Hi Ketch

Well done on giving a drink away! I haven't done that myself yet. Sorry to hear about your thyroid and I hope it can be remedied soon.
I admire you going on stage and hope you enjoy being back there again. The message of TSM would be a great one to deliver further down the track.
I belonged to Toastmasters years ago (the whole sales team was told they had to if they wanted to get ahead and believe me I needed it!). I used to dream that when I got to my 10th speech I would talk about being an alcoholic and my journey in AA. But I didn't have the guts and it would probably not have been appropriate in a work setting. So I am passing on my TSM knowledge now by talking to people I feel comfortable discussing it with.

All the best for your health, with Mark and with your performing!

Cheers
Sticky

To Stickenly Sweet- My girl down under... Thank you for your well wishes!!!!

Hey, how about this, Ms. Toastmaster or is it Ms. Toastmistress..... when Nick, Andy, Dr. David Sinclair and I put together a travelling presentation, would you be willing to contribute your own, very significant, tale?

Think about it, lady.

This is my calling. And I know it.

The only fear is that the world will end before I can contribute my gift.

Well, look at the Atlantians. Do you think that they knew their consequent dimise before...

POOF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gone. Just like the dinasaurs. You think that they knew their fate?

Well, despite the world's affairs, I hope to repair my brain.. meet with and collarborate with the powers that be (Yourself included) on this site and simply set about treating alcoholism in a real, powerful and SCIENTIFIC way. Damn straight. Period. End of story. Beginning of real hope for millions......

Daydreaming here as per usual,

Ketchikan1

Hello. I am on the fourth day of my ninth week in TSM. I am still drinking a 1.5 litre bottle of white wine nightly. I have not had an AF day since... let me go look at the calendar... April 26th.

I am not even slowing down the consumption yet. My consumption is sizable too.

So Mark passed through Ketchikan yesterday en route to Ohio. He stopped in the cafe and ate, then we met at my flat around 2:30 p.m. He only had an hour and half and Patrick was in my apartment. Yes, Patrick and Mark met. There was no awkwardness or tension. But since Patrick was here, I suggested that Mark and I drive to the beach. I asked if we could stop for drinks, and I really meant a non-alcoholic beverage... but he kind of got defensive. He said, too, that he no longer wanted to contribute to my "addiction," meaning he does not want to purchase wine and drink to excess.

I again reassured him that TSM will work and that unlike his brain, my brain fires endorphines which act as positive reinforcements when I drink alcohol-- and that makes me want to drink more and more. But that in time the positive reinforcements will be extinguished. He said that he will believe it when he sees it.

I am in agreement! I will believe in TSM when my unit intake drops in a significant way. It is not the case as of yet. Unfortunately.

I won't see Mark until May 17th. He texted me last night from Sea Tac and said he was waiting to board. I wrote, "U R Beautiful." He responded, "U r drunk." I wrote, "yep. And u r beautiful." He wrote, "I called that one... nite love."

Allrighty then.

Oh well. I am too busy to care. The first cruise ships arrive tomorrow. I am in rehearsal and my first show is Tuesday. Patrick found a room to rent so I'll have my place to myself again. Life is good. It's relationships+Al that complicate matters.

On I go,

Ketchikan1

Is drinking on naltrexone any different for you? Did you have any kind of a honeymoon?

Keeping my fingers crossed TSM will work for you.

Hey Nick. In reviewing my calendar where I have been marking down my unit intake, I see that I had two AF days in my first week. And another AF day in the second week. Other than a sprinkling of days where I consumed 6 or 8 or 5 units-- my drinking is still "balls to the wall."

I am still drinking to oblivion. Still blacking out.

I probably did not experience a "honeymoon." Though I don't know.

The addict in me loves this treatment because it gives it carte blanch to drink as much as I want, just take Nal an hour before. Sounds like a winner!

When I do take Nal, I feel a sense of calm. Not in a narcotic kind of way, but a gentle sinking into say a more comfortable position within my skin. Does this make any sense to anybody?

Now, the progress I do see is that I no longer fall down, I no longer get up at 3:00 a.m. and start drinking, and I no longer drink before work. These are all very positive changes! Believe me, I was a bruised hot mess when I began TSM!

I still believe that I am in the 80% group. Perhaps my drinking is still very, very habitual. It's what I DO. I am hoping that the busy season, which kicks off tomorrow, will tire me out so I will not lend my remaining energy to alcoholic drinking sessions.

All I can do is stay on track and let time reveal what it wilt.....

