You are responding very quickly to TSM and there is no doubt it will work for you in the long run.

A caveat: almost all of us on "the cured/regained control" list found that we had no interest in drinking ON SOME NIGHTS. We mistakenly thought we were cured. In reality, we had defeated smaller triggers and later on, when bigger triggers hit, we were surprised/disappointed that we drank a lot when faced with those. So, it may seem like you are almost there but you still are months away from reliably drinking under control.

SpringerRider and I had these observations about triggers in July '09 that have turned out to be accurate for most people here:

I was struck by this critical observation by SpringerRider and thought it merits its own post:

Do not see your upticks as failures or setbacks. These are deeper triggers rising to the surface. Remember, when you first start, anything is a trigger. Things like air and daylight are enough to make you drink. As you knock these high level triggers down through the process of extinction, more deep rooted and often more powerful triggers will surface. Don't let it scare you away. It is the Sinclair Method working for you as long as you follow the golden rule.

I have noticed this myself but wasn't fully aware of it until I read this comment by SR. Triggers come in all sizes, from relatively small to profoundly mountainous. For me, a relatively small trigger is 5 PM on any day of the week -- cocktail hour. This is roughly the time I have historically started drinking (before TSM) on the weekends and always on vacations. During my non-drinking days of Sunday to Wednesday the thought of drinking always crossed my mind at around 5 PM (unless it's a Sunday, hangover recovery day where I swore off alcohol for 24 hours). Since before TSM I routinely didn't drink a few days a week at 5 PM, this trigger was on the very minor scale for me. And yesterday, when I took an AF day, I noticed that 5 PM came and went and I didn't even think about drinking -- it did not cross my mind. And this happened to me on a non-hangover day where I was feeling fine and it NEVER would have happened pre-TSM. This is strong evidence to me that TSM is working for me and that one of my minor triggers has been extinguished since starting TSM.

Now let's move to the other side of the trigger spectrum -- the profoundly mountainous trigger for me -- the knock down, drag out fight with GF where after years together, the words, "It's over, this isn't working" are uttered. I have either said or heard these words roughly five to ten times in my life where a significant, long-term relationship is over. This is probably my biggest personal trigger and when it comes up, my urge to climb into a bottle is insurmountable. It happened to me when I complained that I wanted to get drunk but couldn't get drunk enough on naltrexone two weeks ago. Something on this level also happened to SR when his daughter was facing multiple hours of surgery. These huge triggers will be almost impossible to extinguish. I am pretty sure that even if I were to go AF for years with zero cravings, that when a relationship ends that I will have a huge urge to drink heavily.

In between the minor triggers and the profoundly mountainous triggers are all of the other daily triggers that we will have to defeat on our TSM journey. For me, some would be a Friday afternoon, any party, a feeling of accomplishment, a feeling of sadness, a feeling of loneliness, a feeling of a job well done, etc., etc. Some of these triggers, depending upon how ingrained they are in my psyche, will take longer to extinguish than others. As I said, a relatively minor trigger for me, 5 PM, has already been extinguished. I'm sure there are several other triggers for me personally that have been extinguished since starting TSM that I'm not even aware of. Just one example of "other triggers" would be whatever goes through my head after the first drink. Pre-TSM I'd have the first drink and the second drink could not come fast enough: "Where the hell is that waitress??" Since starting TSM I have not once impatiently waited for the following drinks to arrive the way I did before starting TSM. This is more evidence to me of trigger extinction that I'm not even really aware of at a conscious level.

The moral of the story for me is that the process of TSM is probably a rollercoaster ride because of the varying degrees of triggers that we are facing on a daily basis. We extinguish a few of the minor triggers and are very happy with our noticeable success. And then, inevitably, a larger trigger comes along and hits us in the head that may take quite a bit longer to extinguish than the lesser triggers. We then defeat a few of the higher level triggers by drinking through them on naltrexone. And then we defeat those higher level triggers and incorrectly assume that we are in the clear. And then a profoundly mountainous trigger rears its ugly head and we completely fall of the wagon. It would be easy to conclude that TSM isn't working after an encounter with a mountainous trigger leads to a huge binge. However, upon further, deeper reflection, it simply was a mountainous trigger that had yet to be defeated. And the failure to defeat this mountainous trigger should not blind us from the fact that we have already extinguished several lesser triggers, some that we are consciously aware of, but many that were eliminated without us even being aware of it. In other words, TSM is still working for you, even though you were not yet able to defeat that one ultimate trigger and do not lose sight of the fact that hundreds, if not thousands of lesser triggers, are being extinguished routinely during TSM. We are aware of some of them but most are probably extinguished at a subconscious level. As I see it, extinguishing varying levels of triggers is manifested by the non-linear, rollercoaster ride of TSM. And if we are patient and are loyal to the formula, NALTREXONE PLUS DRINKING = CURE, we will inevitably be victorious in our quest to defeat The Beast.

