Monday I had 6 units late after work. Last night, had to drive the kids around town and didn't get home until 10. Settled down in front of TV, had 3 units and felt really tired. Went to bed, slept like a log. So 9 units past 2 nights.

Tonight. I am out again and had my NAL so I will have at least a couple when I get home. We'll see how that ends up. Interesting positive of last night and tonight: I am not dying of anticipation until I get home to drink. Last night the same: I have always been able to wait until my responsibilities were complete for the day until drinking, but if I had to wait until 10, I'd be really strained.

Also, I am really pleased that my drinking clearly has not spiralled out of contol like I feared it might when I started TSM. Still drinking too much, but it is not debilitating like last year. Not affecting my work, and I haven't gone to work feeling really bad for a couple of weeks now. Putting in my time, following The Golden Rule and still hoping for the best.

Sorry to say, but I am posting under the influence. 7 units last night and 8 tonight. Good night all.

I had planned on only having 6 for a while...on #7.

At least you have Nal!!!

I think it's a safe bet that just about all of us have been "guilty of PUI." No crime in that. It's gonna' be like this for you Jdog for six months at least. As we have said, enjoy the clarity and the small differences, while continuing to resent being a slave to alcohol. You'll get there.

JDog - You have the right attitude and will get there. In the beginning (about 6-8 weeks) the unit numbers for me were all over the place. So, be patient and it will all even out.

Hi Everyone,

Check my signature for the results. I am at 52 units for the last week. I am disappointed that I am still at such a high number. I know it is lower than the other weeks, but I am not feeling great about it. I am trying to be as positive as I can, but it is hard not to be afraid.

I feel like I could have fought myself for a couple of AF days, but just decided to take my NAL, wait my hour and drink like I felt like it. I did a lot of research before I embarked on this journey and decided that it was worth the risk to try TSM.

I had a tough time this week with my wife. She is an Angel. If you have read my whole story, you know that I have told only my dad and mom about my TSM adventure and noone else.

She promised me that she wouldn't tell anyone what I am up to, but I found out that she told her sister (who works in the health care industry) that I am drinking on NAL and trying TSM. Predictably, her sister searched the research and didn't find a whole lot to support my plan of attack on my alcoholism. She knows that I was in rehab last summer, and I am certain that she doesn't support or understand that I am not drinking recklessly or irresponsibly. I am sure that she thinks that I am relapsing and has told my wife as much. I thought my wife was totally behind me, but now I am not so sure. I am afraid that her family will think that I am back to my drinking out of control and will tell her to leave me.

At every step of this journey, I feel confident, then afraid. Something happens that makes me think I am cured, then I have a couple of "regular" drinking nights and I worry again.

This week, when I take NAL, I feel a little spacey and moody, and then I start to drink. Once I am drinking, I don't feel as much resistance as in the first couple of weeks. I just seem to be able to drink slower, in a more "clear" manner, and I seem to be able to stop late at night and have a big drink of water before I go to bed. I am alarmed that the NAL does not seem to slow me down as before. In other journals, this is how it seemed to work out for them around this time.

I just keep praying that if I keep at TSM, I will someday be a normal person WRT alcohol. My wife asked me what I hope to accomplish with this. I told her that I hope to be like her. Come home from work without alcohol on my mind at all. She almost never drinks, so I am sure that on a nightly basis after work, she does not have her brain debating with itself over whether she is going to drink or not. As an alcoholic, the debate of whether to drink or not is constantly on my mind. I am really hoping that the Pharmocological Extinction will actually work on me, and I will not have the drinking voice tormenting me every day.

Back to my dream: and then, for the 4 or 5 times in a year (wedding, party, Vegas, etc.) when I might want to have a party night, I can take NAL and have a good time. Like a normal person, is what I pray that I can be through TSM. I want to come home on a daily basis and not want any booze. Then when people are over, or there is a special event, I can take my NAL and have a good time with them.

