The Easter Bunny feels reborn. Probably because the Easter Bunny has been drunk on Easter for the past five years. Always the same pattern; organize and buy the supplies, drink all evening, relay instructions to my husband and go to bed with the kids. He would do all the work late at night and it would be as much a surprise to me as it was to the kids. By 10am, I'd be into a bottle of champagne and go through at least two bottles during the day, always a glass in hand. This year is different; two small 5 oz glasses of white wine in the later afternoon while making dinner, nothing all evening, staying up late and enjoying laying out Easter Bunny treats and paths of jelly beans from the kids' rooms to the living room. Laughing and staying up past midnight. Smiling and sharing the joy of hearing a five year old freak out when they discover the Easter Bunny has visited. Not drinking in the morning; in fact, no AL in the house whatsoever. I have to clean the house up, make some salads and prepare to go to the inlaws later today. Usually, would be drinking, and feel anxiety right now that there is nothing here to drink. Thought instead to sit down here and write the successes instead of focusing on any anxiety. Asked my husband to pick up a bottle of champagne to take to the inlaws as a gift, not for me to down before we leave home. I will take my NAL before I leave in case wine is offered at dinner. This is my last day of week 22 and I'm at 13 units so far, so even if I have a glass or two max tonight, I will still be down again in numbers. It's a funny thing because I feel very proud of myself on one hand, but on the other, feel as though I don't have a right to feel proud when I feel so ashamed of what I am and what I have become...maybe forgiving myself is as hard as an AF day....Happy Easter everyone.

Be very proud of yourself for identifying a problem and taking control of it.

Happy Easter.

Hi Server

Happy Easter to you too. So glad to hear you had lots of fun with the kids and their Easter hunt. I did too.
Your progress to me seems near miraculous and you should feel very proud of yourself for perservering thru those terrible side effects and now only drinking a near healthy amount per week.
I can manage 3 AF days per week but am still drinking over 30 units a week after 20 weeks. Am hoping to see a reduction soon.
I hope the meal with the in-laws went well.

Cheers
Sticky

Week 23 is over and ended well. Holidays are tough, everyone celebrating, everyone drinking. I made sure to take my NAL well in advance and when we arrived and I was asked what I would like to drink, I said "water". Water, imagine! After an hour of sipping water, during dinner, a bottle of champagne was opened. I love champagne. I looked at the label and saw it was very low in alcohol, 7%. I took a small champagne flute and sipped it slowly. When a family member came around filling glasses, I let them fill it halfway and then said "that's enough, thanks". That was it for me. Home at a decent hour, no problems! I was worried that Easter would derail my progress (which is what happened at Christmas) but it didn't. My numbers are edging down slowly but steadily and I'm so close to the 14 unit per week goal that I have. Watch out, AF days, here I come! I hope... Thanks Nick and Sticky for the kind words of encouragement. It means a lot to me.

Server - I am so proud of you and yes, you need to forgive yourself. You made it back and that in and of itself is quite a feat. 14 units is a week is nearly normal drinking (it may be normal, I don't know). It is strong testimony that TSM works.

I too had a good Easter. I put together a bookshelf for my oldest daughter, made eggs benedict for breakfast, made a turkey for Easter dinner, and hung curtains in my youngest daughter's room. I didn't start drinking until 7 and so I kept it to 4 units for the night and went to bed. Life has changed for me so dramatically, like you, that I am grateful daily. I almost did an AF last night.....I could have and I knew it because I was so busy doing projects that drinking wasn't on my mind. I know it is just around the corner for both of us so keep the faith.

Hi HG,

Isn't it amazing how "useful" we can feel again! It's like rediscovering skills you forgot you had. I have to set small goals for myself so that I see and can recognize the progress I am making. Getting down to 14 units, which is considered the Canadian guidelines for acceptable weekly alcohol consumption for a woman, is my next goal. Ultimately, I would like to go lower than that, and that will certainly be achieved when I can start to fit those AF days in. My end goal is going a day, a week, a month, without thinking about alcohol, what is in the house, if I have to go out and get some, what time of day it is, etc. No matter how low I'm getting, I still feel like it is running me, not the other way around. I just have to sneak up on it a little at a time, and when the time is right, tell it to get lost! I'm glad you had a good weekend and that we are progressing in a positive manner.

Happy Easter!

Server, AMAZING drink figures!! Wow, I can only hope that I am as successful in the long run.
I totally hear you on the difficulty with forgiving yourself...sometimes I have these flashbacks of all the stupid/dangerous stuff I've done while drunk and I wonder if I will EVER get over it and feel like a fully responsible human being
All best,
EL

Hi Server - You are on your way. Yes, it is amazing to see the progress in TSM although my units are way higher than yours. Still, I am daily amazed by how Nal is loosening alcohol's grip on me. Like you I still feel like it is running me and not the other way around but I do have moments where I am in charge and those moments keep me going. I too want to go abstinent....maybe forever. Right now I don't know how my life is going to look when I've regained control. In the beginning with TSM I thought I would be "cured" in 3 months. Ha! I should have known that I cannot predict the future. So, now I'm thinking if I can get to 14 units a week I can declare that I have regained control. You are nearly there my friend. Once you hit the magic 14 units per week you will realize that you can go AF. Afterall, if you are only having 2 units in a night.....it can't be that hard to have none. But even if you never go AF and continue at 14 units a week you will likely live a long and healthy life.

I am so proud of your progress with TSM. Keep on keeping on.

Hi HG,
Thanks for the support. I feel really discouraged today. I feel exhausted all the time and feel hungover from 2 units worse than I used to when I had 10-15 a night. I really want to have AF days, lots of them. I don't want to take NAL all the time and I just need that last push to start the AF days. This week has been hard; Easter dinner, hockey playoffs, royal wedding (we are Canadian, after all), my birthday, lots of reasons to celebrate and overindulge. I've got two days left in this week and I'm only at 11 units, but I want more and know I just have to get off my ass and force the AF day. Maybe this restlessness is part of the cure, wanting more for myself and not accepting my excuses anymore. Thanks so much for the support.

Hi Server - Don't get discouraged......or at least I'm sorry that you are discouraged. 11 units 5 days into the week is simply amazing to me, but I hear you. I really notice the Nal hangovers as well as the general feeling of being unwell on Nal and I too am sick of it. I have no desire to stop taking the Nal while drinking but I too want to stop taking Nal altogether and just quit drinking. I really feel that I'm stuck on the habit part of it. Like I've said before that is what I do at home and in my chair in front of the TV. For me though, I'm still addicted so despite my feelings I'm just going to have to keep going until I get to regained control. For you, it is so much nearer to regained control. You are almost there and like you said that final push is right around the corner. You and I will get there Server. We have been daily wine drinkers for a long time and we just have to be patient with this process. We are both afraid of AF days because I think we know that if we did an AF day we probably wouldn't drink again......here's to hoping anyway.

We shall see. I think you are doing great and right now you are my inspiration....so keep posting, and thanks.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you, HAPPY BIRTHDAY dear Server, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!