An addendum that just crossed my mind during my jog: As SR said, when we first start TSM, anything and everything is a trigger: the sun, the air, being awake, etc. These are the tiny, smaller triggers. It is possible that when we first start TSM, we are extinguishing the tiny, daily triggers, i.e., the weakest triggers that we have learned during our lifetime of drinking. We easily defeat these lesser triggers during the honeymoon phase and falsely think that we are cured. Then "The Beast" steps in and says, "hell no" and introduces the bigger triggers in its effort to make us continue drinking. We then face the bigger triggers that take more time to extinguish because they have been conditioned longer and are more forcefully entrenched in our psyches than the weaker triggers, like the sun and air. As we progress on TSM, we defeat the medium-sized triggers and again start to see lower drinking levels than pre-TSM. At some point again The Beast returns with the mountainous triggers that have been conditioned in our psyches for an even longer period of time and it will take even longer to defeat these mountainous triggers. (An example would be SR declaring victory, only to have one last mountainous trigger -- his concern for his daughter's health -- extinguished.) When we finally slay the mountainous triggers, we can safely say that we are cured...

Just a theory that makes sense to me...

Thank you Nick. I can't thank you enough for you sharing your wisdom and experience with me and everyone else on this board. I know that I have a long way to go, I am just so happy that I have hope it will work, and that I wasn't foolish or reckless to take this crazy ride.

I am not counting my chickens before they are hatched. I wonder there is need for another book to be written my the experienced TSM.com people to help others on their journey.

Well, in a way I am confident that you can count your chickens: no one here has had as much initial success as you only to conclude TSM didn't work for them. Just realize there are still going to be significant bumps in the road on your non-linear path to regaining control.

I'm really glad that what I have to say is helpful to you.

Jdog, just wanted to comment about the depression. I agree that it is a chemical change. It seems like almost no matter how much I drink on nal, I don't feel depressed the next day. Before TSM, I would always have horrible anxiety and depression the day after a binge. Now I don't. It's more than an attitude change, but actually something chemical.

I've theorized before that it is because our opioid receptors don't get overstimulated when we drink on nal, so they don't have a chance to be understimulated the day after.

Also, you seem to be progressing extremely quickly in TSM. Who knows, you may be one of the lucky few that regains control in 3 months.

Hi Jdog - That is go great! Although TSM doesn't stop us from drinking a high number of units it sure does make a difference in how they affect us and those early successes keep us going. Good for you and thanks for the inspiring post.

Thanks everyone. I gain so much from the support of everyone here, and hope that my tale may help others.

I'm in Canada and we are coming out of winter and starting to see Spring. I have a great place with a big lawn, lots of trees, etc and I really enjoy doing work out back. And of course, I would often drink while being out there. Yesterday was a sunny relatively warm day, so after my Nal, I had 4 units in the backyard. Then I settled down to watch Golf, and then Baseball and put away another 8 units over the course of the evening. 12 Units.

So as predicted by many, I had another big day. Bad sleep, and not terribly happy this morning. Slight headache. I drink a ton of water. As opposed to the night before, I really didn't feel much resistance to drink from the NAL, although it did slow things down for sure, as I was up until almost 12 midnight. In the past 15-20 units would have been gone, I would have passed out in the early evening and probably woke up at 3am.

Onward on the TSM adventure...

One of my favorite drinking pastimes was watching Tiger Woods win the Masters. Now I do it completely sober. Watching sports on TV is one of those HUGE triggers that will take much time to extinguish. My first year of TSM I was cruising along fine until NFL Sunday and then I had 12 or so with my pals. Now I don't drink, even on football Sundays. Your increased clarity and control shows that you are surely on your way.

My best,

Nick

Another similar Sunday to last. Started in early afternoon. Drank relatively slowly, watched golf, had dinner, watched movie all the way to the end at 10:30 pm and went to bed. Towards the end of the movie (maybe 45 minutes to go) decided to stop drinking. Once again, a decision that I have not been able to make in the past. Never did I drink like yesterday and not end up overdoing it to pass out and usually a look back at the Vodka bottle thinking about how I wished I hadn't drank that much. Stopping and going to bed, having a big drink of water before, certainly made today at work much more bearable.

In the middle of the afternoon, I did a chore that has been sitting around the house for a while. It only took 15 minutes, but I felt good that I got it done. My wife was pleasantly surprised that I did it. She said, "Well your drinking is different. Before, once you started, you only had one thing in mind."

Very encouraging.

Tonight, I considered going for an AF day. Around 8pm I started thinking about having a couple so I quickly took NAL. My wife and kids were out of the house for a couple hours and I have plenty of liquor around. Normally, I would have been well into it, or at least desperately fighting off the insane urge to drink. I was easily able to wait until 8 and am easily waiting my hour right now. Both good signs. I'm sort of feeling like I should have fought my way through to a AF day, but that is that. I hope to have only a couple or few tonight.

Too early in the process to fight for AF days. Drinking through a trigger is therapy -- think of it as such. If you feel triggered, drink. Sounds crazy, but that's TSM. You are eliminating triggers when you drink through them.

You are on your way.

NS

jdog-
been away for awhile and just caught up on your thread. keep it up and follow that golden rule.
also- the extensive post from nick was just what i needed- i have run into some of those mountainous triggers of late... glad to be back among compatriots.