We will See.

JDog - we are in this together! You posted a few replies to my intro, and are a few weeks ahead of me. I have total confidence that TSM will work for BOTH of us - based on our early responses / side effects - as well as both of us experiencing The Honeymoon Effect.

I just want to say i have read your posts, and I know WE CAN DO IT!

Think about the good of where you are at - I can tell you that in my short two weeks:
blackouts=gone
hangovers=gone
asinine behavior =gone

That alone is reason enough to continue TSM!

Hang in there - we will conquer the beast together...And dont forget The Golden Rule!

Hi JDog,
I can certainly relate to your concerns regarding TSM and weather it is working for you. We have to cling to the small successes and hang in there for the long run. I just had two nights of heavy drinking, just like pre TSM, but I am not as obsessive about getting my first drink, my behavior when drunk is better and best of all my relationship with my husband is the best it has been in a long time. He knows I am on TSM but he doesn't talk to me about it so besides the support of this board I am on my own.
Time, time, time-every successful TSM'er says the same thing- it takes time. You will make it!

Hi Everyone,

I don't have much time to post. Just to say that Friday, Saturday and Sunday were old fashioned drinking days for me. 12, 12, 14. I am kind of bummed out and scared right now, my wife is too.

I fell asleep on the couch the past two nights. Started drinking Saturday and Sunday around 3pm and the 12-14 units were spread out throughout the day until 10 or 11pm. I woke up each morning feeling ok. No hangover. I think the drinking is more spread out than prior to NAL and it must be out of my system by the time I wake up. Still hitting the vodka with lots of water and juice.

I noticed that some people had a spike at week 5 and maybe mine is going to be this week, I don't know. I drink slower and not as compulsively, but I have not felt much resistance to the booze, like I did a while ago. I feel the NAL right away in my head when I take it and I am kind of spacey and moody for the first hour or so after NAL if I don't drink right away.

I would appreciate some feedback from the "Vets" around here. Thanks.

The key distinction between now and pre-TSM is your behavior while you drink -- NOT the numbers. Your wife will not leave you if you do not act like an ass while drinking and it sounds like you are not in that category. You are also not on the couch hungover for hours which would be another major consideration for a partner.

I checked my progress at week 5. I had 49 drinks -- about the same as you. Just keep taking the pill and think naltrexone+drinking+patience = regaining control. You will get there -- there is no doubt in my mind.

End of week 5: 49 drinks, 1 day AF. By far my worst week since starting naltrexone but with many extenuating circumstances. First, my brother was in town and we are very close. I only see him once a year at the most as he lives in Vietnam. So we went out a lot during the week and my usual weekdays that are typically AF became drinking days. My biggest set back was Friday night. It was the first time I lost track of exactly how many drinks I had since starting TSM. I was doing the pouring of Grey Goose and should have been writing it down. Anyway, I'm confident that I had no more than around 15 units over six hours or so. The good news is that even though I drank a ton, I didn't blackout conversations and didn't act drunk -- GF was fine with my conduct, whereas she routinely ragged on me for my drunken behavior pre-TSM. I'm going to chalk up the week as an aberration due to environmental factors that almost certainly would have resulted in far more drinking pre-TSM. So, there is no doubt in my mind that TSM is still working for me. If I had to live the rest of my life at this level of craving I could deal with it but I am confident that I am well on my way to THE CURE. Lastly, my side effects are basically a thing of the past. I sleep fine and my nausea from the first week or so is a distant memory. I'm looking forward to a week of drinking within safe/reasonable levels but we shall see. Oh yeah, and one more thing. On Saturday, before heading out, I had poured a drink and took one sip, realizing that I had not taken the nal. I dumped that sparking Grey Goose and tonic in the sink, took the nal and waited the hour before drinking while out on the town. A tiny indicator that the grip of alcoholism is loosening as, at minimum, pre-nal Nick would have taken that drink and put in the fridge and saved it for later.