Decided to add some background to the start of my progress thread: I'm a 34 year old mom of two, married. I've struggled with anxiety and depression since my teenage years and have been off and on various antidepressants since then. I've drank since about 15 but didn't have a problem with it until three years ago (though I did have one DUI when I was 19). After my second child was weaned three years ago I started drinking again. This eventually lead to self medicating of anxiety, which unfortunately alcohol is great for but it's brutal for depression. Over the past three years it's gradually gotten worse until now I feel out of control and I'm drinking a rediculously huge amount.


Ok so I just took my first Nal an hour ago. I decided to take 25mg after considering taking only 12.5 at first. So....I feel nothing. And by that I mean I have no feelings. It is really strange. You could tell me my mother died right now and I'd probably just look at you all spacey and reply "Oh, that's too bad". I have poured my first glass of wine but haven't even tried it yet. I came home with the bottle and had that familiar voice of "wine, wine, wine, wine, wine, wine" yelling at me that only stops when I take my first drink. Instead, I ate and took a Nal. Almost immediately the voice changed to "oh, look, there's a bottle of wine on the counter. huh." Then I stared out the window at the wind blowing the trees for an inordinate amount of time.....weird. I am starting to feel a bit nauseous and jittery but nothing too bad yet. No interest in my wine at all. Any of this sound familiar?

Very. I had been abstinent for about two weeks when I started TSM. I popped half a pill and was all ready to have a bottle of wine. But then I felt so lousy I didn't want to drink it and I had none that night. However, the side effects -- and your lack of interest in drinking -- are temporary. After a few doses your body acclimates to the nal and your interest in drinking will return. That's the experience of the vast majority here, anyway. But in 6-12 months you will quite probably regain control of your habit.

Post often and ask questions.

My best,

Nick

Yep, familiar here. Didn't drink the first two days I took the nal, actually, both because of SEs and TOTAL lack of interest in alcohol.

Oh all too familiar Dragonfly - I too had a couple of weird first nights on Nal. I drank but I didn't like it. The first night I took Nal it felt like an alien had crawled into my body and I was walking sideways! I think I drank the first night only because that is what the book says to do but I definitely remember being scared to drink......like maybe that would lead to walking upside down instead of sideways!

Like Nick said, that passes and pretty quickly. By week 2 I was drinking pretty normal again and all of the Nal SEs went away except the vivid dreams and the lessened tolerance for alcohol. It wasn't until weeks later that I realized another one of the SEs of Nal is remaining alert while drinking. That SE was from the first pill and has never left me unless I really over drink.

Strap in and welcome!

Today is the end of week one for me and I think it went fairly well. I started off on 25mg for the first four days then on Friday I went up to 50mg. Side effects weren't that bad at all, thankfully. I was fairly spacey at first but that went away. That hardest side effect to deal with was, and still is, the fatigue but it is managable. I went to bed at 8 for the first four nights and slept all night long. My sleep has been getting so messed up due to the amount of alcohol I have been drinking, though, that I think my body just wants the sleep.

I've continued to drink every day, but consumption has gone way down. I only bought a single bottle of wine and that pretty much worked for me each day. My cravings were way down- it really is amazing how Nal works. I did buy a 1.5L on Friday and I was a bit disappointed that I even did that- knowing that I would drink more than a single bottle if I did. I just felt that familiar pull into the liquor store, my feet going on autopilot straight to the large bottles. But, I didn't drink all of it which was unheard of before, especially considering I had my normal Friday night trigger of my hubby not coming home because he was out binge drinking himself. Normally, I chug the wine to try and stamp out my frustration and anger about it- well, at least, that's how it started. Then, I started drinking like that just because of whatever excuse I could find. Hard day?- drink! Kids difficult?- drink! Good day?- drink! Hangnail?- drink!

Yesterday (Saturday) morning I got up and was fully aware that I had about three more glasses of wine left in the bottle and I wanted them. But I haven't been taking Nal until the afternoon and I really didn't wan't to take it in the morning. There was no hangover to give me a reason to want to do this so wtf was I thinking? I realized that drinking all day on the weekends has become probably my most recent bad drinking habit. I wanted to do it for no other reason than to get a buzz all day long. BUT- because I've gone all week and have noticed that Nal takes away the feeling from alcohol that gives me that happy "whatever" feeling- I kept reminding myself that drinking it would do no good for how I felt. Then I put the bottle where I couldn't see it. I think this all day weekend drinking habit is going to be the first to go "extinct" since it is one of the most recent ones to arise.

