Hi HG,
Thanks for the birthday wishes! The whole family came down with the stomach flu on my birthday, so we didn't celebrate. No cake, no candles, no nothing! Yes, I'm ready for the next step but I'm scared. I'm scared I'm too weak, and yes, habit is huge for me. I am a boring, methodical person (no wonder I'm a librarian) and the 4o'clock glass of wine is a huge part of that. I think of my long departed Granny, who quit smoking cold turkey after 40 years...she bought Werther's butterscotch candies and called them her cigarettes...she replaced them and tricked her mind into believing one was as good as the other. If she could do it, I can do it. I'm going out to buy sparkling water with lots of fresh lemon...maybe I can convince myself that it's my 2 units a night and that AF day won't be so terrifying! I really appreciate the support. I talk to no one about this, not even my husband. No one knows about me; I was a very good closet drinker, so all these feelings just roll around in my own head. Wish me luck and I'll post in a day or two when my week is over!

Hi Server - I do wish you luck. I'll be pulling for you.

I spent my birthday in an emergency room ward with my now 17 year old (she was 16 at the time) for some type of stomach problems. Lovely, huh? So, I relate to your tale of the stomach flu on your birthday. Sorry to hear that happened to you but in the end those are the birthdays we remember the most as they bring the family closer together.

Keep the faith and I'll wait to hear from you.

Sorry the stomach flu was your birthday present
As for going AF - it WILL feel weird at first, but since you are at such low units already, I have total faith that it's possible.
EL

Hi Server

I'm sure an AF day won't be far off for you. Your progress is awesome so far!
Being a Kiwi I watched the royal wedding too. A girlfriend of mine said she'd bought some champagne to toast the wedding and that gave me the idea to do the same. Unfortunately it wasn't just the bottle of champagne - then I got into some hideous banana liquer hubby was given. He has several bottles of the stuff in the shed. Perhaps I should ask him to get rid of it.
At least it wasn't my old trick of driving up the road for more wine with kids asleep in bed and hubby out. Hopefully that behaviour is over for good!
I hope you managed to have a belated birthday celebration when you all recovered.
Take care

Sticky

Sticky - oh god, it's not 99 bananas is it? That stuff is the MOST lethal hangover ever.

Hey Server - No pressure at all.

Maybe we should do an AF together and just post back and forth until we go to bed. What do you think? We could pick a night although I'm not sure about the time difference. That may be a real problem. I am in MDT zone in the U.S.

Week 24 is finished and I have achieved two major milestones. I was able to do an AF day, and on a Saturday! I did feel huge anxiety during the day, but focused on replacing the "treat" feeling of alcohol with the "treat" feeling of sparkling water with fresh lemon. Buying it, slicing it, drinking it, and telling myself it was good for me, unlike AL. As 3pm came, when I always take my NAL, the clock seemed to slow down, so I distracted myself by coming here and reading posts. By 4pm, the anxiety had passed. It felt like being tested and succeeding. From then on, it was easy. I didn't miss it or want it. It's like the anticipation and anxiety was way worse than the reality. My second milestone was getting below 14 units for the week. Okay, it was 13.5 units, but still, coming from where I was 5 months ago, I feel pretty good about that. Now I need to build on this; more AF days, consistency, and one day soon, hopefully, not even having to think about NAL during my 3pm witching hour.

Amazing progress, Server!!!

That is great to hear Server! The AF days definitely will easier and easier, but of course be prepared for temporary setbacks. Amazing job!

OMG Server - That is incredible! Good going....the fear of an AF day is over for you and you did it! Yeah! Your progress with TSM has been amazing and you are near to regaining control. I am so proud of you.