Still hopeful,

Ketchikan1

Ketichikan, even those smalls changes (AF days, more clarity and less falling down while drinking...) are good signs, I think. But maybe it's time to exert a little bit of willpower along with the nal, just to test it?
EL

Hi Ketch - have just caught up on the last week. Wow! Wish I could give you a big hug

As the scars on your elbows heal - and no new ones appear then take this as visible proof you are doing well.

I think it's important to distinguish between blackouts and passing out unconciouss.

If I have 6 pints in 2 hours I black out. 4 pints and 2 shots equals a blackout. Do you know your limit?

It sounds like you function well whilst in blackout mode ( shopping etc.) Could your drinking goal be to just hit under your blackout limit?

I know you can do it! We love you on this forum and want you to succeed. X

It

Hi Ketch

Yep we all are rooting for you too! I'm in for your travelling roadshow, especially if I get to travel worldwide like I used to pre kids...
Seriously, at times I get discouraged with TSM when I wake up feeling like crap, but overall I still believe it will work for me. It is a long and rocky roller coaster ride, but so much better than the alternative. (For me the worst case scenario was buggering off in the car & not answering my phone for days on end. Sleeping in the car, buying more wine from the 24-hr supermarket & hiding out from the world.)
Today I have had a relaxing Mothers' Day - brekky in bed, bike ride with family, called in to see my Mum & Dad and hubby cooking mussels for dinner.

Take care
Sticky

Hello All!! Happy Mother's Day!!

Damn. Ripley didn't even give me a card.... what am I doing wrong?!?! Tee hee. Silly! Tricks are for kids and puppies don't shop at Hallmark!

Okay, this is my stellar day today. First of all, I had 5 units last night! Really and truly! After all my whining and bitching, I restrained myself in a perfectly NAL way last night. Two glasses of wine (Out and with others) and three Mike's Hard Pomegranate drinks (In and alone). Amazing...

This morning I had more than enough energy to wait on tables from 7-2:30p.m. and then I attended the first of the tailor-made Disney Lumberjack show. I sat with the Disney executives and there was a brief recognition between a man and me.... turns out!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::: We both opened the MGM/Disney Studios Theme Park in Orlando, Florida in 1991!

How about all these elements reaching from my past into my present? Incredible!

David carried on with the Walt Disney World Co. and it has served him well. He is a top exec in especially the cruiselines. Did you know Disney is buying a Hawaiian island? Now you do!

I am drinking tonight. Wine, of course. I do appreciate all the responses. Andy, I will be giving you a hug come November. And Electra, I will go against my very grain and sport a little ..... what's it called???? Will... hmmmm... Will--Oh yeah! WILLP-O-W-E-R!!!

And Sticky, I count you in, my love. Yes to travel and yes to a future tour!

I'm not whistling Dixie! Now dress rehearsal tomorrow and then tell me to break a leg for my first performance!

Here we go,

Ketchikan1

Good luck for the dress rehearsal today (Monday).

I think a 'cured' website first, then a group book, then we'll be able to get some TV talk show dates organised. I'd follow the model used by Tim Ferriss - he built a million-strong web fan base after writing his books, then went global with talk shows... check him out. Tim has offered to upload a link to the "group cured" website when it's ready to be launched!

So lot's of positive stuff... however my darling Ketch, don't avoid my blackout question

A few weeks ago you said, "it's as if I am going along fine and then the entire rug of consciousness is swept right from under me. At the end of EVERY drinking rainbow comes Blackout."

You seem to get upset and angry with yourself when you have a blackout (memory loss) ... even though this is a physiological response to alcohol. You can't control what happens in your brain, but you might be able to control how often this happens.

The first step is to ascertain your body tolerance to alcohol and quantify the blackout event.

If you've researched blackouts - or alcohol amnesia - then it's due to a sudden spike in your blood alcohol content. Downing 3/4 shots or chugging 1/2 litre of wine will do this for me. 15 minutes later = total blackout.

Can you guess when the blackout happens for you? There are only two variables:

Unit intake
Duration of time.

As it's a favourite of yours, let's go with White Wine.

I'll bet that blackouts happen after 1.5 litres to 2 litres of wine, when consumed within a 1 .5 hour period.

To prevent the blackout, you either have to figure how to extend the drinking period (same amount of wine over 3-hours) or drink wine less during the 1.5-hour timescale?

Addressing the blackouts will give you an excellent goal to strive for. I only have the confidence to say this to you as I know you are strong enough to fight this beast 'mo fo'