no show" and I used to get so very angry, upset, and anxious about it. He would just disappear until 2 am.
I just wanted to say that I applaud you for trying this and making a change- change is not easy!! My husband is wanting too change too, but taking a pill is not his style. He quit smoking cold turkey after over 10 years of smoking - over eight years ago. He's just one of those poeple with a strong will (unfortunately so is our 4 year old daughter- ack!). I really do wonder if he can kick this beast though. He is warily watching my progress with TSM to see how it will work for me. I think we will end up changing our lives together (reduce the drinking), but in different ways.

Best of luck to you!

-dragonfly

So, last night was AF. My first real AF day by my choice in quite some time. I did have some medium cravings, but, had decided I would not drink and just waited them out.

Hope all is well with everyone!

Good work squirrel! AF days get easier. Keep on plugging along!
EL

Well, you've got me beat on AF days already, and you'll probably hold that distinction for a long time. Good work. The prospect of a night without alcohol triggers intense anxiety and dread for me. As long as I know there's a 6-pack waiting for me before I go to bed, I feel like life is OK. I honestly can't remember the last AF day I had. It's probably been at least three years.

Reading stories like yours inspires me because you have so much more on the line. You've got a wife and kids. The worst thing that can happen to me (other than health issues) is that I lose my job. I find it hard enough living as an alcoholic with my current level of responsibility, I can't imagine what it must be like for you.

Thanks EL and Ives!

My wife is still really leery of the side effects. She told me not take my Nal before I got home last night since I was picking up our youngest at daycare on the way home. As posted previously, I have (for now at least) decided to not even bring Nal with me in the morning, giving me no choice but to wait until I get home postponing/reducing some drinking time. As soon as I got home I went upstairs, cut a Nal in half, had a few crackers and took my Nal at about 6pm. I opened my first beer (24oz) at 7pm. I had it by my side while cleaning the kitchen and it was nearly gone at 8pm. Since she had read my first couple posts about how slow I was drinking last Thursday/Friday she got really upset accusing me of taking the Nal before I got home even though she had told me not to. I explained I hadn't, but she said she didn't believe me. Pre-TSM, after the day I had, I would probably have been at least 5 deep by 8pm.

I am not mad, but, I am a bit hurt. Though, I am sure not nearly as hurt as she feels. I can understand her doubting me, she did catch me sneaking/hiding beers not too long ago (stupid irrational AL brain!). Since starting TSM I have been 100% honest with her because I want and need her involved and to understand what I am feeling/going through at any given time. I also need to rebuild the trust she deserves to have in me.

As for my numbers last night, I ended up at 3 again, pouring out the other half of my 2nd 24oz beer. I had a crappy and hectic day at work that had me fiending for a beer ASAP. On my way home I stopped to get my two 24oz cans and thought really hard about getting three after the day I had, I was able to fight that off though. Cravings were HUGE and I hadn't eaten yet, so, I think that is why I was able to drink the first two so quickly.

The SE's were very, very mild last night. I was a little surprised considering all I ate was a few crackers with the Nal. While doing the dishes I felt tiny bit jittery, but, no spaceyness AT ALL. The metallic taste was the only other thing I noticed and that very mild as well. Sleep was good, I think I only woke up twice.

Hang in there all!!!

Squirrel, I had the spaciness the first couple of days but not much after that. There is no real contraindication to driving/parenting while taking nal but bear in mind you can feel more drunk on less AL. It won't cause your BAC to be higher you may just feel more intoxicated. I understand where your wife is coming from. If you were hiding drinks (I did that) it's a form of betrayal or dishonesty in your wife's eyes. It sounds like you're about ready to move down to 12oz beers.

I have been getting two 24oz'ers each day (except for the weekend) to limit what I have available, and thus my drinking. It is an effort to meet my wife in the middle. If I get 12oz cans it is an 18-pack, and I am afraid (from previous experience) if I have it available I will drink it. This wouldn't have been the case the past few weeknights, but, old habits die hard!