Ketchikan, your posts always make me smile. You have a way with words and you are definitely "getting busy living". It's great that you're already attracting better quality men and that you're having a good time on your dates without alcohol ruining things. Wishing you more of that.

Awwww. Love that, Tambo: Your wishing me "more of that." Thanks!!!


Me too,

Ketchikan1

"Back in the 80's when I was a flight attendant I used to crave chocolate and tomatoes!!"

Dang, Sticky! Chocolate AND tomatoes? Simultaneously?

Huh. That's gotta be an aquired taste!

Nonetheless, VERY cool that you were a flight attendant! You must be a beauty!

Chocolate and tomatoes.....

Really,

Ketchikan1

I thought the same thing about the chocolate AND tomatoes. LOL!

Maybe there's a good idea there for a new dessert - chocolate covered cherry tomatoes? Chocolate covered sun dried tomatoes? I'll have to start testing tomorrow!

Oh my goodness! I had a 10 HOUR date yesterday! It was awesome!

The gentleman that I went out boating with was great! His boat was practically brand new and we went and gathered his crab and prawn pots and there were hundreds of shrimp and 12 dungeness crabs!!!!!!

In one of the shrimp pots there was a medium sized (say, 3 feet long) OCTOPUS!!!! Christopher suggested that I touch it bare handed and so I did. That little guy sucked on my hand and wrist with two of its hungry tenticles!! But they are smart creatures. I imagine that Octopus'es are smarter than humans... who knows... so when we let him loose back in the ocean-- he gave a proper farewell with a big burst of dark red ink. "Fare thee f&%$#ing well, stupid-heads!!!" he was probably saying. It was bad ass! Did you guys know that an Octopus has a beak??? You learn something new every damn day!

There were a lot of starfish, too. Good times. What an adventure.

So, Christopher recently seperated from and divorced his wife of three years. Why? Take a good guess fellow TSM'ers......

You got it! Alcoholism was the determining factor. Except she evidently was a rager. Scurrilous, in fact. A hot mess. Physically and verbally abusive. He said that the moment he knew it was over was on his third wedding anniversary. He had gone to trial that day and the case on which he was working was a complicated and emotional custody battle. He was wiped out to begin with, but wanted to celebrate the anniversary so headed out with his ex to a romantic dinner. Afterward, and this is where I'm sure we can all relate, she wanted to keep the party going and suggested a nightcap at a local bar. He told her how tired he was and that he could hear bed a'calling, but upon her insistance, he acquiesced. They stopped for a quick one, and then she started chatting up the bartender and ordered another round and a shot... it was then and there that he realized that he was with the wrong woman at the wrong place at what should have been an ideal time and night.

Now, ask me if I told him about TSM.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

No.

After he dropped me off at my flat (I live right on the harbor above a tavern) so I could change clothes and take Ripley out for a bit, he cleaned and butchered the crab and prawns and we met at a grocery store an 1/8 of a mile away.

Now, I knew to tread carefully, because I am absolutely alcoholic as was his ex, and we were on our way to having a fresh and delicious dinner. But, shoot, I wanted a glass (or five) of wine. He purchased crab crackers and Old Bay seasoning and I bought three bottles of pinot grigio. I took only two bottles into his house for the dinner. Such an alcoholic move to stash some booze in the car for later... can you guys relate, or what?

I did drive while intoxicated last night. Though, I conciously paced myself and drank in a lower gear. Gosh, that is so laughable! I mean, non-alcoholics simply do not think about things like that. Like, pacing oneself, or doing shots on the sly when nobody's looking (Andy), or slamming a couple of wines before meeting Christopher in my own car at the grocery store that night. Non-alcoholics just drink... but they, unlike me, stop after a few. Imagine that!

I'm still stealthy. Still hiding my drinking. Classic.

Haven't heard from Christopher today. Well, he's probably following that dumb two-day rule. Can't call a girl until 48 hours pass. It would be like he's desperate after all.

Perhaps I am the desperate one,

Ketchikan1

Aw Ketch - I'm so glad you had such a lovely date. You deserve it.

No surprise that Christopher hooked up with another alchy. It isn't so easy to just divorce them....they are in the blood of those who are addicted to alchys and he's probably one of those if he hooked up with an alchy in the past! I spent my early years addicted to alchys and never drank because my dad died an alchy skid row bum. When I finally hooked up with a non-alchy I became an alchy! Go figure.

Enjoy yourself with no expectations...not that you aren't doing that. It would be lovely if it all worked out but for now your focus is Nal+Al and if you have to control your drinking around him then you are not extinguishing triggers. Hope that makes sense and feel free to take what you like and leave the rest of what I have said.

A ten-hour date? No way dude is not interested. And I can totally relate to a date being a big trigger. And hiding booze... And driving drunk... And dating fellow alchies... Flash back to a date I had after 30 weeks or so on TSM... I didn't have the urge to have a shot when she went to the bathroom and didn't drink pre-date: proof positive TSM was working big time.

It will work for you, keep on keeping on...

Thanks HG for being so candid regarding your own life experiences. Life's lessons can come hard, that's for sure.

What you wrote, HG, also reminds me that we find what we seek. Especially in partnerships. I have never been hit by a man. Men seem to smell that in a woman, I think. They find each other: the girls who grew up thinking that it is a form of love to be battered seek out men who grew up watching daddy put mom in her place and violently.

So it is interesting that Christopher found me, another alcoholic. How did he do that? Do alcoholics emit some sort of chemical, pheramone, scent, characteristic??? I dunno.

You are right, too, to have advised me not to go for the outcome, just to go with the flow. I am. I have two more dates this week. Well, it is Alaska, afterall. The ratio is 10:1, Men to women.

There is a saying here about this-- that for women, finding a man, "the odds are good, but the goods are odd."

Last night I did not feel like drinking. I had that show meeting and tried on costumes for approval today and last night I made it all the way to 6:30 pm before I finally gave into..... what? What was it that made me succumb? It was not a craving per se. Maybe I drank just out of plain, old habit and I ended up polishing off a whopping 1.5 liter bottle of pinot grigio.

I remember reading in Susie's progress that she was facing difficulty in extinguishing the habitual part of her drinking. For me, I admit, it is a behavior deeply engrained.

It's only 12:30 pm here. But I do not feel like consuming alcohol.

Maybe I'll hit the gym,

Ketchikan1

Hey, Nick. I thought you were mad at me for calling hyou Pimp Daddy.... I haven't heard from you in awhile.

No doubt he likes me. I like him.

But, I think he's kind of damaged goods right now. I was a mess after my divorce and it took me years to get over it.

I'm not keen on being anyone's rebound relationship.

I'm at a point in my life that I am wanting my true partner by my side. I want to travel, camp, explore, hike.... and NO KIDS!!!! Daogs are welcome, though.

So are you going to marry this gal you've been seeing for a year?

Ketch - You are just too funny. Yeah I do think we alchies have a lovely sweet sickly stinky smell that just drives men (or women in a man's case) NUTS! Yeah, right! It is because we are funny, lively, and typically brash/brave/confident...whatever you want to call it.

10:1 WOW....I'm moving to Alaska. See ya hubby!