A huge positive reinforcement for me this week is the lack of hangovers! I had 4-5 glasses each night, but I only had a slight headache in the mornings that lasted only for about 30min. The hangovers I usually have are somewhat bad, but I can function with them fine (as long as it's beer or wine- I tried my hand at hard alcohol and the hangovers were simply too much). I just hadn't realized how good it felt to go an entire week without one of my normal hangovers. I have felt really good and my improved sleep is part of it too.

Onward to week two! I'm feeling good, motivated, and hopeful about this. Hope everyone has a great week!

-akdragonfly

Great post. The honeymoon is strong evidence TSM will work for you. Beware the rollercoaster that is coming and expect a spike in drinking. It's just your body reaching for the old endorphin rush that is suppressed by Naltrexone. Realize it's part of a long process. You'll get there.

My best,

Nick

Dragonfly, you are off to a good start. I too had started drinking during the day on the weekends and that was the first bad behavior that went away for me too. I think it bodes well that you've had an initial response to nal. The suppression of the first drink effect usually accounts for the initial drop in numbers. As Nick wrote consumption can go up again so strap in for the next 3-12 months the reward at the end is more than worth it. You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders and have a lot of reasons to want to reduce your drinking. Welcome to the board.

Dragonfly - Great post. You are having a positive effect on Nal and that does bode well for you. Glad to hear you had a good week. Sorry to hear that your husband is a binger. Is he doing Nal?

Week two was a roller coaster in itself! My total units were 35 which is only slightly more than half of pre-TSM, but it wasn't the even 4-5 drinks each day like week one. Just as warned, my units spiked the beginning of week two. On Tuesday, I drank 8 units of wine- and certainly felt it the next morning. We left on Thursday night for a 3 day weekend with the inlaws who live about a three hour drive away. I was so busy on Thursday that I only had one beer, and didn't even take a Nal because I knew I wouldn't be able to even continue drinking past that (there wasn't any in the house). Then saturday night rolled around and my hubby and I went out to the local brew house for some beers. My mother in law also had some vodka and she made me a couple vodka drinks while we were still there at the house. At the end of the night I had a total of 9 or 10 units and, my god, the hangover the next day was brutal! I don't do well with hard alcohol I already know, but I only had like 3 units of vodka!! I haven't had a hangover like that in years. It was one of those all day, I-don't-even-want-to-think-about-alcohol hangovers. I've read about the Nal hangovers being bad, but for some reason I felt the need to test that out! Oooh boy. Thankfully, we were at the inlaws and they were watching the kids so I could sleep in waaayyy late and just chalk it up to a lazy mother's day.

The continued lower units are also due to the fact that most nights I'm still getting really drowsy from the Nal and that gets even worse when I start drinking. So, a big reason for the low units are due to the fact that I'm falling asleep super early at night still. I can't help it- I just get sooooo tired. If I wasn't so sleepy I'd probably be up and drinking a few more glasses of wine at night. Oh well. We'll see if that side effect continues or not. If I have to sleep my way to controlled drinking- so be it! I feel like the drowsiness is also adding a negative reinforcement to this process because I'm starting to think twice about drinking since I know it will make me even more tired when I don't want to be. I'm am less than productive right now going to bed at 8:30 every night!

I'm trying not to focus on the shame I feel that on mother's day I was too hungover to get out of bed. Instead, I'm focusing on the fact that my unit total is still low and the fact that I am currently "in treatment" to change my life and reverse this course I've started. I finally downloaded some new training music on my ipod and hope to be back up to a comfortable 5k run in 8 weeks, if not sooner. I'm looking forward to including in my progress the positive life changes that I hope to bring back. Like weight loss, getting back into shape, the start of new hobbies, or even beginning again hobbies that I've stopped. I think that will be really motivating.

I check in a read the forum every day, even though I don't always post. Like many others, I kind of think of it as a little bit of therapy. It's so good to have this resource here to keep me motivated and informed. Thanks guys!!

Good work dragonfly! I agree, the nal-over is lethal. I had my first and only one so far on Thursday and I literally couldn't move until 2pm, and ended up throwing up at 7pm after trying to finally eat something. UGH. But it's just more positive reinforcement that drinking too much is baaad!